Saturday, December 05, 2009

Tiger Woods

I know it's not a Christmas thing, but I just couldn't resist...

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Did You Know?

Even a small increase in national interest rates has a big impact. An increase of one percentage point in the Treasury’s average cost of borrowing would cost American taxpayers an extra $80 billion this year — about equal to the combined budgets of the Department of Energy and the Department of Education.

Source: The New York Times

The independence of our nation began first as a tax protest in Boston Harbor. “No taxation without representation!” That protest evolved into something much greater: an American political philosophy that no government “gives” rights to people but that people are born with unalienable rights and actually should be able to decide, by mutual consent, how much power government should be given.

The founding fathers' promise that our great experiment in democracy would be based upon the rights and freedoms of our citizens and the consent of the governed is being tested right now in the people’s ability to affect the public policy decisions of their elected leaders. Unheard of levels of debt now require the future taxation of generations of Americans not yet born. To many, this is taxation without representation all over again. Like the Boston Harbor protest, the test of whether the American public can have a strong voice in the direction of our government is again beginning as a tax protest these many years later.

Every taxpayer knows, as do many in Washington, that the income tax system, once expressly forbidden by our founders, is broken. It is broken because the growing powers of government and the increasing focus on what is best for those in and around government has eclipsed the will and the best interests of the people and the nation. The income tax system has become a baldly political auction of the tax code, irrespective of the national interest, to a cadre of well-paid lobbyists, something seemingly beyond the reform reach of ordinary Americans. This must change.

Too many American have become numb to the fact that hundreds of billions of dollars are spent annually to comply with an almost indecipherable federal tax law. We grimly chuckle when we learn that not even the IRS can answer taxpayer questions correctly. We routinely celebrate when a fraction of what is withheld from our weekly paychecks is returned to us in the months after filing our returns. And we have thrown up our hands in disbelief and wonderment that the tax code has made debt more favorable than wealth, married couples taxed at a higher rate than singles living together and foreign producers more favored than those made in the U.S.A.

The FairTax has the potential to unify all Americans, regardless of political philosophy or party affiliation, against the self-dealing of Congress. The merits of the FairTax can appeal to constituencies across the political spectrum because in one transparent and simple system, every worker takes home their entire paycheck, huge new investment flows into the economy and the cost of the government becomes visible once again—and connected to citizen’s earnings.

The fact that illegal immigrants, the underground economy and even 30-40 million foreign visitors a year would be supporting the federal government when they purchase goods and services and the fact that the FairTax ends taxes on Social Security earnings as well as the dreaded April 15th filing panic makes the FairTax a potent rallying cry.

The events at Boston Harbor played an important role in the first American tax revolt. Those events led to the creation of a nation now called The United States of America. The FairTax can be, should be, and will the rallying cry for the second American revolution—this one will restore much what we have lost in recent times.

FairTax on Twitter

It's FairTax Friday - look at your paystub!

FairTax lowers true cost of new American cars & removes the subsidy on foreign made cars, how's that for auto industry stimulus?! InFairTax (via@FairTaxIndiana)

note: on occassion, I've used Twitlonger to get the entire tweet.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Mistletoe on

Mistletoe on
By Michael Barone
December 3, 2009

"What have you done for me lately?" It's a question that voters implicitly ask politicians, especially ones they have supported and who are seeking their votes again. And it's a question that young voters in particular may be asking Barack Obama, whom they supported by a 66 percent to 32 percent margin 13 months ago.

It's a question that is obviously on the minds of some thoughtful Democrats. They've noticed that unemployment among the young is well above the national average -- it reached 27.6 percent among those ages 16 to 19 in October.

They've noticed that an increasing number of young people -- about half of those between ages 18 and 24 -- are still living in their parents' homes. They've noticed that entry-level work is scarce, as older workers cling to their jobs.

So they're urging the Obama administration and the Democratic Congress to do something to help young people. But they seem to be having a hard time coming up with solutions that match the scope of the problem.

