Middle Age

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that's scary!)

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere...you may be dead.