Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Fair Tax

The FairTax was created by first asking the American people what they wanted out of a tax system, and then having a team of respected economists design a tax system that met those demands. The FairTax replaces the income tax and all other federal taxes with a national consumption tax. The FairTax is levied only once, at the point of purchase on new goods and services. The simplicity of the FairTax frees Americans from our current overwhelming tax code and unshackles the U.S. economy.

The FairTax:

*Abolishes the IRS
*Closes all tax loopholes and brings fairness to taxation
*Maintains our current Social Security and Medicare benefits
*Brings transparency and accountability to tax policy
*Allows American products to compete fairly
*Reimburses the tax on purchases of basic necessities
*Enables retirees to keep their entire pension
*Enables workers to keep their entire paycheck


http://www.fairtax.org/
It's An Animal's Life

Wow....I really enjoyed that party last night...really, I did...yeah, I did.....

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from email

Friday, July 07, 2006

For The Ladies

TO BE 6 AGAIN

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be six again." she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb butt!!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
If all of the women left the country

there would be a stagnation.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Billy Bob's pregnant sister...

was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are just fine."

"After all this time," she says, "do they have names?"

"Yes ma'am," the doctor says. "Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's ...Well, not the brightest bulb in the family pack."

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?"

"The girl is Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew"
Alzheimer's Eye Test

Count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

How many?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

— Robin Williams.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

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Taps

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

Fading light, dims the sight,
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.
From afar, drawing nigh, falls the night.

Thanks and praise, for our days,
'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, neath the sky;
As we go, this we know, God is nigh.

Sun has set, shadows come,
Time has fled, Scouts must go to their beds
Always true to the promise that they made.

While the light fades from sight,
And the stars gleaming rays softly send,
To thy hands we our souls, Lord, commend.
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD , INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!


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You're a Grand Old Flag
by George M. Cohan

You're a grand old flag,You're a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.


Ev'ry heart beats true'neath the Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old flag.

You're a grand old flag,You're a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.

Ev'ry heart beats true'neath the Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old flag.
America
by Rev. Samuel F. Smith


My country, 'tis of Thee,
Sweet Land of Liberty
Of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountain side
Let Freedom ring.


Our fathers' God to Thee,
Author of Liberty,
To thee we sing,
Long may our land be bright
With Freedom's holy light,
Protect us by thy might
Great God, our King.


Thy safeguard, Liberty,
The school shall ever be,
Our Nation's pride!
No tyrant hand shall smite,
While with encircling might
All here are taught the Right
With Truth allied.

Grand birthright of our sires,
Our altars and our fires
Keep we still pure!
Our starry flag unfurled,
The hope of all the world,
In peace and light impearled,
God hold secure!
This Land is Your Land
words and music by Woody Guthrie©1956
(renewed 1984), 1958
(renewed 1986) and 1970
TRO-Ludlow Music, Inc. (BMI)

Chorus:

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me


As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me


Chorus

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me


Chorus

The sun comes shining as I was strolling
The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
The fog was lifting a voice come chanting
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

Chorus

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.

Chorus (2x)
I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy
by George M. Cohan

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy
A Yankee Doodle, do or die
A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam
Born on the Fourth of July

I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart
She's my Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee Doodle came to London
Just to ride the ponies
I am the Yankee Doodle Boy
God Bless The U.S.A.
by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.


I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.


And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.


And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.


From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.


From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.


That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.


And I gladly stand up,next to you
and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.


And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.


And I gladly stand up,next to you
and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt
I love this land,God bless the USA.
God Bless America
Words and music by Irving Berlin©
Copyright 1938, 1939 by Irving Berlin©
Copyright Renewed 1965, 1966 by Irving Berlin©
Copyright Assigned to the Trustees of the God Bless America Fund International Copyright Secured.
All Rights Reserved.
Used by Permission

"While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free,
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer. "

God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.

From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.
America the Beautiful
Words by Katharine Lee Bates,
Melody by Samuel Ward

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!


O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!


America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!


O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!


America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!


O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!


O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!


O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!


O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice, for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!


