Saturday, January 19, 2008

South Carolina Primary

With less than 1% of the precincts reporting, it's way too early to make a call. Even Fox is saying it's too close. Wow...I'm impressed with such reticence. Fox seems to think it's a horserace between John McCain and Mike Huckabee. We'll see as the evening progresses.

At this time, McCain is ahead of Huckabee by about 900 votes. Mitt Romney is in third. I'm guessing that Paul and Hunter will be dropping out of the race soon. If not after South Carolina, then after the Florida primary on the 29th.

Rudy Giuliani has been very quiet about his campaign so far. He hasn't done much in any of the early states, New Hampshire, Iowa, Michigan, Wyoming, and now South Carolina. It seems he's putting his campaign eggs in the Florida basket. He has a big base here, but I don't think he's going to do as well as he thinks he will. Florida voters have been watching what's been happening in other states. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Rudy won't do as well as he hopes he'll do. I'm not going so far as to say he won't win in Florida, but I think it will be by a smaller margin than his camp expects. I'm sort of thinking he'll place after McCain, Romney and even Huckabee.

Fred Thompson has pulled ahead of Romney for third. I'm thinking that what we're seeing right now is the way it's going to end. McCain, Huckabee and Thompson.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


There's a big battle brewing over Talk Radio. Liberals want to shut down talk shows such as Hannity, Limbaugh, Imus, Savage, Boortz, O'Reilly, Beck and dozens if not hundreds of others. Why are they doing this? They know that millions of voters listen to these shows and take what they say to heart. These are conservative talk show hosts who are giving you the side that Liberals don't want you to hear.

Well, why don't Liberals have their own talk shows? They tried that. Ever hear of Air America? It was a big thing a couple of years ago and had big Liberal names with their own talk shows giving their opinions about conservative politicians and causes. If you haven't heard, Air America bit the dust, they couldn't keep listeners even in venues such as New York, Boston, Seattle, LA and elsewhere. If you can't get and keep listeners, you can't pay the bills and even the talking heads need to be paid. A few stayed on the air without pay to keep Air America going. I don't know what their finances are now, but Air America is still on the air. A few of the hosts I've heard of, most I haven't. But then, I don't listen to Liberals. I don't listen to Conservatives who continually bash Liberals. I don't listen to anything I consider toxic.

So, what's the problem? It's censorship. Liberals can't get their message out to enough people, and they know that Conservative Talk Radio can, so they want to shut them down. They will use the Fairness Doctrine that will require Talk Radio hosts to present a divergent point of view.

What's wrong with that? Well, I can see one problem. Hypothetical Conservative Talk Show host John Smith wants to discuss illegal immigration. His opinion is that the Federal Government isn't doing enough to stop it. In order to discuss illegal immigration he would have to have someone in favor of open borders. Maybe he can't find anyone (someone who is reputable and knowledgeable about the subject) to come on his show. He can't discuss it. Another problem is that he does get someone to come on his show. The guest takes over the show and makes a mockery of the host, the show, and everyone who believes that immigrants should come here legally. Don't think that can't happen, I've heard it.

Station managers are leery of the Fairness Doctrine because they are concerned it could put the station and station talent in jeopardy of civil and Federal lawsuits. The scenarios I presented above are possible; there are others. I'm sure you can think of some yourself.

In any case, this is censorship. I would not support it if it were Liberals being silenced. It's not right and we have to make sure it doesn't happen. There are many forms of censorship and we have to be on the lookout for it. It can be made to look understandable; even appealing. We must remember: once censorship rears it's ugly head, it will be impossible to stop.

One more thing to think about: who is being censored? Is it you? Is it me? Is it someone else? Why should you care if it's someone else

It might be you tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Interesting Facts

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand; "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Five Principles of a Mike Huckabee Stimulus Package:
Family, Fed, Fight, Fuel, Fair.

I know that the American people are hurting. Traveling this country, I hear their stories; I know that Main Street, as well as Wall Street, is threatened by a weakening economy. But we are all in this together.

We are coming off the weakest holiday shopping season in five years, with consumer spending slowing, housing starts fell in December to their lowest annualized rate since 1993, and foreclosures on subprime mortgages might reach two million by the end of next year. Washington needs to do more to help American families as they struggle to stay in their homes and put food on the table.

Two factors affect Americans' spending. First, they have to have money in their pockets to spend. Consumer spending is expected to grow only 1.6% this quarter, compared to 2.6% in the last quarter of 2007. Second, they have to have the confidence to spend it. When people feel good about their prospects, our economy expands; when people feel anxious, our economy contracts. Washington needs to immediately address both concerns. That's why I am putting forward a long-term plan, as well as a short-term plan, so that we can boost confidence RIGHT NOW, while adding to our national strength for the 21st century. Americans want to work, and they want to work hard. They want to compete, and to compete hard. They want to win.

Now is the time to unleash the economic power of the United States of America. We need a new generation of leadership to take us forward into the 21st century.

There are many ideas under discussion in Washington right now, and I hope that our incumbent officials will take responsible action. But as I travel through the Heartland, I just have one urgent message to Washington: Hurry Up!

Here are the five principles that would guide my economic policymaking on behalf of all Americans.

#1 Family: Focus on Middle Class Families: More Income, Better Jobs, More Secure Homeownership.

- Our economy is weakening and families are hurting; Jobs are being lost, many to offshore companies.

