You Might Be A Part Of The Taliban If...

...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

...You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

...You have more wives than teeth.

...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

...You've ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.

...You've ever had your camel repossessed.

...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

...You've ever been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

...You think "The Kite Runner" is the funniest book you ever read.

...You've felt the urge to rub one out after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.

...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

...You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

...You wipe your ass with your bare left hand, but consider dogs "unclean."

Government Assisted Health Care

As you might know, I am against the government handling just about anything that the free enterprise system can do. If the government could handle package delivery, Federal Express and UPS, among others, would not exist. Private courier companies would not exist if the government could deliver mail on a timely basis. I'm not sure how more than one prive company could handle the millions of pieces of mail delivered daily, and it's possible the cost of mailing would be higher than the USPS charges, but it's a thought worth thinking about. Maybe some entreprenuer could come up with a plan?

In my opinion, the government handling our health care is a disaster in the making. The only saving grace would be for the government system to insure only those who don't have health insurance and allow those who have insurance through self-insurance, or through employers to retain that insurance.

And the biggest reason to avoid "universal health insurance"? It's socialism.

And we know how well that worked in the Soviet Union.

Here is a link to an article I think is eye-opening.

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

~ A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.

~ A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.

~ From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

~ The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years.

~ During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith

2. From spiritual faith to great courage

3. From courage to liberty

4. From liberty to abundance

5. From abundance to complacency

6. From complacency to apathy

7. From apathy to dependence

8. From dependence back into bondage

Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by:
Gore: 19
Bush: 29

Square miles of land won by:
Gore: 580,000
Bush: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by:
Gore: 127 million
Bush: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Gore: 13.2
Bush: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country.

"Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..." Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the 'governmental dependency' phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegal and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

I received the above in email. I've seen it before and I'm not sure I buy into it, but it does present some interesting food for thought.

In my opinion, I think we're in stage 5, maybe early stage 6. Somewhere between abundance and apathy. There is still plenty of abundance, and yes, plenty of apathy, but I don't think we're yet totally apathic. And I don't think we're really complacent yet, so I think there is still time to save ourselves from ourselves. If we allow it to happen, we're definitely in the complacent stage. If we do because we just don't care anymore, we're apathetic.

The question is: are we willing to put forth the effort to save ourselves?

ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the woman you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Volpe?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.

Media Dishonesty

Here is a link to an Americana Thinker post by Randall Hoven discussing dishonesty in the media. I found it to be an interesting piece and worth the read.

Remember the "truth" we were all told as children about George Washington cutting down the cherry tree? Today, we know it to be fiction told to teach children to tell the truth, but somewhere along the line it became the truth. Who was it who said a lie repeated many times becomes the truth? Or words to that effect.

Mr. Hoven did not include just journalists, but also historians and other "non-fiction" writers in list of 101. In my opinion, journalists (which includes news networks and print corporations) and historians, in particular, should tell the truth, not the truth as they know it or want it to be, but how it actually is. It's particularly heinous that they not tell truth as their words will be forever taken as gospel. Anything and everything will eventually make its way to the Internet and will be there forever, true or not.

Reporters, journalists, non-fiction authors, and bloggers must remember that we owe it to future generations to report the truth, the facts as they are, not how we want them to be.

And for those who don't want to do the research for their books and commentary pieces (and blogs), give credit to those who did the actual research. If you don't know, then admit it. Just don't take credit for work you didn't do.

First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read this. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was
"freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceededto unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down" And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Illegal Immigration Data

I received this email, and against my usual rule, did not verify the facts before posting. My Internet connection has been next to toast for the last week and wanted to take advantage of the fact that I actually have one right now. There are URLs for verification, however.

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year. http://tinyurl.com/zob77

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.
http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from terrorist countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroine and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border. Homeland Security
Report: http://tinyurl.com/t9sht

12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period."
http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin.

http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States "
http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whooping 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR

If you find these fact (true and) compelling, you may want to send them to your congressional representatives.

A Word of Advice for Golfers

Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF!, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" THEN POOF!....she was gone.

After Harry got hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the Pussywillows."

Harry yells back......"DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God sake, DON'T SWING!!"