Jill Carroll Released

We now know that Jill Carroll, reporter for the Christian Science Monitor was released after 82 days of captivity. Ms. Carroll was kidnapped and her interpreter murdered on January 7th. During her captivity, several videos were released of her making statements against US presence in Iraq.

Those who know Ms. Carroll know what her real sentiments were about the war. Please don't pass on nasty and mean-spirited comments about her statements while in captivity. In fact, don't pass those on at all. They were made under duress.

And please, don't tell me you wouldn't have done what she did. Until you are in her position, you have no idea of how you would react. You know what? I believe that I would have made the same statements she did. I believe I would have said and done anything they wanted me to say or do. It's not being cowardly. It's called "doing what you have to do to survive". And yes, you are running the very real possibility of losing your life anyway. If it comes to that, you know what was in your heart. You know what your real sentiments are. And so does God, and your family and friends.

Save the Earth!!

It's the only planet with chocolate!

The Robin Williams Plan

Well, according to Snopes.com, Robin Williams did not author this plan. Apparently he did say what was added at the end and the entire piece was credited to him. In any case, I wish I knew who did write this piece. It should be given to UN Ambassador John Bolton and read word for word before the entire UN General Assembly. And I think Bolton would be the one to do it!

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Daylight Savings Time

begins tonight (or Sunday morning if you prefer)! Don't forget to turn your clocks ahead 1 hour!

(Spring forward, fall back)

It's An Animal's Life

I really need to get going, but I just can't seem to get motivated

from email

People In Your Life

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or atan inconvenient time, this person will say or dosomething to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

from email

Daylight Savings Time

begins tomorrow night! Don't forget to turn your clocks ahead 1 hour!

(Spring forward, fall back)

When Your Wallet and Credit Cards Are Stolen

Remember that you need to do your homework to determine the veracity of this information. It feels right, and makes sense to me. From email (my comments are in italics):

Finally, someone has forwarded an email to me that is worth it's weight in gold. All of this makes perfect logical sense. (I already practice some of this, but there are a few tips I will be doing). Please pass it on!!!

ATTORNEY'S ADVICE -- NO CHARGE

Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.

1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED".

I do this. A bank employee told me that it was not a recommended idea as the merchant could refuse to accept the card. I advised the bank employee that if a merchant refused to accept my card, I would question whether I wanted to do business with the merchant. I am trying to protect my identity. All the merchant has to do is ask for and look at a picture ID. If the photo doesn't match, they call the cops. Maybe they are afraid that they'll lose a sale?

I feel it's a whole lot easier to fake a signature than it is to provide photo ID that matches the thief's face to go along with the stolen card. For the most part, a petty thief isn't going to even attempt to use the card. Too much work. But, they might sell it to someone who will go to the trouble. I also told the bank employee that if my card is stolen and used I may be able to take legal action against the merchant because they did not diligently attempt to assure the proper person was using the card. I don't know whether this would fly or not, but it's a thought.

3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.

4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a P.O. Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a P.O. Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks (DUH!). You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.

I work for a law enforcement agency and by state law, I'm permitted to use my work address on my driver's license and vehicle registration. Some businesses will use your personal information from your checks for mail lists. So you need to know whether your company will allow personal mail coming to your work address.

5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine (or use your home scanner). Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards. Unfortunately I, an attorney, have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.

I used to do this, but it's not current. Right now, I wouldn't know exactly what was in my wallet. That will change before the evening is over.

But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:

1. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

2. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

We all know that if you report a stolen card within a certain amount of time, you are only liable for a certain amount charged against the card. By showing your diligence in reporting the crime, the credit card company may waive all your liability. I don't know that for sure, but I think I've heard that somewhere. (This is where you don't take my word for what I've written - check it out for yourself).

But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)

3. Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away. This weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.

You can have your bank place a watch on your account if your check book is stolen. You'll have to know the check numbers involved and there might be a fee involved. Banks charge for everything these days, but it's worth the cost for the peace of mind. When I put a watch on my account, I had to tell the bank what checks would be coming through. Now, this was in the days before computers were such a part of everyday life, so things might be a lot different.

Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, etc., has been stolen:

Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289

Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. But if you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone that you care about.

Stop Lying About Tax Cuts

By Herman Cain

Every good liberal will tell you that low tax rates cause tax revenues to drop, hurt the economy, benefit only the wealthy and cause skyrocketing budget deficits. A Wall Street Journal article last week blew a hole in those liberal lies. The Journal reported that federal tax revenues for the first five months of fiscal year 2006 are up 10.3 percent from the same period a year ago. The 2006 revenue growth adds to a 15 percent tax revenue increase from 2004 to 2005. This good fortune for U.S. Treasury coffers is attributed to the steady and growing economy, which is largely a product of the 2003 cuts in income, dividend and capital gains tax rates.

