St Patrick's Day

The History of the Holiday

from The History Channel

The First Parade

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17, his religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for thousands of years.

On St. Patrick's Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink, and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.

The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place not in Ireland, but in the United States. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762. Along with their music, the parade helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots, as well as fellow Irishmen serving in the English army.

Over the next thirty-five years, Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, prompting the rise of so-called "Irish Aid" societies, like the Friendly Sons of Saint Patrick and the Hibernian Society. Each group would hold annual parades featuring bagpipes (which actually first became popular in the Scottish and British armies) and drums.

No Irish Need Apply

Up until the mid-nineteenth century, most Irish immigrants in America were members of the Protestant middle class. When the Great Potato Famine hit Ireland in 1845, close to a million poor, uneducated, Catholic Irish began to pour into America to escape starvation. Despised for their religious beliefs and funny accents by the American Protestant majority, the immigrants had trouble finding even menial jobs. When Irish Americans in the country 's cities took to the streets on St. Patrick's Day to celebrate their heritage, newspapers portrayed them in cartoons as drunk, violent monkeys.

However, the Irish soon began to realize that their great numbers endowed them with a political power that had yet to be exploited. They started to organize, and their voting block, known as the "green machine," became an important swing vote for political hopefuls. Suddenly, annual St. Patrick's Day parades became a show of strength for Irish Americans, as well as a must-attend event for a slew of political candidates. In 1948, President Truman attended New York City 's St. Patrick's Day parade, a proud moment for the many Irish whose ancestors had to fight stereotypes and racial prejudice to find acceptance in America.

Wearing of the Green Goes Global

Today, St. Patrick's Day is celebrated by people of all backgrounds in the United States, Canada, and Australia. Although North America is home to the largest productions, St. Patrick's Day has been celebrated in other locations far from Ireland, including Japan, Singapore, and Russia.

In modern-day Ireland, St. Patrick's Day has traditionally been a religious occasion. In fact, up until the 1970s, Irish laws mandated that pubs be closed on March 17. Beginning in 1995, however, the Irish government began a national campaign to use St. Patrick's Day as an opportunity to drive tourism and showcase Ireland to the rest of the world. Last year, close to one million people took part in Ireland 's St. Patrick's Festival in Dublin, a multi-day celebration featuring parades, concerts, outdoor theater productions, and fireworks shows.

Gotta Love the Irish

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

In Honor of Stupid People . . . Part 4

Actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me time?)

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those bulldozers.)

More to follow

Lemon-Irish Whiskey Cake Recipe

Ingredients : Ideally this recipe should be started the day before baking.

1 lemon, zest of, cut into julienne

3/4 cup superfine sugar (regular sugar can be processed in a blender of food processor)

3 eggs, beaten

1/4 cup Irish whiskey

3/4 cup butter, at room temperature

2 cups flour

3/4 cup almonds, ground

1 pinch salt

Preparation:

Place julienned lemon zest in a small bowl. Let it soak in whiskey overnight. The next day, preheat oven to 350°F .Grease a 9 inch cake pan. Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy and then whisk in the eggs. Sift the flour and add to the butter mixture together with the salt. Stir to blend. Fold in the ground almonds. Strain the whiskey, discarding the zest, and stir the whiskey into the batter. Pour into the prepared pan, and bake for about one hour, until golden brown, and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

10 servings

Unicorn

A long time ago when the Earth was green,

There was more kinds of animals then you've ever seen.

And they'd run around free while the world was being born.

The loveliest of all was the Unicorn!

There was green alligators and long necked geese,

Hump back camels and chimpanzees.

Cats and rats and elephants but sure a you're born,

The loveliest of all was the Unicorn!

But the Lord seen some sinnin' and it caused him pain.

He says, "Stand back, I'm gonna make it rain.

So hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do.

Go and build me a floating zoo."

"You'll take two alligators and a couple of geese,

Two hump back camels and two chimpanzees.

Two cats, two rats, two elephants but as sure as you're born,

Noah, don't you forget my unicorns!"

Well, Noah looked out through the drivin' rain,

But the unicorns was hidin'-playin' silly games.

They were kickin' and a-splashin' while the rain was pourin',

Oh them foolish unicorns.

"So you take two alligators and a couple of geese,

Two hump back camels and two chimpanzees.

Two cats, two rats, two elephants but as sure as you're born,

Noah, don't you forget my unicorns."

And the the ark started movin' and it drifted with the tide,

And the unicorns looked up from the rock and cried.

