The economy is so bad that:

I received a predeclined credit card in the mail.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street "WalMart Street".

Finally, when I called the Suicide Hotline, I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.