Helpful Tips from Sally Homemaker

Reheat Pizza: Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza.

Easy Deviled Eggs: Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Then throw bag away .

Expanding Frosting: When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

from email

English is a cRAzY Language!

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the buses.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

from email

A Viagra Moment

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

The top ten were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.

Women and Heart Attacks

Another good thing to think about.

This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about ladies and their heart attacks. This makes sense.... the Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals...not cold water... maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to d rink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.

Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.

60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware.

The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says if e veryone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

The Difference Between the Left and the Right

One day, a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I am giving service back to my community this week.”

The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I am giving service back to my community this week.”

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I am giving service back to my community this week.”

The Republican is very happy and leaves the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you card and a dozen different books such as “How To Improve Your Business” and “Becoming More Successful”.

Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I am giving service back to my community this week.”

The Democrat is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the left and the right.

New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for AT LEAST ONE of the following:

______a Bloody Mary
______a Margarita
______a Jim Beam on the rocks
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______a bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At that point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had and don't forget to say a prayer that Our Dear Lord will bless my soul!

Signature: ___________________________

Date: __________________________

DON'T MESS AROUND WITH IT. IT'S PERFECT!

The biggest story since 9/11 is that there hasn’t been an other 9/11. According to our hysterical media culture, everything’s always going wrong. The truth is that we’ve gotten the big things right... Does that mean everything’s perfect? Of course not... [S]ome terrorists will manage to hit us again. But if attempt No. 500 succeeds, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth stopping the other 499. Yet, after the next attack, we’ll hear no end of trash-talk about how the War on Terror ‘failed’.”

—Ralph Peters

A New Direction

The title references a previous post, but in this case, it’s in a new direction in my work life. I work for a local law enforcement agency that until May had contracted to run three juvenile programs for the Florida Department of Juvenile Justice. In May, our Boot Camp closed. In September, Omega Juvenile Prison closed. That left just one program (and it isn’t expected to stay open much longer).

The Sheriff mandated that jobs would be found for all employees working in these programs. No one would lose their job because the programs closed. I couldn’t stay with Youth Academy because my position wasn’t funded through the DJJ contract. I was there because the unit I worked for prior to coming to Juvenile Justice had closed. And guess what? They had to find a place for me. That’s how I ended up at Juvenile Justice.

The problem is, there weren’t any secretarial positions available right now. I wasn’t concerned. I knew none of us would lose our jobs. Remember, I had been through closure before. My only question was: where would I end up? Well, I finally got my orders. I had been transferred from the Contractual Section to the Operations Section as a Control Room Operator.

Huh?

A CRO is two pay grades below my secretarial position. Since this was a transfer I hadn’t asked for, my pay rate would not change (but the grade did). I’ve been working as a CRO for a little more than a month, and I am the highest paid, most senior CRO in the agency (let the Comptroller worry about how to justify my salary). I am a new CRO but I make three times what a new CRO makes. Because of my agency seniority, I can beat out (if I choose) all other CRO’s for leave time or shift bidding. I don’t plan to do so. It wouldn’t be fair to take advantage. I have to work with these people for a few months at the very least, and most likely for years. I don’t want to be disliked or grudges held against me for no good reason.

I admit I had to wonder if the transfer was a punishment. I won’t go into details (it’s really none of your business), but there were some problems in my other job with supervisors (personality conflicts mostly). And because of this my annual evaluations weren’t as stellar as they had been in previous years. So, I wondered. But, thinking it over, I realized that there were worse jobs I could have been handed. And I’ve always believed that the best way to get even is to show the person(s) that you are better than they are. That in the long run, they were only a minor blip on the radar of your life, not worth the time or effort to get even with them. It usually drives them crazy. Especially when they have to call and ask for advice, help, or favors.

I then had two thoughts about this placement. Either, as I really believed, this was the place where they needed a body to fill. Or, that I was placed here pending the possibility of a secretarial position opening sometime in the future and this was just a “holding” spot for me. I could live with either. I chose to believe the third possibility: that God decided that I needed to be in this job for some reason or another. I may never know why, but there it is. If you don’t believe in God, then maybe it was Karma, fate, or whatever Higher Source you might choose to believe in. If you don’t believe in a higher source, then someone in Admin just decided they had to put me somewhere and here I am.

