The economy is so bad that:
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "WalMart Street".
Finally, when I called the Suicide Hotline, I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.