Illegal Immigrants Poem

I cross ocean, poor and broke,

Take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there,

Say I need to see welfare.

Welfare say, "You come no more,

We send cash right to your door."

Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,

Medicaid it keep you healthy!

By and by, I got plenty money,

Thanks to you, American dummy.

Write to friends in motherland,

Tell them 'come fast as you can.'

They come in turbans and Ford trucks,

I buy big house with welfare bucks

They come here, we live together,

More welfare checks, it gets better!

Fourteen families, they moving in,

But neighbor's patience wearing thin.

Finally, white guy moves away,

Now I buy his house, and then I say,

"Find more aliens for house to rent."

And in the yard I put a tent.

Send for family they just trash,

But they, too, draw the welfare cash!

Everything is very good,

And soon we own the neighborhood.

We have hobby it's called breeding,

Welfare pay for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?

We get free! We got no bills!

American crazy! He pay all year,

To keep welfare running here.

We think America darn good place!

Too darn good for the white man race.

If they no like us, they can scram,

Got lots of room in Pakistan.

from email - a little over the top, but has the feel of what many American taxpayers think about illegal aliens.

Compare the FairTax, the Flat Tax and the Income Tax
John Linder, US Representative for Georgia

The following is a comparision of the current tax code, the Flat Tax, and the FairTax. If you read the following synopsis with an open mind and do some research, I believe that any thinking person will come to realize that the FairTax is far superior to the current tax code. Is it perfect? Of course not, nothing devised by man could possibly be perfect and of course the FairTax is man-made.

If I had a choice only between the current tax code and the Flat Tax, I would want the Flat Tax. Did you know that the current tax code started out in 1913 as a Flat Tax? Ninety-three years later it has evolved into a convoluted mess that few people understand.

I've attempted to highlight the gist of the comparison, although Congressman Linder has already boiled it down to the nitty-gritty, as my mother would have said.

16th Amendment

*Current Income Tax: No Change.
*Flat Tax: No Change.
*FairTax: Proposes repeal.

Complexity

*Current Income Tax: Very complex. 20,000 pages of regulations. IRS incorrect over half of the time.
*Flat Tax: Witholding continues. Individuals and businesses must still track income and file income tax forms.
*FairTax: Individuals do not file. Businesses need only to deal with sales tax returns.

Congressional Action

*Current Income Tax: Used by lobbyists and the wealthy for tax breaks and loopholes. Used by bureaucrats for social engineering.
*Flat Tax: Has some problems, but is far superior to current law.
*FairTax: 23% Linder/Peterson FairTax Act (H.R. 25). Employees receive 100% of pay. Social Security and Medicare funded from consumption tax revenue, not your paycheck.

Cost of Filing

*Current Income Tax: $225 billion in annual compliance costs.
*Flat Tax: Significant simplification costs are somewhat reduced.
*FairTax: No personal forms are filed. Significant cost savings.

Economy

*Current Income Tax: Taxes savings, labor, investment, and productivity multiple times.
*Flat Tax: Imposes a tax burden some of which is still hidden in the price of goods and services.
*FairTax: Un-taxes wages, savings, and investment. Increases productivity. Produces significant economic growth.

Equality

*Current Income Tax: The current tax code violates the principle of equality. Special rates for special circumstances violate the original Constitution and are unfair.
*Flat Tax: A flat tax is an improvement of the current income tax, but it is still open to manipulation by special interests.
*FairTax: Taxpayers pay the same rate and control their liability. Tax paid depends on life style. All taxes are rebated on spending up to the poverty level.

Foreign Companies

*Current Income Tax: Current tax code places unfair tax burden on U.S. exports and fails to neutralize tax advantages for imports.
*Flat Tax: A flat tax taxes exported goods and does not tax foreign imports to the U.S., creating unfair competition for U.S. manufacturers and businesses.
*FairTax: Foreign companies are forced to compete on even terms with U.S. companies for the first time in over 80 years.

Government Intrusion

*Current Income Tax: Current tax code requires massive files, dossiers, audits, and collection activities.
*Flat Tax: A flat tax still requires personal files, dossiers, audits, and collection activities.
*FairTax: As the Founding Fathers intended, the FairTax does not directly tax individuals.

