Saturday, April 01, 2006
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.
1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
Friday, March 31, 2006
Finally, someone has forwarded an email to me that is worth it's weight in gold. All of this makes perfect logical sense. (I already practice some of this, but there are a few tips I will be doing). Please pass it on!!!
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.
1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED".
I do this. A bank employee told me that it was not a recommended idea as the merchant could refuse to accept the card. I advised the bank employee that if a merchant refused to accept my card, I would question whether I wanted to do business with the merchant. I am trying to protect my identity. All the merchant has to do is ask for and look at a picture ID. If the photo doesn't match, they call the cops. Maybe they are afraid that they'll lose a sale?
I feel it's a whole lot easier to fake a signature than it is to provide photo ID that matches the thief's face to go along with the stolen card. For the most part, a petty thief isn't going to even attempt to use the card. Too much work. But, they might sell it to someone who will go to the trouble. I also told the bank employee that if my card is stolen and used I may be able to take legal action against the merchant because they did not diligently attempt to assure the proper person was using the card. I don't know whether this would fly or not, but it's a thought.
3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a P.O. Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a P.O. Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks (DUH!). You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
I work for a law enforcement agency and by state law, I'm permitted to use my work address on my driver's license and vehicle registration. Some businesses will use your personal information from your checks for mail lists. So you need to know whether your company will allow personal mail coming to your work address.
5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine (or use your home scanner). Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards. Unfortunately I, an attorney, have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
I used to do this, but it's not current. Right now, I wouldn't know exactly what was in my wallet. That will change before the evening is over.
But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
1. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.
2. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
We all know that if you report a stolen card within a certain amount of time, you are only liable for a certain amount charged against the card. By showing your diligence in reporting the crime, the credit card company may waive all your liability. I don't know that for sure, but I think I've heard that somewhere. (This is where you don't take my word for what I've written - check it out for yourself).
But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)
3. Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away. This weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.
You can have your bank place a watch on your account if your check book is stolen. You'll have to know the check numbers involved and there might be a fee involved. Banks charge for everything these days, but it's worth the cost for the peace of mind. When I put a watch on my account, I had to tell the bank what checks would be coming through. Now, this was in the days before computers were such a part of everyday life, so things might be a lot different.
Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, etc., has been stolen:
Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. But if you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone that you care about.
The parallel growth in the economy and tax revenues is not a fluke and did not occur by chance. History has shown us that every time tax rates are cut, federal tax revenues rise, the economy responds positively and the wealthy pay a larger share of the tax bill.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers.....
I’ve been watching a series on CMT (Country Music Television for those of you who don’t have cable or have never heard of NASCAR) called Trick My Truck. The premise is that a family member of a trucker who is driving a beat down, torn up, ready for the junkyard big rig calls in and asks CMT and the Chrome Shop Mafia to give the truck a make-over. Now, this isn’t just for truckers who want a nicer looking truck. The episodes I’ve seen involve truckers who have had some bad luck and need a boost of some sort. Duct tape, baling wire, and prayer are all that’s holding these trucks together. Medical bills, no retirement, no money to fix up the truck, and so on. Just like in any industry you know of people who just need a break.
Truckers are the life-blood of the transportation industry. Known as Knights of the Road, they transport everything from one coast to the other, north and south, and all points in-between. They might be local, regional or cross-country. They might truck into Canada and into Mexico, but America could not survive without the services these men and women provide. Remember the days after September 11th? The entire aviation industry was shut down for several weeks. It was the truckers who continued on the road, day after day, transporting what they normally transported as well as what aviation couldn’t.
The Chrome Shop Mafia works out of Bryan’s shop in Joplin, Missouri. They "ambush" the trucker at the local truck stop and, while the trucker is inside, look the truck over. Filming is going on, so they make all the usual remarks about what a pile of junk the truck is and so forth. When the trucker comes out, of course he (and in one case, she) wants to know what these guys are doing. Bryan, the boss, explains that their son, brother, mother, daughter, son, whoever, called in and said they needed help. I’m sure there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes because all you see is that little bit and the trucker turning over the keys. Then there is a short segment with the driver saying they’ve turned over their livelihood over to a group of guys they don’t know and they don’t know what to expect. The trucker is given a loaner rig so they can continue working in the meantime.
The truck is then taken back to the shop where the guys sit around and discuss what they are going to do to the truck. They also give it a name. Inferno, Free Spirit, Open Range, Road Hog, Semper Fi, Ice Breaker, Low Rider and American Classic are the trucks done this season.
And let me tell you, the CSM does a spectacular job! The truck is made over inside and out. Trust me, if you saw any of these trucks rolling down the road, you would know they are not straight out of the Peterbilt or Kenworth factories. They are unique, one-of-a-kind trucks that no one else has.
Bryan is the boss man; he brainstorms with the other guys and comes up with the designs. Scott, the shop foreman, makes sure the job gets done. Ryno can’t be described as anything less than an Artiste with an air gun. His paintwork is outstanding. Rob installs the audio and other electronics. Rob, Kevin, and CB do the fabrication. CMT and vendors donate the materials so that the makeover doesn’t cost the trucker a penny. Even if they wanted to pay, there is no way any of these truckers could possibly pay for what is done to their trucks.
Thumbs up for CMT and the Chrome Shop Mafia!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
AGING . . .
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club an and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
An elderly woman decided to plan her funeral and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
Don't let aging get you down It's too hard to get back up!
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.
Actual label instructions on consumer goods
On a Japanese food processor --
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Are you laughing?
Monday, March 27, 2006
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
shamlessly filched from here. If I don't give the name, maybe you'll go and visit.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me.
3. Growing old is inevitable ... growing UP isoptional.
4. There is no key to happiness. The door is alwaysopen.
5. Silence is often misinterpreted but nevermisquoted.
6. Do the math .. count your blessings.
7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
9. If you worry, you didn't pray ... If you pray,don't worry.
10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like callinghome everyday.
11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not bebent out of shape.
12. The most important things in your house are thepeople.
13 When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15 He who dies with the most toys is still dead.