The parallel growth in the economy and tax revenues is not a fluke and did not occur by chance. History has shown us that every time tax rates are cut, federal tax revenues rise, the economy responds positively and the wealthy pay a larger share of the tax bill.

Continue here for rest of Herman Cain's Townhall column. Mr. Cain says it much better than I ever could.

For The Ladies

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

2 POTS

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers.....

Daylight Savings Time

begins this Saturday night! Don't forget to turn your clocks ahead 1 hour!

(Spring forward, fall back)

Trick My Truck

I’ve been watching a series on CMT (Country Music Television for those of you who don’t have cable or have never heard of NASCAR) called Trick My Truck. The premise is that a family member of a trucker who is driving a beat down, torn up, ready for the junkyard big rig calls in and asks CMT and the Chrome Shop Mafia to give the truck a make-over. Now, this isn’t just for truckers who want a nicer looking truck. The episodes I’ve seen involve truckers who have had some bad luck and need a boost of some sort. Duct tape, baling wire, and prayer are all that’s holding these trucks together. Medical bills, no retirement, no money to fix up the truck, and so on. Just like in any industry you know of people who just need a break.

Truckers are the life-blood of the transportation industry. Known as Knights of the Road, they transport everything from one coast to the other, north and south, and all points in-between. They might be local, regional or cross-country. They might truck into Canada and into Mexico, but America could not survive without the services these men and women provide. Remember the days after September 11th? The entire aviation industry was shut down for several weeks. It was the truckers who continued on the road, day after day, transporting what they normally transported as well as what aviation couldn’t.

When they are on the road they live in their rigs and just like you and me, want a decent place to live. My husband was a trucker for several years until his health forced him off the road. He hopes that one day he’ll be able to go back to it again. He loves driving and really misses it. I hope he can; it would really be nice if we could go out together. I’ve even given some thought to getting my own CDL so we can be team drivers.

The Chrome Shop Mafia works out of Bryan’s shop in Joplin, Missouri. They "ambush" the trucker at the local truck stop and, while the trucker is inside, look the truck over. Filming is going on, so they make all the usual remarks about what a pile of junk the truck is and so forth. When the trucker comes out, of course he (and in one case, she) wants to know what these guys are doing. Bryan, the boss, explains that their son, brother, mother, daughter, son, whoever, called in and said they needed help. I’m sure there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes because all you see is that little bit and the trucker turning over the keys. Then there is a short segment with the driver saying they’ve turned over their livelihood over to a group of guys they don’t know and they don’t know what to expect. The trucker is given a loaner rig so they can continue working in the meantime.

The truck is then taken back to the shop where the guys sit around and discuss what they are going to do to the truck. They also give it a name. Inferno, Free Spirit, Open Range, Road Hog, Semper Fi, Ice Breaker, Low Rider and American Classic are the trucks done this season.

And let me tell you, the CSM does a spectacular job! The truck is made over inside and out. Trust me, if you saw any of these trucks rolling down the road, you would know they are not straight out of the Peterbilt or Kenworth factories. They are unique, one-of-a-kind trucks that no one else has.

Bryan is the boss man; he brainstorms with the other guys and comes up with the designs. Scott, the shop foreman, makes sure the job gets done. Ryno can’t be described as anything less than an Artiste with an air gun. His paintwork is outstanding. Rob installs the audio and other electronics. Rob, Kevin, and CB do the fabrication. CMT and vendors donate the materials so that the makeover doesn’t cost the trucker a penny. Even if they wanted to pay, there is no way any of these truckers could possibly pay for what is done to their trucks.

Don’t get the idea that you are going to get tips so you can re-do your pickup or van. First, you probably can't afford to do the equivilent to your vehicle that they are doing to this truck. Second, you see what they guys are doing and how they do it, but there’s no time for giving tips and how-to’s. There's some horsing around, but when it's time to get to work, it's get 'em in, get 'em out, and git-r-done (sorry, I couldn't help it!).

If you get a chance, this is a feel-good show to watch. The reactions of the truckers when they see their made-over trucks for the first time is heart-warming. The are so appreciative and you can see that they love what they do and with a made-over truck, they will be really happy to continue transporting all those things we need across the country.

Thumbs up for CMT and the Chrome Shop Mafia!