History

*Current Income Tax: The 1913 income tax has evolved into an antiquated, unenforceable morass, with annual tax returns long enough to circle Earth 28 times.
*Flat Tax: A flat tax just won't stay flat. Starting out nearly flat in 1913, the income tax grew out of control with top rates over 90% until the Kennedy administration.
*FairTax: 45 states now use a retail sales tax.

Interest Rates

*Current Income Tax: Pushes rates up. Biased against savings and investment.
*Flat Tax: Reduces rates 25-35 percent. Neutral toward savings and investment.
*FairTax: Reduces rates by an estimated 25-35 percent. Savings and investment increase.

Investment

*Current Income Tax: Biased against savings and investment.
*Flat Tax: Neutral toward savings and investment.
*FairTax: Increases investment by U.S. citizens, attracts foreign investment.

IRS

*Current Income Tax: Retained.
*Flat Tax: Retained with reduced role.
*FairTax: Abolished.

Jobs

*Current Income Tax: Hurts U.S. companies and decreases available jobs. Payroll tax a direct tax on labor.
*Flat Tax: Positive impact on jobs. Does not repeal payroll tax on jobs.
*FairTax: Makes U.S. manufacturers more competitive against overseas companies. Escalates creation of jobs by attracting foreign investment and reducing tax bias against savings and investment.

Man-hours Required for Compliance

*Current Income Tax: Over 5.4 billion hours per year.
*Flat Tax: Reduced.
*FairTax: Zero hours for individuals. Greatly reduced hours for businesses.

Non-filers

*Current Income Tax: High tax rates, unfairness and high complexity harm compliance
*Flat Tax: Reduced tax rates and improved simplicity will improve compliance.
*FairTax: Reduced tax rates and fewer filers will increase compliance.

Personal and Corporate Income Taxes

*Current Income Tax: Retained.
*Flat Tax: Retained in a different form.
*FairTax: Both are abolished.

Productivity

*Current Income Tax: Inhibits productivity.
*Flat Tax: Increases.
*FairTax: Increases.

Savings

*Current Income Tax: Decreases savings.
*Flat Tax: Increases savings.
*FairTax: Increases savings.

Visibility

*Current Income Tax: The current tax code is hidden, embedded in prices, complex, and incomprehensible. Taxes are withheld from paychecks.
*Flat Tax: The business component of the flat tax and payroll taxes are hidden and would be embedded in prices. Taxes are withheld from paychecks.
*FairTax: The FairTax is highly visible and easy to understand. No tax is withheld from paychecks.

It's An Animal's Life

I'm so fat, I can't even scratch my own fanny!

from email

Illegal Aliens and the Fair Tax

Illegal aliens are not "undocumented workers". For the most part, they have crossed the border without going through Customs, or have come through Customs but their green card has expired. I am not concerned with people who have entered America with the intent to perform terrorist acts. That is an entirely different issue.

The illegal aliens I am concerned with are those who work mostly in the agriculture and construction industries. They work as pickers, day laborers, gardners, housekeepers and maids; any job where the employer is willing to turn a blind eye toward immigration status. They are the women who come here to give birth to an American citizen and then to claim all the benefits of being the parent of a citizen.

I know why they come to America. Most come here because they can make more money in a day here than they can in a week or even a month in their home country. They want to make a better life for themselves and their families. God Bless them for that. It's what any parent wants to do for their kids - provide the means for a better future. And that they think that America is the Land of Opportunity makes my heart swell with pride.

However, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Somebody has to pay the price. And while it's not easy for the illegal alien who has to "fly under the radar" and be careful who they associate with and what jobs they take, they are not paying the full fare for their stay in our country. It's you and me and every tax payer who pays the fare for the illegal alien. Look around your town or city. Is the increase in population due to blackouts (higher birth rates nine months later), people looking for a better job market, or because more illegal aliens have moved into the area? When the population goes up, more services are required. We pay for those services through our tax dollars. Every year your local taxes have to go up because more police officers and firemen have to be hired because of the rising population. More roads are needed or maybe need repair. Your local hospital has increase it's services, more schools have to be built requiring more teachers.