I do believe that I lucked into something good. I’m making good money, I work seven out of 14 days, I get days off during the week so I don’t have to use vacation or sick time for errands or doctor appointments. I don’t even mind the 12-hour shift as much as I thought I would. The downside is that I have to get up at 4 frickin’ o’clock in the morning to be at work for muster at 5:43 am. The job is important in that I am support to the floor deputy, but it is not rocket science. And I am not putting down CRO’s in any way shape or form when I say that. I believe that everyone has an important job. It’s as important as they choose to think it is.

I will be eligible for retirement next September (nine months, 22 days but who’s counting?). I don’t know whether I will retire at that time or not. If I retire then, I will probably have to work at least part time. If I continue to work, I will only be building up that pension amount. I will also have that much more time to build up my other retirement accounts. If I work another 10 years, I will not have to work part time unless I choose to for socialization. It won’t be because I need the money to live on (I hope!).

So, I had to ask myself: can I do this job for another nine months (and 22 days)? Yeah, standing on my head. The next question was: can I continue to do this job for another five years (at that time I have to make certain retirement decisions)? Again, yeah, not a problem, I can do this. Can I do this for five years after that? I don’t see why not. Six months ago, I wasn’t sure I could make it to my retirement and now I'm looking nine months, five years and ten years into the future. Things are looking better every day.

So, life is a series of new directions and new beginnings. I don’t always do well with change, especially when I have little or no say in how those changes will effect me. That’s because I’m trying to run my life instead of letting God guide me through life. Once I remember that He only does what’s best for me, and that I may not ever know the why, I settle in and look for the good.

Why should I look for the good? Why not? I don’t want to live my life looking at the negative. That’s something I try to keep out of my life. Expect the best, plan for the worst and guess what? You usually get the best.

Yep, my work life is good these days.

Pelosinomics

INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY
Posted 10/6/2006

Political Economy: Now that it's all scandal, all the time in Washington, the Democrats are letting their guard down a bit to tell us what they'll do with the economy after they win in November. Maybe we should listen.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has been all over the place talking about what Democrats will do after they win Nov. 7. But it's hard to take her seriously when she promises to "jump-start our economy and reform our economic policy...to address the needs of working families."

Huh?

"Jump-start the economy"? That's what President Bush did in 2003, when he pushed through bold, broad tax cuts to end a slump that began in 2000 under a Democratic administration.

Since the cuts took effect, the economy has added $1.26 trillion in real output, $14.4 trillion in net wealth and 5.8 million new jobs, while productivity has grown 10% and business investment 24%. Since 2000, total consumer spending has risen $1 trillion — nearly $8,000 per household — after adjusting for inflation. The Dow Jones industrial average is hitting new highs.

Then there's the budget deficit, which the Congressional Budget Office reckons will come in around $250 billion. By our calculations, that's about 1.9% of total output. In early 2004, when Bush vowed to halve the shortfall, it stood at 3.6% of GDP.

The fact is — and we're dealing with facts here, not fantasies — this economy has done better than anyone expected, especially given the mammoth hits it took in the months just before and after Bush took over in January 2001. Democrats know this full well, despite their rhetoric.

They know that nearly $7 trillion in wealth was washed away by the stock market's collapse in 2000 and 2001. They also know that business investment essentially collapsed for three years as a result of that market meltdown and 9/11.

And yet, as noted in a new report from Congress' Joint Economic Committee, ours has outperformed every other major industrial economy since 2001. Reason: tax cuts and low interest rates.

What do the Democrats promise to do about all this prosperity? They'll let the tax cuts lapse, socking millions with billions of dollars in higher levies. They'll raise the minimum wage, hurting the working poor and those with the fewest skills and the least education. And they'll extend jobless benefits, a move that in the past has kept unemployment high (but which today, at 4.6%, is below the average of the last 40 years).

They'll also try to impose new regulations across the economy on everything from energy to broadband, punishing industries they don't like and subsidizing those they do.

Worst of all, they'll do nothing — absolutely nothing — to stop the growth in entitlement spending that will start to engulf the treasury beginning in 2009. Their solution as always: more taxes.

And this is just what they'll admit to. Who knows what else is in store.

How sad the Foley scandal has sucked all the air out of the debate over the nation's future.

How tragic that many will now sit this election out for all the wrong reasons. When they wake up to find their taxes raised, the economy stumbling and their incomes falling behind, they'll regret their lassitude. But then it will be too late.

A New Direction For America

It's the day after the elections and a time to reflect. I should have published this email prior to the elections, but didn't. So sue me. You get what you pay for.

By now you've all seen the Democrats' latest campaign slogan:

They call for, "A New Direction For America" !

The stock market is at a new all-time high and America's 401K's are back. A new direction from there means what?

