Christmas Cake Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

lots of nuts

1 bottle vodka

2 cups dried fruit

Method:

Check the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup of butter in a large bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar, Beat again.

At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok, try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt.... or something....who cares at this stage. Check the vodka, shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar and check the vodka again. Grease the oven and throw up in the fridge. Now turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and turn off the beaterer. Fall into bed.