Gonna Be A Bear

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown cute, cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear.