Pass the Butter

From email. This is interesting.

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter? Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in otherfoods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine..

Very high in Trans fatty acids.
Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it

Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter them up")!

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According to Snopes.com, parts of this email are true, parts are false, and some statements are meaningless. This is an interesting email, but you must read the Snopes article to get all the facts.

OLD LADIES ROCK

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.

He whispered, "I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME WITH. YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY."

The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her.

As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY."

IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince.

THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS.

SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS.

NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?

COME ON GUESS!

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON -- DON'T BE A POOP!

*

*

*

*

*

SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST HOLIDAY INN SHE COULD FIND!!!

She's old.......NOT DEAD!!!!!

OLD LADIES ROCK!

Illegal Entitlement Is Not An Option

By Herman Cain

The movement to grant amnesty and eventual U.S. citizenship to some 12 million illegal aliens has turned the issue from the sounds of silence to the sounds of entitlement.

The entitlement mentality did not begin in America, but it has flourished here in the last century. The American claim on entitlements to health care, retirement income and seemingly any "right" one can conceive was birthed from the womb of Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal, reared by Kennedy's New Frontier and came of age in Johnson's Great Society. U.S. citizens, fanned by the flames of those who encourage class warfare, are increasing their demands for government-redistributed income and programs that guarantee outcomes, not opportunities. Non-citizens are now voicing the sounds of entitlement to an easy road to citizenship.

Click here to read more

Why Computers Sometimes Crash!

By Dr. Seuss.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Friends

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you that there really is an

unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

Be nice & pass this rose on to others -- May we all be loved so much.

The FairTax Calculator

Here is a link to find out what your Federal Tax obligations would be under the FairTax. You will need to know what your income is and what your taxes were for 2005. Since you just filed your taxes, you should know these things.

I also saw it here.

You might be surprised.

I'm planning a series of monthly articles on the FairTax on the 15th of each month. Why the 15th? Because April 15th is Tax Day, of course.

It's An Animal's Life

These morning walks are killing me!

from email

For The Ladies

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

Perspective on Politics and Economics

Europe - Part 3

French Corporation

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.

German Corporation

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

Italian Corporation

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.

Russian Corporation

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

from the Talkmaster

Fun Game

Got this game in email. Sorta fun, sorta creepy. Some of the answers were right on target, others, well, let's just say questionable. But it might have been my frame of mind ;D

In any case, it's to have fun, nothing more.

1. On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers 1 through 11 in a column on the left.

2. Next to numbers 1 and 2 write down any 2 numbers you want. do you have a favorite number?

3. Beside the numbers 3 and 7, write down the names of two members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name, life friends and family, next to numbers 4, 5, and 6.

5. Write down 4 song titles in 8, 9, 10, and 11.

6. Finally, make a wish

Key to the Game

1. The number of people you must tell about this game is found on line number 2.

2. The person whose name you wrote on line 3 is the one you love.
3. The person you like, but your relationship cannot work, is on line 7.

4. You care most about the person whose name you wrote on line 4.

5. The person you named on line 5, knows you very well.

6. The person you named on line 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song on line 8, is the song that matches the person on line 3

8. The title on line 9 is the song for the person on line 7.

9. The song on line 10 is the song that tells you most about your mind.

10. The song on line 11 tells you how you feel about life.

11. The number on line 1 is your lucky number.

Now the email says that you have to send a copy of this to at least the number of people you entered in space number 2 to make your wish come true. That's up to you. It also says if you don't do this within an hour, your luck will only get worse.

What you do is up to you. I suggest you treat this as a fun test for yourself. If you are superstitious, go ahead and cut and paste into your email and send along.

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God and I didn't.

Another Senior Citizen Test

1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

2. If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

3. Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 . Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

4. Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, and Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answers next week

Thank Cousin Buddie for these tests :D

Bounce This Along

My mail carrier told me that the US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets. To keep yellow-jackets away. Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.

(Before you use any of these ideas, please read to the bottom of the post and see what Snopes has to say - ed.)

1. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.

2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.

4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.

6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.

8. To freshen the air in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

12. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.

14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds witha sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

22. Quick, bounce this on within the next 5 minutes! Nothing will happen if you don't, but your friends will be glad to hear these hints.

From email. I checked this out at Snopes.com. From Snopes:

Classifying as "True" or "False" items which enumerate the many wonderful uses to which a particular household product can be put is always problematic, for a couple of reasons:

*Many household products will do at least a passable job in a variety of uses other than the ones for which they are primarily intended, so such claims are hardly remarkable or unique.