Unemployment is at 25 year lows. A new direction from there means what?

Oil prices are plummeting. A new direction from there means what?

Taxes are at 20 year lows. A new direction from there means what?

Federal tax revenues are at all-time highs. A new direction from there means what?

The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last year. A new direction from there means what?

Home valuations are up 200% over the past 3.5 years. A new direction from there means what?

Inflation is in check, hovering at 20 year lows. A new direction from there means what?

Not a single terrorist attack on US soil since 9/11/01. A new direction from there means what?

Osama bin Laden is living under a rock in a dark cave, having not surfaced in years, if he's alive at all, while 95% of Al Queda's top dogs are either dead or in custody, cooperating with US Intel. A new direction from there means what?

Several major terrorist attacks already thwarted by US and British Intel, including the recent planned attack involving 10 Jumbo Jets being exploded in mid-air over major US cities in order to celebrate the anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks. A new direction from there means what?

Just as Bush had planned and foretold us of on a number of occasions, Iraq was to be made "ground zero" for the war on terrorism -- and just as Bush said they would, terrorist cells from all over the region are alighting the shadows of their hiding places and flooding into Iraq in order to get their faces blown off by US Marines rather than boarding planes and heading to the United States to wage war on us here.

A new direction from there means what?

Moreover, bear in mind that all of the above occurred in the face of the 1999 tech crash, the epidemic of corporate scandals throughout the 90's, and the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks on NYC years in the planning which collectively sucked 24 trillions dollars and 7.8 million jobs out of the US economy even before G.W. Bush had time to unpack his suitcases in the White House.

It's easy for the Democrats to attempt to discredit, disgrace and defame our commander in chief, George W. Bush -- that's what they do. What's not so easy for them to do is to refute irrefutable facts, no matter how they might try.

Do yourself and this country of ours a favor and don't be a mindless sheep or a blind liberal lap dog, bent on hate and blame-shifting simply in the name of hate and blame-shifting. Take heed of reality, use your head and cast your vote wisely in the upcoming elections. The stakes are far too high today, as America's very future, and yes, even its very survival is now at stake.

In truth, the Democrats have no plan for anything except that they hate Bush!

God bless America.

I believe I've written this before, but I don't believe that Democrats hate America. I believe that they love this country just as much as you and I do. I believe that they believe they are trying to make America better than it is even today. I just think they are going about it the wrong way. I believe that they are trying to be all things to all people. And no one, no government, can do that.

Are the Democrats deliberately trying to destroy the America we know? Maybe, in a effort to make it a better America. That is why it's so important to us, the people, to keep watch on our government and make sure they keep or make America what we want it to be. We are the employers and in yesterday's elections we fired some people and hired new ones.

Our job is not over. The Democrats have two years to prove that their vision for America is better than the Republican vision. And we'll go through the hiring and firing process again.

A Child's Truth

With a young child on the stand, the district attorney knew he needed to start with some simple questions.

"If I were to tell you that this pen was red, would that be the truth or a lie?" he asked.

"The truth," said the child.

"Very good!" said the D.A. "And if I were to say that dogs could talk, would that be the truth or a lie?"

"The truth," said the child again.

"Really?" asked the D.A. "Dogs can talk? What do they say?"

"I don't know," the child answered. "I don't talk dog."

From Nov 06 Reader's Digest

Beer Contains Female Hormones!!!

This is serious stuff...Beer contains female hormones!

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

*Argued over nothing.
*Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
*Gained weight.
*Talked excessively without making sense.
*Became overly emotional.
*Couldn't drive.
*Failed to think rationally
*Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

from Boortz

Don't Forget To

Today

It's YOUR Responsibility, YOUR Right, and YOUR Priviledge

If you don't take the Responsibility to extend your Right to vote, you could lose the Priviledge in the future.

“If 9/11 had really changed us,

there’d be a 150-story building on the site of the World Trade Center today. It would have a classical memorial in the plaza with allegorical figures representing Sorrow and Resolve, and a fountain watched over by stern stone eagles. Instead there’s a pit, and arguments over the usual muted dolorous abstraction approved by the National Association of Grief Counselors. The Empire State Building took 18 months to build. During the Depression. We could do that again, but we don’t. And we don’t seem interested in asking why.”

—James Lileks

Poll: In Match-up Between Hillary and Kerry, Most Democrats Would Choose Suicide

Survey Spells Trouble for Dems, Pollster Says

A new survey of Democratic voters indicates that in a hypothetical match-up between Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and former presidential nominee John Kerry, most Democrats would choose suicide over either candidate.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows Mr. Kerry drawing 21%, Sen. Clinton 18%, and various forms of suicide 61%.

