Personal Bank Accounts
I've read somewhere that every married woman should have certain things, one being enough money of her own to know that she could leave the marriage if she felt it necessary.
And no, I'm not advocating that any woman should just up and leave, but there are women who stay in a marriage because they don't have money of their own. Every one, male or female, should have that much independence.
I've always believed that every person, even (maybe even especially) married couples, should have their own personal bank accounts in addition to joint accounts. It's not a matter of not "trusting" a spouse. It's a matter of having some independence and knowing you are not dependent on anyone else. It was nice knowing that I could buy a gift for him using "my own money", not "his" or "ours" to buy a gift for him. Or to buy something for myself that was not from "our money". Since I was basically the family breadwinner for the last four years, he had money of his own, independent of our joint account, and he never had to ask if he could buy this or that.
How would a woman, particularly one who elects to stay home and take care of their family and raise the kids, get money to have her own account? Well, that's up to the woman. She would make darn good money if she did this for a living, so perhaps she should receive some kind of monetary payment for her services. Maybe what the couple would save in daycare expenses? Just a thought. It's a situation that has to be up to the couple and their particular financial situation.
In any case, since I have been working for years, I was at a place when we married that I could have my own account. I set a figure that would go into the joint account every payday and the rest went into my personal account. My husband didn't have a personal account at that time, but he kept cash out and deposited the rest into the joint account. When he couldn't work any more and started receving Social Security disability, he set up his own account. For a while, his check went into the joint account. When his check came in, he would transfer a portion to his account and leave the rest in the joint account. Later, he changed the deposit to his account. He would transfer most of it to the joint account and keep the rest for his own use. If the joint account ran low, one or both of us would transfer money to the joint account. Or, if one of us needed money in our accounts, we would agree to take money from the joint account.
Having our own accounts gave each of us a feeling of independence. It was our "play money" and we could do whatever we wanted with that money. I couldn't tell him what to do with his money and he couldn't tell me what to do with mine. We didn't criticize the other on how we spent our "own" money.
You may have read my attempt to close his account. If you didn't, just scroll down to find it. In a nutshell, because I wasn't on the account, I can't close it without, basically a court order.
So, you single people, guys and gals, and married folks who have personal accounts separate from your spouse, check with your bank to see what will happen if you or spouse dies. If it's you, what will your family have to do to close the account and get the money you probably want them to have? If it's your spouse, what will you have to do to get access to the money and to close the account? When we opened our accounts, neither of us were told about this. Just another thing this bank didn't tell us about (other issues, don't worry, I'm not going into those).
Hey, maybe you're married, and have someone on the side. Not saying you are cheating on your spouse, but we all know lots of people do. And maybe it's a child that for some reason you want to be sure has some money after you're gone. Making them a beneficiary of this account will be one way to be sure that person gets this money.
Of course, having a will is a better way to go, but that's another story.
I've always believed that every person, even (maybe even especially) married couples, should have their own personal bank accounts in addition to joint accounts. It's not a matter of not "trusting" a spouse. It's a matter of having some independence and knowing you are not dependent on anyone else. It was nice knowing that I could buy a gift for him using "my own money", not "his" or "ours" to buy a gift for him. Or to buy something for myself that was not from "our money". Since I was basically the family breadwinner for the last four years, he had money of his own, independent of our joint account, and he never had to ask if he could buy this or that.
How would a woman, particularly one who elects to stay home and take care of their family and raise the kids, get money to have her own account? Well, that's up to the woman. She would make darn good money if she did this for a living, so perhaps she should receive some kind of monetary payment for her services. Maybe what the couple would save in daycare expenses? Just a thought. It's a situation that has to be up to the couple and their particular financial situation.
In any case, since I have been working for years, I was at a place when we married that I could have my own account. I set a figure that would go into the joint account every payday and the rest went into my personal account. My husband didn't have a personal account at that time, but he kept cash out and deposited the rest into the joint account. When he couldn't work any more and started receving Social Security disability, he set up his own account. For a while, his check went into the joint account. When his check came in, he would transfer a portion to his account and leave the rest in the joint account. Later, he changed the deposit to his account. He would transfer most of it to the joint account and keep the rest for his own use. If the joint account ran low, one or both of us would transfer money to the joint account. Or, if one of us needed money in our accounts, we would agree to take money from the joint account.
Having our own accounts gave each of us a feeling of independence. It was our "play money" and we could do whatever we wanted with that money. I couldn't tell him what to do with his money and he couldn't tell me what to do with mine. We didn't criticize the other on how we spent our "own" money.
You may have read my attempt to close his account. If you didn't, just scroll down to find it. In a nutshell, because I wasn't on the account, I can't close it without, basically a court order.
So, you single people, guys and gals, and married folks who have personal accounts separate from your spouse, check with your bank to see what will happen if you or spouse dies. If it's you, what will your family have to do to close the account and get the money you probably want them to have? If it's your spouse, what will you have to do to get access to the money and to close the account? When we opened our accounts, neither of us were told about this. Just another thing this bank didn't tell us about (other issues, don't worry, I'm not going into those).
Hey, maybe you're married, and have someone on the side. Not saying you are cheating on your spouse, but we all know lots of people do. And maybe it's a child that for some reason you want to be sure has some money after you're gone. Making them a beneficiary of this account will be one way to be sure that person gets this money.
Of course, having a will is a better way to go, but that's another story.
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