- In Arkansas, I cut taxes on working families; I eliminated the marriage penalty, and cut taxes on savings.

- Too many American families face the real prospect of losing their homes as a result of the ongoing subprime mortgage situation. The federal government needs to immediately begin a second round of negotiations with subprime lenders with an eye toward expansion of the "Hope Now" program. We should strive to find ways to preserve American home ownership.

- I will cut burdensome red tape that drives up the cost of products and keeps employers from hiring more workers or raising wages. We want bosses signing pay checks, not filling out government forms.

- In Arkansas, I signed a bill that would reduce frivolous lawsuits which drive up costs of products and medical care. We need more doctors not fewer; we need more new products, not fewer.

- I believe in free trade, but I also believe in fair trade. We will expect our trading partners to live up to their obligations-everyone must play by fair rules. If you want access to the world's largest economy, don't send us your lead toys or your poisoned pet food. We will not outsource our safety.

- We will also open new markets for American products.

- And there is more: I will preserve and expand President Bush's tax cuts, which are set to expire in 2010; I will ensure higher-education becomes attainable for more American families by making all tuition deductible.

#2 Fed: Work with the Federal Reserve for a Pro-Growth, Low Inflation Economy

- The greatest source of short-term stimulus is the Federal Reserve. I believe that it's time for the Federal Reserve to adopt a pro-growth, low-inflation policy.

- But at the same time, we must always be fiscally prudent. I will make sure that unnecessary spending is under control in Washington. Republicans have lost their reputation for fiscal discipline. As Governor, I had to balance the budget by law every year. I will have my veto pen out in Washington.

- Monetary policy must be aggressive enough to stave off recession, but always mindful of inflation and its tax on our economy.

#3 Fight: Create Jobs as We Build Up Our Defenses and Build Up Our Infrastructure

- I have pledged to increase defense spending to six percent of GDP as President. That's roughly a $200 billion increase. That's a lot of money, but we need it because the security threats to America today are enormous. We need this increase so that we can be safe and secure. However, this spending will also create jobs for vital strategic industries and, in addition, provide spinoffs to the civilian sector.

- America must always be the Arsenal of Democracy. We will build new planes, new armed vehicles, new robotic land and air vehicles, and new ships all RIGHT HERE IN AMERICA.

- After years of war, our heroic warriors are strained to the limit and our equipment is worn out by repeated deployments. I will recruit and train thousands of new troops and bring our National Guard and Reserves back home. We must quickly expand our Army and Marine Corps to help continue our fight against the agents of terror.

- Much of our country's roads, bridges, water systems, sewer systems were built generations ago. Our country is now over 300 million people strong and still growing.

- We need a national mission to return our critical infrastructure to readiness for the 21st century. We don't need earmarks and bridges to nowhere when we have critical needs.

- We can't have our interstate highway bridges falling down, our levees breaking, or our water systems collapsing under our streets.

- As Arkansas Governor, I took our state highways from the worst to the most improved in five years. As your president, I will work with the Congress and we will rebuild our great nation.

- We will build a homeland security fence along the US-Mexico border, and we will build it with American Labor and American Materials.

#4 Fuel: Invest in Energy Independence -- A Great Nation Must Be Able to Fuel Itself, and Defend Itself

- Every Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Coast Guardsman and Marine will earn a Veteran's Bill of Rights. They, along with their families, have sacrificed so much in defense of our Nation. We will not turn our backs on them or their families. One way we can support our servicemen and women in their overseas missions is with implementation of a sound energy policy back here at home.

- With oil prices touching near $100 a barrel and prices at the pump pushing past $3.00 per gallon across the nation, we must remember that these rapidly rising fuel prices put a great strain on the budgets of American families.

- Every time we fill our cars up, we fill up the pockets of Middle Eastern countries. That is going to end. We will have national energy security policy and we will end our dependence on Middle Eastern oil within ten years of my inauguration.

- We are going to unleash the American ingenuity and we are going to conserve, explore and invent our way to independence in energy. Right in Little Rock, Arkansas is the North American headquarters for the largest manufacturer of windmill blades in the world. We will do that all over America and right here in Michigan.

#5 FAIR: Move Toward FAIR TAXation

- My short-term economic policies will move us toward our long-term economic goal: Simply put, America's federal tax system is broken. What we have now is a system that is failing American families and businesses. Our tax system burdens low and middle-income families, robbing them of the chance for upward mobility.

- Our tax system encourages outsourcing of American production overseas and the dismantling of our industrial base. It wastes hundreds of billions in useless tax preparation, paperwork and confrontation. It pits industry against industry, class against class.

- My FairTax proposal allows American workers to keep their entire paycheck, allows American businesses to compete on a level-playing field with their foreign competitors, and brings jobs and investment that are currently parked off-shore back to the United States.

- However, I recognize that passage of the FairTax will not happen overnight. In the meantime, I will eliminate the Death Tax, and seek to reduce counterproductively high personal and corporate marginal tax rates.

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2007 Einstein Awards

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the 2007 Einstein Awards are bestowed, honoring the least intelligent among us.

And this year's glorious Winner

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harareto Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive I D. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time. EEEEWWWWW!
You're Not In The Book!

St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.

"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"

"About three minutes ago."
Thanks For Bouncing My Check

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on I choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:



#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home .
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my
computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
# 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, music noise will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

Your Humble Client

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Dumbest Kid in the World

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer...

"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son... may I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!!"