America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!
Yankee Doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony;
Stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni.

Chorus:

Yankee Doodle keep it up, Yankee Doodle dandy,
Mind the music and the step and with the girls be handy.

Father and I went down to camp along with Captain Gooding
And there we saw the men and boys, as thick as hasty pudding.

(Chorus)

There was Colonel Washington, upon a strapping stallion,
A-giving orders to his men, I guess there was a million.

(Chorus)

And there I saw a cannon barrel as big as mother's basin,
And every time they touched it off they scampered like the nation.

(Chorus)
Prayer for Our Troops

Dear Heavenly Father, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mexican Standoff

I don’t know how everybody else feels about it, but to me I think Hispanic people in this country, legally or illegally, made a huge public relations mistake with their recent demonstrations.

I don’t blame anybody in the world for wanting to come to the United States of America, as it is a truly wonderful place. But when the first thing you do when you set foot on American soil is illegal it is flat out wrong and I don’t care how many lala land left heads come out of the woodwork and start trying to give me sensitivity lessons.

I don’t need sensitivity lessons, in fact I don’t have anything against Mexicans, I just have something against criminals and anybody who comes into this country illegally is a criminal and if you don’t believe it try coming into America from a foreign country without a passport and see how far you get.

What disturbs me about the demonstrations is that it’s tantamount to saying, “I am going to come into your country even if it means breaking your laws and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

It’s an “in your face” action and speaking just for me I don’t like it one little bit and if there were a half dozen pairs of gonads in Washington bigger than English peas it wouldn’t be happening.

Where are you, you bunch of lilly livered, pantywaist, forked tongued, sorry excuses for defenders of The Constitution? Have you been drinking the water out of the Potomac again?

And even if you pass a bill on immigration it will probably be so pork laden and watered down that it won’t mean anything anyway. Besides, what good is another law going to do when you won’t enforce the ones on the books now?

And what ever happened to the polls guys? I thought you folks were the quintessential finger wetters. Well you sure ain’t paying any attention to the polls this time because somewhere around eighty percent of Americans want something done about this mess, and mess it is and getting bigger everyday.

This is no longer a problem, it is a dilemma and headed for being a tragedy. Do you honestly think that what happened in France with the Muslims can’t happen here when the businesses who hire these people finally run out of jobs and a few million disillusioned Hispanics take to the streets?

If you, Mr. President, Congressmen and Senators, knuckle under on this and refuse to do something meaningful it means that you care nothing for the kind of country your children and grandchildren will inherit.

But I guess that doesn’t matter as long as you get re-elected.Shame on you. Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels
April 3, 2006

http://www.multimedia-interactive.com/cdb/view_topic.php?id=1125&forum_id=13

Sunday, July 02, 2006

God is like...

SCOTCH TAPE .... You can't see him, but you know He's there.
Angels Walk Among Us

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the air.
"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
"She struggled to get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
"On where the back seat once had been,"
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
"She did not hear them cry, "
"And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "
Then firemen came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back, "
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
"And was traveling alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
"In beseeching supplication, "
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
"Their jeans are blue to match.""
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car, "
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
"And gave them each a cone, "
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
"I've searched the area high and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene, "
"I guess, and that is very bad."
"The mother hugged the twins and said, "
"While wiping at a tear, "
"He could not flee the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."
"The cop just looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came "
"And left a kiss for you."" "
He told us not to worry
"And that you would be all right, "
And then he put us in this car with
"The pretty, flashing light. "
"We wanted him to stay with us, "
"Because we miss him so, "
"But Mommy, he just hugged us tight "
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
"And told us not to fuss, "
"And he said to tell you, Mommy, "
"He's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
"That what they spoke was true, "
"For she recalled their dad's last words, "
" I will watch over you."
The firemen's notes could not explain
"The twisted, mangled car, "
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
"But on the cop's report was scribed, "
"In print so very fine, "
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
Circle of Friends

We should consider all of our friends a blessing.
Let your friends know you are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.

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A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
But the treasure inside for you to see,
Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.
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TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.

What do humans understand?