For example, John Podesta, chief of staff in the Clinton White House and head of the Center for American Progress, urges in Politico that Congress make a "strategic investment" in expanding AmeriCorps, Volunteers in Service to America and Youth Corps.

He argues forcefully that these programs help communities and provide valuable work experience for those enrolled. He says the expansion he proposes would cost less than $1.5 billion -- small change in today's Washington.

But he's only proposing to create 150,000 jobs, a drop in the bucket when something like 3,000,000 Americans under 30 are unemployed.

Morley Winograd and Michael Hais, co-authors of the insightful "Millennial Makeover," also want government to do more for young people. Writing on the Website, they endorse proposals for creating internships, loan forgiveness programs and "mission critical" jobs in such fields as health care, cyber-security and the environment. Plus, "increased entrepreneurial resources (should) be made available to youth."

All that sounds kind of nifty, but it leaves many questions unanswered, starting with the price tag -- and whether government can readily create work that is useful in the real world. The experience of the Comprehensive Employment and Training Act (CETA) program, put out of its misery in the recession year of 1982, is not encouraging.

Neither is the precedent of the New Deal jobs programs of the 1930s. Then, talented administrators like Harry Hopkins employed millions in a matter of months. But that would be impossible with the encumbrances of today's civil service, due process, civil rights and environmental rules, even if Barack Obama could find someone as able as Hopkins.

The uncomfortable reality is that creating many millions of useful, interesting, psychically rewarding new jobs is something only the private sector can do. And it does it, as we saw during the prosperous quarter-century from 1983 to 2007, in ways that government planners are unable to predict.

In the meantime, the big-government policies of the Obama administration and the Democratic Congress have worked to stifle private-sector job creation. A large share of the $787 billion stimulus package has gone to keep current state and local public sector employees on the payroll (and paying union dues). That does nothing for young people seeking work.

In addition, the Democrats' health care bills would raise the cost of health insurance for young Americans, who would in effect be subsidizing their elders. And the staggering federal deficits that, according to the Congressional Budget Office, loom as far as the eye can see will mean more national debt that young Americans will have to pay off.

Barack Obama in his autobiographies records how he spurned private-sector work and opted instead for community organizing and political office. Public-sector careers can provide good incomes and the satisfaction of doing useful work -- but only for a comparative few. A vibrant and competent public sector depends on a vibrant and competent, and much larger, private sector.

Encouraging the growth of the private sector did not seem to be a problem when Obama began his campaign in February 2007, when unemployment was at 4.5 percent. It is certainly a problem now, with unemployment at 10.2 percent. Thoughtful Democrats can see that their party has not done much lately for the young voters, who provided 80 percent of their victory margin in 2008. But they're having trouble figuring out what to do.


Michael Barone is senior political analyst for The Washington Examiner.


By Christopher G. Adamo
December 3, 2009

Outrage over the suppressed data refuting "global warming" at the East Anglia Institute in England, now spans the world. Though as a result of a liberal media "blackout," news of the event currently remains primarily confined among the intellectually honest participants in the climate debate. Nevertheless, with each passing day, ever increasing numbers of common citizens are realizing that every aspect of their lives, from the nature of the vehicles they own to the type of lighting that will be "allowed" them by their beneficent government, is being dictated by a hoax bearing no more substance than the "Bermuda Triangle."

Yet the global warming hucksters continue, as if the cooked and contrived data records and suppression of inconvenient facts debunking the motion of rising global temperatures were never uncovered. These eco-alarmists are compelled to do so. They have too much invested in this fraud, and it has been far too lucrative for them in the past to simply abandon it merely because it has been wholly discredited. But their seemingly confident public front belies an undercurrent of panic and desperation. Keep a straight face, continue demanding "funds" for further research and advocacy, and hope for a perpetuation of the revolving door of government monies and increased political power to continue business as usual.

Barack Obama is attending the Copenhagen climate summit on that very premise. Were he actually concerned with the best interests of this country, he would immediately empanel an investigative team to determine the truth of "climate change." But in light of the recently publicized evidence, such a course would certainly find "global warming" to be a myth, and thus would dispel the incentives for bigger and more powerful governments to invade and manage every detail of the lives of their citizenry. And such a world, in which the state acquires unbridled power, has emerged as the true Obama agenda.

When a political movement uses lies and fraud to advance a stated cause, it should be self-evident that the "cause" is of no real concern, but only a means of gaining leverage for an ulterior agenda. Such is the only plausible conclusion that can be drawn from this revelation of total fraud at the highest levels of the "global warming" advocacy.

Even a cursory examination of liberalism, and how it has operated in this country over the past several decades, indicates that massive deception is the standard weaponry by which the movement advances. But though the brazen dishonesty is outrageous and infuriating, it also represents the "soft underbelly" of this incursion. For at the moment each ruse is exposed, even with the frustration of competing against a thoroughly corrupted nightly news, its principal members are compelled to run for cover.

The "sting" operation of James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles, who uncovered widespread corruption in the leftist organization ACORN some months ago, is a sterling example. O'Keefe and Giles, private citizens who received no funds or backing for their effort, took on a well-funded and well-connected organization that has successfully conducted election fraud and other illicit activity on a massive scale throughout the nation. The result was that ACORN was put to flight, and lost significant congressional funding (Though Eric Holder, the similarly corrupted U.S. Attorney General, now contends that the organization is entitled to some of those funds.).

Who can forget the fraud from the left during the 2004 presidential election? CBS news producer Mary Mapes along with Bill Burkett, brought to national attention a supposed letter from one of George Bush's superior officers, disparaging his conduct when he was in the Texas Air National Guard,. Upon a cursory investigation, that letter turned out to be as phony as the mass extinction of polar bears. By liberal standards, Bush's behavior while in the military was being judged on the basis of a blatant fabrication.

Meanwhile, across the aisle, Massachusetts Senator John Kerry was campaigning against Bush as a great hero of the Vietnam War. Kerry's record of receiving three Purple Hearts for battlefield "injuries," during barely four months of service, was hardly questioned by the liberal media. Nevertheless, a group Kerry's compatriots, who knew the truth of his "deeds," banded together and formed the "Swiftboat Veterans For Truth." This organization proceeded to disseminate a strikingly different account of Kerry's real performance during his brief tour of duty.

As disinterested as were the major media players in any serious examination of Kerry's record, they immediately sought to undermine and discredit the Swiftboat Veterans. To this day, "Swiftboating" is used by the left as synonymous with character assassination through the orchestrated telling of lies. Unfortunately for the left however, this situation presents them a problem.

Regardless of how fiercely they attacked the Swiftvets, no evidence whatsoever of inaccuracies in their accounts of the Kerry Vietnam tour could be established. In fact, it was Kerry who insisted on clearing his record, but never made the effort to get the truth out. In fact, his military records remain sealed to this day.

So it will be with the burgeoning "climate change" scandal. The evidence of a methodically implemented scam is ample, and being widely distributed throughout the world. Those on the "inside" who perpetrated this, the biggest fraud in history, will continue to make their claims as if the truth was never uncovered. Any who question the veracity of such claims will be demeaned and ridiculed, in hopes that they will simply get discouraged and eventually go away.

However, this is not the world of the statist propaganda monopolies of the past. The ability of common citizens to link up and share news of this nature, despite the derision of the political "establishment" and its media lackeys, has completely altered the manner in which these battles are fought. The left is on the run. And as is invariably the case, it is running from the truth.


Christopher G. Adamo has been active in Wyoming politics for many years and is a managing partner in Best American Buy (, an e-commerce business that markets American made products including the incomparable Abigail Adams Bedspread Set from Bates Mills. Contact information for Chris Adamo, and his archives, can be found at

Wednesday, December 02, 2009


This is what is coming with Government Health Care. This gives you scary insight into what is in those two thousand plus pages of the Health Care Reform Bill.