THE SENILITY PRAYER

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

AGING . . .

(from email)

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club an and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

An elderly woman decided to plan her funeral and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart

"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down It's too hard to get back up!

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

In Honor of Stupid People. . . Part 6
Actual label instructions on consumer goods



On a Japanese food processor --

"Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)



On Sainsbury's peanuts --

"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)



More to follow

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.

( I have verified through Snopes.com that Ben Stein did indeed write the following essay)

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience,why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

shamlessly filched from here. If I don't give the name, maybe you'll go and visit.

An Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of asix-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author unknown

shamlessly filched from here. If I don't give the name, maybe you'll go and visit.

Martha vs. Maxine

Martha's Way

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Maxine's Way

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

from email

Immigration Protest Rallies

For anyone who has read this blog, you are probably acquainted with my view on illegal immigrants. They are committing an illegal act and should not be in this country. At the very least, they should be deported.

Now before you get your knickers in a wad, I fully understand the reasons people come to America illegally. For the most part, they simply want to make a better life for themselves and their families. I understand and applaud that. That is the very reason my own ancestors came to America circa 1720.

And don't give me that static about my ancestors coming here illegally. They paid their way and came through legal ports of entry in Philadelphia and Virginia. It's true they didn't come through Customs; Customs didn't exist as such at that time.

The protestors are demanding that they receive dignity and respect. I'm sorry, I can't respect someone who is deliberately breaking the law of the land. When illegal immigrants (I will not call them "undocumented workers". It simply implies that they have mislaid their Green card) are demanding the same rights that are accorded to documented workers, naturalized citizens, or native born citizens, we have to part company. And when someone is demanding that I give them respect, I'm sorry, I dig my heels in and say, "When Hell freezes over." Respect is given when it's earned. Someone who deliberatly breaks the laws of this country doesn't deserve my respect. Return to your country of origin, come here legally and I will welcome you with open arms.

I am not concerned that illegal immigrants are "taking jobs away from Americans". Although I am not convinced that they will do jobs that Americans refuse to do. I am of the opinion that if the employer pays an appropriate wage, someone will take the job. I think that these jobs that Americans supposedly refuse are refused because they are so low paying (less than minimum wage?). Illegal immigrants will take the jobs because the employers are willing to overlook their lack of "documentation." I have no proof, but I would be willing to bet that most of these employers (not all by any means) know that they can get illegal aliens to work for next to nothing so they refuse to pay what a documented worker will work for. And these employers need to be prosecuted for hiring illegal aliens, maybe even taking advantage of them in some way. I'd be willing to bet that they don't take out Income Tax, Social Security, health and life insurance and all the rest that honest, legal, documented workers have taken (at force of law) from our paychecks. Their acts are as illegal as the illegal aliens acts.

I am not talking about those who are here because of a political reason - they will be executed or subject to lengthy prison terms if they return to their home country. That's another issue.

I am also not concerned, in the context of this issue, that terrorists can come across the border without documenting their entry. That's an entirely different issue.

No, my issue is with those who cross the border, use our resources, and still get government subsidies that Americans can't get. Many pregnant women cross into America to have their babies so that their baby will be an American citizen. I have questions about the automatic citizenship that goes with simply being born in America, but that's yet another issue. The children of illegal aliens are getting passes to attend college that American kids can't get. American servicemen serving in Iraq have been refused in-state tuition because they have been out of the country, while illegal aliens or their kids not only get in-state tuition, but are getting their college education free of charge or at lowered cost. I have issue with giving Social Security and Disability to illegal immigrants. Unless they have paid into SS, they shouldn't get it. I'm all for helping people, but we have to take a step back and think about what we're doing.

I'm getting away from my original premise: protestors demanding rights. My position stays the same: if you are in this country illegally, you are breaking the law and should have only the rights accorded to the criminal that you are.

As I said before: go home, enter legally and I'll be happy to say "Welcome to America, Land of Opportunity."

DID YOU KNOW?

Every session of Congress begins with a prayer by a paid preacher, whose salary has been paid by the taxpayer since 1777.

Part 8

Some Things to Remember

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me.

3. Growing old is inevitable ... growing UP isoptional.

4. There is no key to happiness. The door is alwaysopen.

5. Silence is often misinterpreted but nevermisquoted.

6. Do the math .. count your blessings.

7. Faith is the ability to not panic.

8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.

9. If you worry, you didn't pray ... If you pray,don't worry.

10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like callinghome everyday.

11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not bebent out of shape.

12. The most important things in your house are thepeople.

13 When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15 He who dies with the most toys is still dead.