Received from my Proud to Be From Iowa cousin
JEFF FOXWORTHY ON IOWA
You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by
Someone in a store offers you assistance...and they don't work there
Your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead
Your town has an equal number of bars and churches
You have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE IOWAN WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3 You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down south means Missouri.
15. A brat is something you eat.
16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
17. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fireworks melted.
19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends
Now, in Iowa's defense, some of these can be attributed to other states as well. I recognize Florida and the South in more than a few, but this is about Iowa. So, Iowans, stand up and Be Proud!
