Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
That's right, you've been "elfed".
He who Elf’s last, elf’s loudest!!!!
There will be plenty of time in the New Year to discuss health care, global warming, the development of nuclear weapons by our enemies, and so many other topics concerning the fight for freedom in 21st Century America. With so many people disillusioned with the "hope and change" proffered recently as a substitute for true faith, this might be the best of times to examine the only true hope of humanity.
The greatest man who ever lived, the God-man, Jesus Christ, was born in the humblest of settings to become the Savior of mankind. At the time of his birth, even King Herod's men did not think to look in a stable for a king. Kings are born in palaces, among opulence and luxury. Jesus did not fit the template. For two thousand years the human race has continued to look for something more, something flashier, something more glorious, something greater. For those of us who passionately believe in the story of the Nativity, it is a clear reminder of why our faith is a life to be lived in the Spirit the Living God. What could be greater than that?
That is the difference between Christianity and every other religion in the world. Scripture tells us what Christ had to say about himself. He said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me." If that is not true, then He was either a liar or a lunatic, and no one believes that. In fact, virtually every other faith speaks of Jesus Christ as a wise prophet, a great teacher, or a good man, and other religions are willing to acknowledge that following Jesus is one of the ways to heaven. But Christ says He is the only way to heaven. No wonder He was crucified.
Christianity also is unique in that it proclaims that its central figure is still alive. Hindus think their leaders have been reincarnated. Buddha and his followers are thought to be part of some vast cosmos of energy. Mohammed, fiercely and violently defended as he may be, is still dead. Even the bodies of Abraham and Moses have long ago turned to dust. Jesus Christ alone is believed by his followers to be physically alive -- in spite of having faced the worst death imaginable.
Far too many in our society reject the simple gospel presented by Christ and his disciples in favor of alternative religions that teach vague notions of piety through good works. The social gospel of using government to create an earthly utopia will disappoint us every time. False prophets and self-serving politicians have always been at the forefront of man's disenchantment. They offer hope but dispense hopelessness. They promise change but deliver bondage -- to an ideology, an idol or a doctrine. There is only one infallible answer. Discontented seekers of new age solutions to age-old problems need only look to the truth of the Christmas story.
This week, as we celebrate the miracle birth of a baby who would grow up to be both man and God, who would lay down His life as a sacrifice for the sins of those who would believe, we also should remember that He is still with us. Like Christmas itself, the reality of Christ persists and grows stronger. He was born, lived, died, and rose again. He ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of His Father, to make intercession for us, and He sent His Holy Spirit to live within those who would receive Him. What a story. To millions of us, it is still the only one that makes sense, and He is our only source of true hope.
Doug Patton is a freelance columnist who has served as a political speechwriter and public policy advisor. His work has been published in newspapers across the country, such as the Washington Times and the Tampa Tribune, on web sites such as Human Events Online and GOPUSA.com, where he is a senior writer and state editor, and featured on the Mike Gallager and Sean Hannity radio shows. Readers can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
"You might wonder: what's the rush on health care reform?" asks John Shadegg, Arizona Republican. "With little time to review or debate, and with no hope whatsoever to make any changes to the massive government takeover of health care, Democrats are hoping to cram as much junk into their legislation as possible, as fast as possible."
They also don't want you to find out that you're going to end up paying more for your health care insurance, despite promises by President B.O. to the contrary.
"In speech after speech," reported the New York Times on July 23, 2008, "Senator Barack Obama has vowed that he will lower the country's health care costs enough to 'bring down premiums by $2,500 for the typical family.'"
But as Congressman Shadegg points out, "the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) has stated that health care premiums in the individual market will be 10 to 13 percent higher than under current law. That's an average increase of $300 for an individual policy, and $2,100 for a family policy."
"Do your friends and neighbors know their premiums will go up, not down?" Shadegg asks. "Do they know that not only will they be forced into a government plan, but they will have to pay more for what they don't want?"
They won't. Unless you and I tell them. And FAST!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Bernie Sanders, Vermont Senator
I think you'll like it. I did.
When you make it possible for a soldier to make a free call home for the Holidays, there’s no telling what will pass between him and his loved ones. But one thing will be certain. You’ll have done exactly what the Holidays are all about: bringing warmth and cheer to the people who need it most – our brave servicemen and women who miss their families. And to the families who can hear for themselves that Daddy or Mommy is doing all right.
You can’t give out prepaid phone cards yourself. But that’s okay. Every year, the USO hands out thousands of cards to our soldiers so they can call home. We’ve seen the smiles on their faces when they take a card. Sometimes we even get to see the big, wide, silly grins when they make the call.
Just a little contribution goes a long way. A $10 phone card lasts for thirty-minutes—time for plenty of catching up. A $20 phone card lasts a whole hour. Please give whatever you can.
Just do it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
According to a study conducted by the Beacon Hill Institute of Boston for the FairTax campaign, charitable donations would increase by approximately 0.89 percent (compared with the rate of contribution if the current system continues) immediately after the FairTax is enacted and would further increase by 2.4 percent within ten years and 4.99 percent after twenty years.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Monday, December 07, 2009
This article is true and was submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinner. It won first prize.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise." She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll." "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. "Where are her clothes?" Granny continued. "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying,"Hang on Granny! Hang on!" My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, " Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination and found the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot amber to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.