Monday, December 26, 2005

Security System

Now that Christmas is over, and you've opened all those really great gifts, especially those ... (cough)... expensive gifts, you might want to consider installing a security system.

Well, if you are like most people, you shot your wad on Christmas gifts and don't have a lot of money for a security system. Here's your answer...the Poor Man's Security System, presented here complete with instructions.

How To install a poor-man's security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots (a really big pair). Put them outside your front door on top of a pile of Guns and Ammo magazines. Put a dog dish beside it; a BIG dog dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like,

Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition.
Be back in a 1/2 hour.
Don't disturb the Pit bulls; they've just been wormed.

Heck, it would keep me away!

Update: Reader Charlie on the PA Turnpike offers this from his George Carlin page-a-day calendar:

I have a very inexpensive security system. If someone breaks into my house, I run next door and throw a brick through my neighbor's window. That sets off his alarm, and when the police arrive I driect them to my house.

And I like that idea even better!

Thanks Charlie!

2 comments:

Charlie on the PA Turnpike said...

My GEORGE CARLIN PAGE-A-DAY calendar has this for today, which can be used in conjunction with your post:

I have a very inexpensive security system. If someone breaks into my house, I run next door and throw a brick through my neighbor's window. That sets off his alarm, and when the police arrive I driect them to my house.

Deborah said...

Hi Charlie! Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for offering this Carlin quote. it's perfect!