Saturday, May 06, 2006

PRAYER REQUEST

According to the weather reports, it is 122 degrees in Iraq right now - and the low will be 111! Our troops need our prayers for strength, endurance, and safety. If it be God's will, give these men and women the strength they need to prevail. I am sorry but I am not breaking this one. Let us pray. Prayer chain for our Military...please don't break it. Please send this on after a short prayer. Pray for our soldiers.

Prayer:

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Prayer Request: When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world. There is nothing attached. Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not let it stop with you, please. Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine and others deployed in harm's way, prayer is the very best one!!!!!

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

I checked with CNN weather to see what the temperatures in Baghdad were right now. It's currently 63 degrees. the high sunday will be 95 degrees with a low of 67 degrees. Monday and Tuesday the high will go up to 102 degrees and Wednesday and Thursday 104 degrees. The lows will range from 70 degrees to 73 degrees. So, while the email is a bit off (probably running around the net since last summer), it's still very warm. In any case, our troops do need for us to remember them in our prayers - high heat or not.
Aint It The Truth!

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am. While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with gas(from SAUDI ARABIA) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day he checked his cComputer (MADE IN MAYLAYSIA) and then Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.
It's An Animal's Life

I said, Go To Sleep!

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from email

Friday, May 05, 2006

For The Ladies

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

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Perspective on Politics and Economics
Part 5

Taliban Corporation

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

Iraqi Corporation

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send audio tapes of their mooing.

from the Talkmaster

Thursday, May 04, 2006

URGENT info for pet owners......

(from email)

Yesterday, one of our clients experienced a tragedy and wanted me to pass a special message along to all of my dog loving friends and family. I was hoping you could forward this to your contact list.

My client was the doting owner of two young lab/golden retriever mixes. Over the weekend, they purchased Cocoa Mulch from Target to use in their garden. They loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden. They set the bag in their yard. Their dog Calypso, decided that the mulch smelled good enough to eat so she broke into it and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical of her when she would get into something she shouldn't?t have gotten in to. She was not acting lethargic in any way. The next day, Mom woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk. Half way through the walk, she had a seizure and died instantly. Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label, upon further investigation on the company?s website, this product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs. Denise (Calypso?s mom) wanted me to pass this information along so no one had to experience the same tragedy she went through.

In Loving Memory of Calypso.

Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey's, and they claim that "It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won't eat it."

True information about the mulch can be found here -
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoa.htm This site gives the following information:

Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman's Garden Supply and other Garden supply stores, contains a lethal ingredient called "Theobromine".

It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff and die. Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks. Just a word of caution ? check what you are using in your gardens and be aware of what your gardeners are using in your gardens.

Theobromine is the ingredient that is used to make all chocolate ? especially dark or baker's chocolate ? which is toxic to dogs.

Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities of theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cacao bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of theobromine.

Please click here to email the manufacturer and request that accurate information about this product be posted on the packaging to avoid further tragedy.

And please include Calypso's family in your prayers. Such tragedy is shocking, made so much worse by the fact that it could have been avoided had the manufacturers taken some responsibility for their product.

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With spring upon us and so many people working in their gardens, I present the above as sort of a public service announcement. I don't pretend to know about the chemistry of the mulch and it's ingredients, but I do know that dogs are very attracted to the smell of chocolate and that chocolate can be toxic to dogs.

Snopes.com is a favorite site of mine for verification of information received in email. If Snopes says that Cocoa Mulch contains theobromine, and that it is fatal to dogs, I trust that Snopes knows what it is talking about. However, as always, it's up to you to make your own informed decision.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
Once a day

A favor to ask, it only takes a minute....

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
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You're still reading? Go...go donate a click
Can You Read This?

f you can read this, you have a strange mind too.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cm! abrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

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Me again - I found I could read this with only a little difficulty, but then, I've been reading cop's reports for years. Cops are not the best spellers. And I wasn't trying to read my own typos (for some reason, I can't see my own typos!0 :D I can typo with the best of 'em. Any day of the week. I could be on the Olympic typo team.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Gas Daze

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first in an (email) series

Monday, May 01, 2006

Skipping a Grade

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"


The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck."The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
Martha vs. Maxine

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Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

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Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

from email

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Illegal Alien Rallies


Again ... they're not immigrants. Immigration is a legally defined procedure. They're trespassers. They're invaders. They're criminals. They are not "undocumented workers." They're illegal aliens, and they're going to show their muscle again on Monday. They plan to flood major U.S. cities on Monday with waves of illegal aliens demanding --- yes, demanding amnesty. That's right. They break our laws, and then they demand that they be excused for their lawlessness. Jorge Rodriguez, a California union official (don't you just love unions!) who assisted in the organization of earlier rallies, says that their goal is to close down Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, Tucson, Phoenix and Fresno. Rodriguez says that they want "full amnesty, full legalization for anybody who is here illegally."

Speaking of unions, the wonderful teacher's unions are getting in on the act. They're saying that children should get excused absences from the schools to participate in these efforts to close down major American cities.

These illegals are telling us that they don't have to play by the same rules our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers played by:

"Following the rules? That's for suckers. We make our own rules. We cross your borders when we want to, not when you give us permission to. We take jobs whether or not we're legally entitled to do so or not, and then we send much of the earnings back to Mexico to prop up our corrupt leaders. Then ... we demand that you legitimize everything we have done by granting us amnesty.

"Manyana? Oh yeah, tomorrow. Well, soon we will be demanding the vote. No, we don't want to be citizens, not if we have to follow your laws to do so. We will want to vote. We'll be paying taxes, so we'll want a say in how that tax money is spent ... and so we'll want to be able to vote for the people spending that money.

"Next? Well, now that you asked, have you ever heard of Republica del Norte? That's right. We're going to want our own country. A separate country located between Mexico and the United States. We'll take California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and part of Colorado. We'll throw in a few of the Northern Mexican states for good measure. We'll have the vote. We'll have the power. And this will be our demand .. our own Hispanic nation. And since we'll be a new nation, we'll then demand that the taxpayers of the United States spend billions of dollars a year in financial aid for our fledgling country.

Read the tea leaves, folks. Study Canada. Study the French-speaking separatists. It's coming here.
A Prayer
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Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."