“Throwing yourself in front of a speeding city bus” was the most popular means of suicide at 22%, with “jumping off the roof of a really tall building or bridge” coming in second at 17%.

According to pollster Rockwell Pritchard, the surging popularity of suicide bodes ill for both Sen. Clinton and Sen. Kerry as potential presidential candidates in 2008.

“It’s still very early, but even at this stage of the game the prospect of one of those two being nominated shouldn’t be making Democrats want to kill themselves in these numbers,” Mr. Pritchard said.

Reached at his home in Massachusetts, Sen. Kerry pointed out that while he did not do as well as suicide, he still polled higher than Sen. Clinton, adding, “That’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.”

But Mr. Pritchard was quick to throw cold water on Mr. Kerry’s upbeat assessment: “In a head-to-head match-up, a sharp stick in the eye beats Sen. Kerry by a two-to-one margin.”

Elsewhere, reacting to the Pope's recent gaffes about Muslims, President Bush said, "I guess I'm the only person left who's infallible."

Colors

Did you know that colors are associated with color? I'm in the pink! I'm feeling blue. She sees the world through rose colored glasses and so on.

Color can be used to help acheive your goals to relax, give you energy, lift your mood, or to focus on something. Here is a list of colors and the emotions associated with those colors.

Red: passion, activity, excitement; stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing, energy (but too much can be aggressive or confrontational)

Pink: romantic, peaceful, tenderness, harmony

Orange: confidence, cheerfulness, friendliness

Yellow: aids concentration and memory (which is why the original post-it notes were yellow!), optimism, sociability

Blue: tranquility, contentment, trust; or in cooler shades, depressing or passive

Green: growth, hope, health, renewal

Purple: imagination, creativity, inspiration

Just remember, that all colors have vibrant or softer shades that can have a different effect on people. For example, pink is not used in prisons even though it can evoke peace and harmony. It can also cause stress and high emotions. In jails and prisons, this is not a good thing.

If you tend toward a depressive personality, stay away from the cooler shades of blue. I love blue and it calms me down (okay, it pacifies me), but my husband is more depressive and does better with the stronger shades blue. So, as rooms in our house are repainted, we're using blue shades, but in varying shades.

Other colors can be used as accents to the color you choose as your main color. Color is a personal choice and what you want to live with. Have fun!

Thoughts for Sunday

When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away.

My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.

Maybe we should all start looking at others through the eyes of our kids

from email

Just Me Checking In

A minister passing through his church In the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn't shaved in a while.
His shirt was kinda shabby and his coat was worn and frayed,
The man knelt, he bowed his head, then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap,
Each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap.
Well, the minister's suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him,"What are you doing here?"
The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour. Lunchtime was his prayer time, for finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see, because the factory is so far away;
As I kneel here talking to the Lord, this is kinda what I say:
"I just came again to tell you, Lord, how happy I've been,
Since we found each other's friendship and you took away my sin.
Don't know much of how to pray but I think about you everyday.
So Jesus, this is Jim, checking in today."

The minister, feeling foolish, told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime.
Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks." He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar, he'd never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love, and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I just came again to tell you, Lord, how happy I've been,
Since we found each other's friendship and you took away my sin.
Don't know much of how to pray but I think about you everyday.
So Jesus, this is me, checking in today."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him, learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried, but he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious, changed people, were his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed, he voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile;
"The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know, that in here all the while
Everyday at noon He's here, a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me:

"I just came again to tell you, Jim, how happy I have been,
since we found this friendship, and I took away your sin.
Always love to hear you pray. I think about you each day.
And so, Jim, this is Jesus checking in today."

This is too good not to share - So this is me ... Just Checking In

Write It On the Back of Your Envelopes

I think this is a great idea. I will start writing this on front of all my envelopes too.

You may have heard in the news that a couple of Post Offices in Texas have been forced to take down small posters that say "IN GOD WE TRUST". The law, they say, is being violated.

Anyway, I heard proposed on a radio station show, that we should all write "IN GOD WE 'TRUST" on the back of all our mail After all, that is our national motto, and it's on all the money we use to buy those stamps. I think it is a wonderful idea. We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed.

If you like this idea, please pass it on and do it! The idea of writing or stamping "IN GOD WE TRUST" on our envelopes sounds good to me.

from email