It is very troubling and can give you nightmares!

An Indianapolis doctor's letter to Sen. Bayh about the Bill (Note: Dr. Stephen E. Frazer, MD practices as an anesthesiologist in Indianapolis, IN)

Here is a letter I sent to Senator Bayh. Feel free to copy it and send it around to all other representatives. -- Stephen Fraser

July 23, 2009

Senator Bayh,

As a practicing physician I have major concerns with the health care bill before Congress. I actually have read the bill and am shocked by the brazenness of the government's proposed involvement in the patient-physician relationship. The very idea that the government will dictate and ration patient care is dangerous and certainly not helpful in designing a health care system that works for all. Every physician I work with agrees that we need to fix our health care system, but the proposed bills currently making their way through congress will be a disaster if passed.

I ask you respectfully and as a patriotic American to look at the following troubling lines that I have read in the bill. You cannot possibly believe that these proposals are in the best interests of the country and our fellow citizens.

Page 22 of the HC Bill: Mandates that the Govt will audit books of all employers that self-insure!!

Page 30 Sec 123 of HC bill: THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get.

Page 29 lines 4-16 in the HC bill: YOUR HEALTH CARE IS RATIONED!!!

Page 42 of HC Bill: The Health Choices Commissioner will choose your HC benefits for you. You have no choice!

Page 50 Section 152 in HC bill: HC will be provided to ALL non-US citizens, illegal or otherwise.

Page 58 HC Bill: Govt will have real-time access to individuals' finances & a 'National ID Health card' will be issued!

Page 59 HC Bill lines 21-24: Govt will have direct access to your bank accounts for elective funds transfer.

Page 65 Sec 164: Is a payoff subsidized plan for retirees and their families in unions & community organizations: (ACORN).

Page 84 Sec 203 HC bill: Govt mandates ALL benefit packages for private HC plans in the 'Exchange.'

Page 85 Line 7 HC Bill: Specifications of Benefit Levels for Plans -- The Govt will ration your health care!

Page 91 Lines 4-7 HC Bill: Govt mandates linguistic appropriate services. (Translation: illegal aliens.)

Page 95 HC Bill Lines 8-18: The Govt will use groups (i.e. ACORN & Americorps to sign up individuals for Govt HC plan.

Page 85 Line 7 HC Bill: Specifications of Benefit Levels for Plans. (AARP members - your health care WILL be rationed!)

Page 102 Lines 12-18 HC Bill: Medicaid eligible individuals will be automatically enrolled in Medicaid. (No choice.)

Page 124 lines 24-25 HC: No company can sue GOVT on price fixing. No "judicial review" against Govt monopoly.

Page 127 Lines 1-16 HC Bill: Doctors/ American Medical Association - The Govt will tell YOU what salary you can make.

Page 145 Line 15-17: An Employer MUST auto-enroll employees into public option plan. (NO choice!)

Page 126 Lines 22-25: Employers MUST pay for HC for part-time employees AND their families. (Employees shouldn't get excited about this as employers will be forced to reduce its work force, benefits, and wages/salaries to cover such a huge expense.)

Page 149 Lines 16-24: ANY Employer with payroll 401k & above who does not provide public option will pay 8% tax on all payroll! (See the last comment in parenthesis.)

Page 150 Lines 9-13: A business with payroll between $251K & $401K who doesn't provide public option will pay 2-6% tax on all payroll.

Page 167 Lines 18-23: ANY individual who doesn't have acceptable HC according to Govt will be taxed 2.5% of income.

Page 170 Lines 1-3 HC Bill: Any NONRESIDENT Alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay.)

Page 195 HC Bill: Officers & employees of the GOVT HC Admin.. will have access to ALL Americans' finances and personal records.

Page 203 Line 14-15 HC: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." (Yes, it really says that!)

Page 239 Line 14-24 HC Bill: Govt will reduce physician services for Medicaid Seniors. (Low-income and the poor are affected.)

