3 years 4 months 
(40 months)

The year is 1911 ---
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1911:

• The average life expectancy for men was 47 years 
• Fuel for the car was sold in drug stores only 
• Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub 
• Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone 
• There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads 
• The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph 
• The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower 
• The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour 
• The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year 
• A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year 
• More than 95 percent of all births took place at home 
• Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! 
• Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard" 
• Sugar cost four cents a pound 
• Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen 
• Coffee was fifteen cents a pound 
• Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo 
• Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason 
• The Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza 
2. Tuberculosis 
3. Diarrhea 
4. Heart disease 
5. Stroke

• The American flag had 45 stars
• The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!
• Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet
• There was neither a Mother's Day nor a Father's Day
• Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school
• Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health!"
• Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic helpThere were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans walk into a fine restaurant ... 




"I'm sorry," said the maître d', as he scrutinized the group one by one, and then barred their entrance saying, "Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai."

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.


"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!" 


He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. 


Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." 


With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.


"But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door." 


"Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client didn't!"

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.

He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They're supposed to help solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.