*Products designed for particular uses are generally more effective at those tasks than other products put to non-intended uses. (That is, bug spray might clean glass just fine, but plain old window cleaner is better, cheaper, and safer for that purpose.)

For more information, verifying and vilifying, check it out here.

A Day Without Smiling

Is a Wasted Day!

I Love this DOCTOR!!!!

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Wan t to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

from email

Presidential Candidate Announces Fair Tax Platform

Talk about a blast from the past, but former Alaska US Senator Mike Gravel (D-VA) said Thursday he will run for President in 2008. Gravel, 75, has not faced voters since he lost for reelection in 1980. His three main issues: opposition to the Iraq War, passage of a direct democracy constitutional amendment establishing national referendums on legislation (much like state ballot initiatives), and adoption of a "Fair Tax" plan that would replace all federal individual and corporate taxes with a 23% national sales tax on all new goods and services. "The American people are frustrated with the level of dysfunction of government,” Gravel said. “The thought of getting out there early, right now, is really the big tactic for me. Once I’m out there and people see the issues I’m raising, it will resonate with people," he explained. Gravel's anger over the Iraq War and government secrecy -- which he views as very similar to the Vietnam War issues he dealt with in the Senate -- prompted him to run. Gravel, who was almost solely responsible for both ending the military draft and for getting the secret "Pentagon Papers" into the press in 1971, actively ran for Vice President in 1972 (and won a few hundred convention delegates). Gravel plans a formal announcement on Monday in DC.

Link

Will I support Gravel simply because he supports a National Sales Tax? Well, I'll hedge my bets. He's my frontrunner until I find someone who supports a NST AND tough enforcement of illegal alien laws. And if someone comes along who wants to privatize Social Security as well...that's my man or woman as the case may be.

Martha vs. Maxine

Martha's Way

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Maxine's Way

Celery? Never heard of it!

from email

I believe in Easter, do you?

THE STORY OF EDITH BURNS... Happy Easter!

Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns. One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns. When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.

Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.

Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure. Edith began by saying,"My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Beverly said, "Why yes I do." Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?" Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up." Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room. After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"

Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."

Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!"

Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"

Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up. Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.

Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.

One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."

Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not interested."

Edith said, "Well, I will pray and, I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family."

Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.

Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you, Phyllis, and I love you, and I'm praying for you."

One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, "Do you believe in Easter but you have never asked me."

Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have asked." Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"

Phyllis Cross said, "Oh I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.

Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."

Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter Phyllis!"

Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter lilies and wish her a Happy Easter. When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14:

"In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4,

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down here cheeks, said, "Happy Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!" Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"

from email - I don't know whether Phylis and Edith really existed or whether this is a ficticious story written to make a point, but it is a great Easter story, don't you agree?

Happy Easter!

STILL HE WALKED

He could hear the crowds screaming "crucify, crucify". He could hear the hatred in their voices, These were His chosen people.He loved them, And they were going to crucify Him. He was beaten, bleeding and weakened...His heart was broken.

But still He walked.

He could see the crowd as He came from the palace.

He knew each of the faces so well.

He had created them.

He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear, but now they were contorted with rage and anger.

His heart broken.

But still He walked.

Was He scared?

You and I would have been.

So His humanness would have mandated that He was. He felt alone. His disciples had left, denied, and even betrayed Him.

He searched the crowd for a loving face and He saw very few. Then He turned His eyes to the only one that mattered. And He knew that He would never be alone. He looked back at the crowd, at the people who were spitting at Him, throwing rocks at Him and mocking Him and He knew that because of Him, they would never be alone.

So for them, He walked.

The sounds of the hammer striking the spikes echoed through the crowd. The sounds of His cries echoed even louder. The cheers of the crowd, as His hands and feet were nailed to the cross, intensified with each blow. Loudest of all was the still small voice inside His heart that whispered "I am with you, my son." And God's heart broke.

He had let His son walk.

Jesus could have asked God to end His suffering, but instead He asked God to forgive. Not to forgive Him, but to forgive the ones who were persecuting Him. As He hung on that cross, dying an unimaginable death, He looked out and saw, not only the faces in the crowd, but also, the face of every person yet to be. And His heart filled with love. As His body was dying, His heart was alive. Alive with the limitless, unconditional love He feels for each of us.

That is why He walked.

When I forget how much My God loves me, I remember His walk.

When I wonder if I can be forgiven, I remember His walk.

When I need reminded of how to live like Christ, I think of His walk.

And to show Him how much I love Him, I wake up each morning, turn my eyes to Him.

And I walk.

-- Author Unknown

Blessings to each of you this Easter. May we all walk, because He did.

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from email