What Are the Lottery Numbers?

That was the question my sergeant asked when I put in for two days sick leave a couple of weeks ago. Since I knew I was going to "be sick" for two days a couple of weeks in advance, he thought I also knew what numbers were coming up in the state lotto. I laughed and told him that if I knew the answer to that, well, I wouldn't be concerned with putting in for two days off. I'd be putting in my retirement papers.

I had been to my doctor for a physical and, being at that magical age, was scheduled for a...uhm..."procedure". Because of HIPPA laws, rules, procedures, regulations, and God knows what else, the sergeant couldn't ask why I needed the time off. But, being the person I am (not really caring who knew that I was having a "procedure"), explained that Monday would be for...uhm...preparation and the second day, Tuesday, the "procedure" would actually done. He, being the smart fellow he is, figured that was the situation, but just had to be a smart a...aleck and ask for the lottery numbers.

So today I was home from work to "prepare". I was on a liquid fast all day. I could drink just about anything I wanted as long as it wasn't "red". Red is a problem for this "procedure." I found out that fasting isn't as easy as it looks. I need to chew! I want to savor the flavor and texture of solid food in my mouth. I told My Other Half that depending on how I reacted to the sedation, we were going out to eat, for a late breakfast, lunch, or dinner, depending on what time I was released.

I did have to drink two specific liquids, well, one was a liquid, the other a powder to be mixed with a liquid. The first began at 8 am and needed to be finished in an hour. The second, prepared in the morning and refrigerated, began at 2 pm. I could work on getting it down all afternoon. It really wasn't difficult, I just had to drink liquids and be close to the...uhm...facilities. Aside from the need for texture in my food, it wasn't difficult. I knew that everything would come out in the end.

And it did.