Page 241 Line 6-8 HC Bill: Doctors: It doesn't matter what specialty you have trained yourself in -- you will all be paid the same! (Just TRY to tell me that's not Socialism!)

Page 253 Line 10-18: The Govt sets the value of a doctor's time, profession, judgment, etc. (Literally-- the value of humans.)

Page 265 Sec 1131: The Govt mandates and controls productivity for "private" HC industries.

Page 268 Sec 1141: The federal Govt regulates the rental and purchase of power driven wheelchairs.

Page 272 SEC. 1145: TREATMENT OF CERTAIN CANCER HOSPITALS - Cancer patients - welcome to rationing!

Page 280 Sec 1151: The Govt will penalize hospitals for whatever the Govt deems preventable (

Page 298 Lines 9-11: Doctors: If you treat a patient during initial admission that results in a re-admission -- the Govt will penalize you.

Page 317 L 13-20: PROHIBITION on ownership/investment. (The Govt tells doctors what and how much they can own!)

Page 317-318 lines 21-25, 1-3: PROHIBITION on expansion. (The Govt is mandating that hospitals cannot expand.)

Page 321 2-13: Hospitals have the opportunity to apply for exception BUT community input is required. (Can you say ACORN?)

Page 335 L 16-25 Pg 336-339: The Govt mandates establishment of outcome-based measures. (HC the way they want -- rationing.)

Page 341 Lines 3-9: The Govt has authority to disqualify Medicare Advance Plans, HMOs, etc. (Forcing people into the Govt plan)

Page 354 Sec 1177: The Govt will RESTRICT enrollment of 'special needs people!' Unbelievable!

Page 379 Sec 1191: The Govt creates more bureaucracy via a "Tele-Health Advisory Committee." (Can you say HC by phone?)

Page 425 Lines 4-12: The Govt mandates "Advance-Care Planning Consult." (Think senior citizens end-of-life patients.)

Page 425 Lines 17-19: The Govt will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. (And it's mandatory!)

Page 425 Lines 22-25, 426 Lines 1-3: The Govt provides an "approved" list of end-of-life resources; guiding you in death. (Also called 'assisted suicide.')

Page 427 Lines 15-24: The Govt mandates a program for orders on "end-of-life." (The Govt has a say in how your life ends!)

Page 429 Lines 1-9: An "advanced-care planning consultant" will be used frequently as a patient's health deteriorates.

Page 429 Lines 10-12: An "advanced care consultation" may include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. (AN ORDER TO DIE FROM THE GOVERNMENT?!?)

Page 429 Lines 13-25: The GOVT will specify which doctors can write an end-of-life order. (I wouldn't want to stand before God after getting paid for THAT job!)

Page 430 Lines 11-15: The Govt will decide what level of treatment you will have at end-of-life! (Again -- no choice!)

Page 469: Community-Based Home Medical Services = Non-Profit Organizations. (Hello? ACORN Medical Services here!?!)

Page 489 Sec 1308: The Govt will cover marriage and family therapy. (Which means Govt will insert itself into your marriage even.)

Page 494-498: Govt will cover Mental Health Services including defining, creating, and rationing those services.

Senator, I guarantee that I personally will do everything possible to inform patients and my fellow physicians about the dangers of the proposed bills you and your colleagues are debating.

Furthermore, if you vote for a bill that enforces socialized medicine on the country and destroys the doctor-patient relationship, I will do everything in my power to make sure you lose your job in the next election.


Stephen E. Fraser, MD
Santa Baby

In case you'd like more information about this song, here's a link to Wikipedia.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

No Santa? Ridiculous!

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted.... "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

”Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my Second World-famous cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything.

As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

“Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a goodwinter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were, ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May you always have Love to share, Health to spare and Friends that care. And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

Monday, November 30, 2009

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

--Thomas Jefferson
A Funny Thing, The English Language - Part 3

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”.
It”s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, is time to shut UP!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Funny Thing, The English Language - Part 2

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick"' rhyme with "quick"?