The population goes up, but the tax base doesn't necessarily increase to go along with the rising population. Illegal aliens don't pay property taxes, they don't pay school taxes, and they don't pay income taxes. But they use the services all these taxes provide. Eventually, they will apply (not all, I am generalizing, but I know it doesn't apply to all) for welfare and Social Security benefits. Then there are those who are arrested for breaking other laws and jailed. The inmate population rises every year and more and more are illegal aliens.

Why should we cater to people who are flagrantly, willfully, and wontonly breaking the law of our country and allow them to steal services from us? By allowing them to be here illegally, and then to give them amnesty we are rewarding bad behavior. Would you allow your child to steal money from your wallet and then give them your debit card and PIN number?

I am not unfeeling. I understand why they come here. And I want to help them become citizens. I only want them to be here legally. They can be proud of themselves. They don't even have to become citizens. That's okay with me. Live here, work here, send money home. Just be here legally. If they are legal they can pay taxes and help the economy that way.

And speaking of helping the economy, there is one way that even illegal aliens can pay their fair share. If we lived under the Fair Tax instead of the Income Tax, illegal aliens would pay taxes when they buy food, groceries and gasoline. Just like you and I would.

By being here legally, all immigrants (did you notice I now call them immigrants and not "illegal aliens"?) will be able to avail themselves of what you and I can. Now they are paying taxes just like you and I do.

Under the Fair Tax, we can welcome people from all nations to America, which will truly be the Land of Opportunity. For immigrants and for her citizens.

The Fair Tax. An idea whose time has come.

For The Ladies

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Perspective on Politics and Economics

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

from the Talkmaster

Gas Prices Going Up and Up

Have you noticed gas prices have creeped back up to $2.50 a gallon and higher? I am not smart enough to know whether it's because of higher crude oil prices, free enterprise/competition, or whether the gas companies have gotten smarter about gouging us.

If it is gouging, they have definitely gotten smarter about it. Last summer prices skyrocketed after Katrina and Rita hit the New Orleans to Houston area of the Gulf Coast. A lot of refineries are in that area and supposedly damaged due to the hurricanes. We were told higher prices were because of the hurricanes and higher crude oil prices, but for some reason the prices seemed to go down when Florida Attorney General Charlie Crist began looking into gouging complaints. I noticed it and I'm sure others did too. (Hey Charlie! You're running for governor in November. Do you have any answers for the gas situation this year?)

Gas is something we have to have in our commuter society. Many of us live miles away from our workplaces and not many of us have jobs where we can telecommunte. There is no bus or public transportation from my home to where I work, so I have to have a vehicle to get to work and that means gas to run the car. Not much different from your situation, I'm sure.

Last summer and fall, gas prices were going up a nickle and more a gallon every week. If you have a twenty gallon gas tank and the price goes up a nickle, that's $1.00 more every time you fill up. One dollar. It's probably not going to hurt the budget too much. But you notice it doesn't stop at a nickle. It goes up another nickle the time you fill up, that's another $1.00, and it's now up to an additional $2.00. Still not too bad on the budget. But it still didn't stop. Did you notice that the price might change from the time you passed a gas station on your way to work and on your way home? Consumers started screaming about gouging when the gas prices changed on a daily and sometimes twice daily basis.

I've noticed over the last few months gas has been going up a few cents every week or so. Most people don't notice a penny or two over a week or more and if they do, they might gripe but they don't start complaining about it. It's only a penny or two. It's only worth a grumble and a groan.

Like I said, I don't know why gas prices are going up again, but they are. And we're being awfully quiet about it. Wait till this summer. If you didn't pay $3.00 a gallon last year, I'll bet you do this summer.

Me? I'm gonna buy some gas stock.

Fair Tax for Senior Citizens

You have worked for many, many years and get a pension every month. Under the current tax plan you are taxed on the entire amount you received through the year. If you had a pension of $1000 a month (and I hope it was much more than that), you will be taxed on $12,000. I did my dad's taxes for several years and was appalled that his pension was taxed as income.

Maybe you worked for years and have a sizeable IRA. When you withdraw that money you will be taxed (unless you put that IRA into a Roth account, but most people have traditional IRA's). As I understand it, after a certain age, you will be penalized for not withdrawing a specific amount. I have heard that there is a 50% penalty if you fail to withdraw enough money after age 70.5. So you are both taxed and penalized for wanting to save your own money!

