Saturday, May 06, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You have two cows.
from the Talkmaster
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Yesterday, one of our clients experienced a tragedy and wanted me to pass a special message along to all of my dog loving friends and family. I was hoping you could forward this to your contact list.
Snopes.com is a favorite site of mine for verification of information received in email. If Snopes says that Cocoa Mulch contains theobromine, and that it is fatal to dogs, I trust that Snopes knows what it is talking about. However, as always, it's up to you to make your own informed decision.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
A favor to ask, it only takes a minute....
Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).
This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
f you can read this, you have a strange mind too.
Me again - I found I could read this with only a little difficulty, but then, I've been reading cop's reports for years. Cops are not the best spellers. And I wasn't trying to read my own typos (for some reason, I can't see my own typos!0 :D I can typo with the best of 'em. Any day of the week. I could be on the Olympic typo team.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Fire truck."The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Speaking of unions, the wonderful teacher's unions are getting in on the act. They're saying that children should get excused absences from the schools to participate in these efforts to close down major American cities.
These illegals are telling us that they don't have to play by the same rules our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers played by:
"Following the rules? That's for suckers. We make our own rules. We cross your borders when we want to, not when you give us permission to. We take jobs whether or not we're legally entitled to do so or not, and then we send much of the earnings back to Mexico to prop up our corrupt leaders. Then ... we demand that you legitimize everything we have done by granting us amnesty.
"Manyana? Oh yeah, tomorrow. Well, soon we will be demanding the vote. No, we don't want to be citizens, not if we have to follow your laws to do so. We will want to vote. We'll be paying taxes, so we'll want a say in how that tax money is spent ... and so we'll want to be able to vote for the people spending that money.
"Next? Well, now that you asked, have you ever heard of Republica del Norte? That's right. We're going to want our own country. A separate country located between Mexico and the United States. We'll take California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and part of Colorado. We'll throw in a few of the Northern Mexican states for good measure. We'll have the vote. We'll have the power. And this will be our demand .. our own Hispanic nation. And since we'll be a new nation, we'll then demand that the taxpayers of the United States spend billions of dollars a year in financial aid for our fledgling country.
Read the tea leaves, folks. Study Canada. Study the French-speaking separatists. It's coming here.