Helpful Tips from Sally Homemaker

Get Rid of Ants: Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works.

Take baby powder to the beach: Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you're ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

Brown Sugar: To keep brown sugar from getting hard and clumping up...freeze it!!!

from email

Interpreting A Woman's Words

FINE: this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine".

GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

WHATEVER:...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

found here

For The Troops

My friend, Sunnye, at Sunnyeside of the Web, collected a bunch of websites that will take you to a site where you can help the troops (if you need to ask "what troops?", never mind).

The holidays are coming up, although these are great sites for all year long. The troops are there protecting us all year, it's the least we can do for them.

Go over to Sunnye and find something you can do. Sunnye's a great read, so spend some time looking around, 'kay?

Why You Should Never Bring Plants in From the Cold

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him from behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man.

He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted; the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa.

One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.

He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department.

The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street.

The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

That's when he shot her.

YOU HAVE TO ADMIRE HIM

Bill Cosby Looks like New Orleans is waking people up. Cosby is shaking their bed again.

We Can't Blame White People

by BILL COSBY

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't, Where you is, What he drive, Where he stay, Where he work, Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what? And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward: isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something? Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' - or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. We cannot blame the white people any longer.

-------------------

Finally! A true email. Bill Cosby really did make this speech on 17 May 2004, at an NAACP event commemorating the 50th anniversary of Brown vs. Board of Education.

per snopes.com

Test Your Brain

Two shaggy old dogs were walking down the street. Captain sits down and scratches his ear, then turns to Champ and growls, "If one of your fleas jumped onto me, we'd have the same number."

Champ barks back, "But if one of yours jumped onto me, I'd have five times as many as you!"

How many fleas are there on Champ?

Answer next week

Through the Eyes of a Rapist

This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys – please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to almost everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this information is too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hair style. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in th! e early morning, between 5:00 am and 8:30 am.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold outhere", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her andwas so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructoris that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE STUFFBUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE

Will I Live to Be 80?

I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

H.R. 6166, the Military Commissions Act of 2006

The battles in the war on terrorism have left us with the need to evaluate how we should treat terrorists in our military prisons. Undoubtedly a captured terrorist must be aggressively questioned so that information regarding future terrorist plots may be uncovered in order to save lives. This bill provides our military with appropriate guidelines to detain, question and prosecute terrorists who are captured on the battlefield.

The bill passed 253 to 168. Only 34 Democrats voted for the passage of this bill.

These People Vote

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the trunk.

. . . My sister ALSO votes!

H.R. 4844, the Federal Election Integrity Act of 2006

This bill amends the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 with a goal of curbing voter fraud. It requires voters in elections for Federal offices to show government-issued photo identification in order to vote. The passage of this bill is important as we strive to maintain integrity in our voting system.

The bill passed 228-196.

The Measure of a Country

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview.

When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out."

H.R. 6061, Secure Fence Act of 2006

In December 2005 the House of Representatives passed a bill which addressed our illegal immigration issues and called for securing our borders first. The Senate's immigration bill in May this year did not make securing the borders a priority. The Senate and the House were therefore at an impasse. House Republicans are eager to have the will of the people be known and spent much of the summer conducting field hearings among constituents to determine what type of immigration legislation the American public would like to see enacted. Overwhelming support for a border security bill which would aid in preventing illegal immigration was the recommendation given at these hearings. Therefore, in response to these findings, Congressman Peter King (R-NY), Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee in the House of Representatives, authored this bill which places border security as our first priority.

Provisions of the bill include the following:

(1) Authorize the construction of 700 miles of fence along the U.S.-Mexico border

(2) Increase use of technology at the border, such as unmanned aerial vehicles, sensors, satellites, radar, and cameras;

(3) Enhance border infrastructure, including checkpoints, roads, and vehicle barriers; and

(4) Study the necessity and feasibility of building a fence along the Northern border.

The bill passed 283-138. It is worth noting that 131 Democrats voted against the bill.

The Senate voted on and passed this bill on Friday, September 29th with a vote of 80-19. The President has indicated that he will sign it into law.

Life Is Fragile

May the warm winds of Heaven
Blow softly upon your home,
May the Great Spirit Bless all who enter there
May your moccasins Make happy tracks In many snows
May the rainbow Always touch your shoulder
Life is fragile.

Handle with Prayer!