If you are lucky enough to have stocks and/or bonds you are taxed on the capital gains when you sell those stock. Let's say you sell stocks to pay for a medical procedure or you want to take a vacation; maybe you see your stock going down and want to get out ahead - the reason doesn't matter. You will be taxed on those funds. If you put the proceeds of that sale in your savings account you will be taxed at the end of the year. And you will pay taxes on that savings as long as you have a savings account.

Let's think about this scenario: your spouse passes away and you decide to move to a smaller house. You have a small mortgage (or maybe no mortgage at all) and thanks to today's real estate market you have a sizeable amount in proceeds that you put in the bank. It's for you "old age" or for a rainy day or whatever. Good for you! But. Uncle Sam requires that your declare each year how much you have in savings as part of your tax return. And you will pay taxes on that savings as long as you have a savings account. Ever hear that before?

The Fair Tax treats each of these instances the same way. You only pay taxes when you make a purchase. Your pension hits the bank on the 1st of the month. You will pay taxes on what you buy that month. Let's say your pension is $1000. If you spend $500 you are "taxed" on that $500. The tax is paid then and there, not at the end of the year (or rather when you file your taxes).

Under the Fair Tax, you don't pay tax on your pension, you don't pay taxes on stock sales, you don't pay taxes on the proceeds of the sale of your house, you don't pay taxes on your savings account or withdrawals from your IRA.

You will also receive, untaxed until used to buy new goods or services, a prebate each and every month based on the number of people in your household. Not based on your income or marital status, but on the size of your household. As a senior, you will receive a smaller prebate than a young couple with a couple of kids, but then, you will not be spending as much for the basic necessities of life.

As a person looking down the barrel of senior citizenhood, this is a no-brainer.

Frequent Shoppers Tips

When you go grocery shopping, start in the back corner of the store. The grocery store is laid out in a way to entice you to buy things that you normally wouldn't.

Have you ever noticed when you first walk in you smell fresh baked goods and that the milk you came to buy is all the way in the back? Also watch those items on the end of the aisles. They are not necessarily on sale.

Remember to look at the bottom of the aisles for the same product you are purchasing. Most large manufacturers pay for eye level on shelves.

Jury Duty Scam

Most of us take those summons for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of scam has surfaced. Fall for it and your identity could be stolen, reports CBS.

In this scam someone calls pretending to be a court official who threateningly says a warrant has been issued for your arrest because you didn't show up for jury duty. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Sometimes they even ask for credit card numbers. Give out any of this information and bingo!!! Your identity just got stolen.

DO NOT GIVE OUT ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION!!!!

The scam has been reported so far in 11 states, including Oklahoma, Illinois, and Colorado. This scam is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try and bully people into giving information by pretending they're with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their websites, warning consumers about the fraud. Contact your police department if it happens to you. And if your phone has Caller ID and shows a phone number, give this to the authorities.

When William Joined the Army.....

he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

In Honor of Stupid People . . . Part 7

Actual label instructions on consumer goods

On an American Airlines packet of nuts --

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume --

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

More to follow

Senior Citizen Test

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (if you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answers next week. If you remember to come back. And if you remember what you came back to look for. And if I remember to post them!

Bachelors Anonymous

The British have an organization that Americans are now considering adopting. It seems that in England, they have a men's club, Bachelors Anonymous.

It's highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage. The club provides a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. Seems they send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

Egotistical Harry

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.

"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."

"Yeah, he batted .007," his wife added.

Martha vs. Maxine

Martha's Way

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Maxine's Way

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Did you Remember?

to change your clocks either before you went to bed last night or sometime today? Daylight savings time started at 2:00 am this morning.

If you didn't, go change them now. Turn your clocks ahead one hour (Spring forward, Fall back)

FLASH

On this coming Wednesday, at TWO Minutes and THREE Seconds after1:00a.m. (0100 military time) in the morning, the time and date will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06

That won't ever happen again for another THOUSAND YEARS!

from email

If God Had a Refrigerator

your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He could live anywhere in the universe and He chose your heart.

Think about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem, not to mention that Friday at Calvary.

Face it--He's crazy about you.

DID YOU KNOW?

Thomas Jefferson worried that the Courts would overstep their authority and instead of interpreting the law would begin making law - an oligarchy - the rule of few over many.

Part 9