And the water came up and sort of floated them away,

That's why you've never seen a unicorn to this day.

You'll see a lot of alligators and a whole mess of geese,

You'll see hump back camels and chimpanzees.

You'll see cats and rats and elephants but as sure as you're born,

You're never gonna see no unicorn.

The Holiday Spot

Gotta Love the Irish

Being of Irish descent myself, I love Irish jokes.

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life, and Give up me Irish Whiskey."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Who Was St. Patrick?

from The History Channel

St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is one of Christianity's most widely known figures. But for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat of a mystery. Many of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick, including the famous account of his banishing all the snakes from Ireland, are false, the products of hundreds of years of exaggerated storytelling.

Taken Prisoner By Irish Raiders

It is known that St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century. He is believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D. Although his father was a Christian deacon, it has been suggested that he probably took on the role because of tax incentives and there is no evidence that Patrick came from a particularly religious family. At the age of sixteen, Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders who were attacking his family's estate. They transported him to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity. (There is some dispute over where this captivity took place. Although many believe he was taken to live in Mount Slemish in County Antrim, it is more likely that he was held in County Mayo near Killala.) During this time, he worked as a shepherd, outdoors and away from people. Lonely and afraid, he turned to his religion for solace, becoming a devout Christian. (It is also believed that Patrick first began to dream of converting the Irish people to Christianity during his captivity.)

Guided By Visions

After more than six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped. According to his writing, a voice—which he believed to be God's—spoke to him in a dream, telling him it was time to leave Ireland.

To do so, Patrick walked nearly 200 miles from County Mayo, where it is believed he was held, to the Irish coast. After escaping to Britain, Patrick reported that he experienced a second revelation—an angel in a dream tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary. Soon after, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than fifteen years. After his ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual mission—to minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish. (Interestingly, this mission contradicts the widely held notion that Patrick introduced Christianity to Ireland.)

Bonfires and Crosses

Familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs. For instance, he used bonfires to celebrate Easter since the Irish were used to honoring their gods with fire. He also superimposed a sun, a powerful Irish symbol, onto the Christian cross to create what is now called a Celtic cross, so that veneration of the symbol would seem more natural to the Irish. (Although there were a small number of Christians on the island when Patrick arrived, most Irish practiced a nature-based pagan religion. The Irish culture centered around a rich tradition of oral legend and myth. When this is considered, it is no surprise that the story of Patrick's life became exaggerated over the centuries—spinning exciting tales to remember history has always been a part of the Irish way of life. )

Flying High

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots(marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And The Best One For Last!!

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

I'VE LEARNED...

A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn! That was fun!"

I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned...that money doesn't buy class.

I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I am honored

from email. Slightly edited, but otherwise intact

DID YOU KNOW?

Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said:

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ".

Part 6

A GREAT RECIPE

Fold two hands together, And express a dash of sorrow.

Marinate it overnight, And work on it tomorrow.

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces, Add several cups of love. D

redge with a large sized smile, Mix with the ingredients above.

Dissolve the hate within you, By doing a good deed.

Cut in and help your friend, If he/she should be in need.

Stir in laughter, love and kindness, From the heart it has to come.

Toss with genuine forgiveness, And give your friends some.

The amount of people served, Will depend on you.

It can serve the whole wide world. If you really want it to!!!

author unknown

It's An Animal's Life

Couldn't help it Ma, that first step is a killer

from email

The Question Was....

What was Laverne DeFazio's favorite drink?

Pepsi and milk

Yay, Anonymous! I didn't advertise it earlier (didn't think anyone would answer!), but if you would like an invitation to open a Gmail account, I'll be happy to send it to you for answering this question correctly.

And, uh, in case of multiple claims to be "Anonymous", the invitation will go to the first to respond.

Did You Know This About Your Mouse?

If you hold down the Ctrl key on your key board and then turn the small wheel in the middle of your mouse away from you or towards you, the print size will change - it will either get larger or smaller - depending on which way you turn the wheel

Got this tidbit from Cousin Buddie. I tried it, and it works!

In Honor of Stupid People . . . Part 3

Actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --

"Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --

"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

More to follow...

New FairTax Website

Those of you who are regular readers (yes, I'm talking about you, my other favorite reader) know that I used to write on a fairly regular basis about the FairTax (HB25/S25). I will be again soon.

I think I got slightly burned out on politics during the last election cycle, but the 2006 elections are coming up and I think I'm ready to get back into the saddle again. Is that Gene Autry I hear singing in the background? Anyway....

Thanks to Neal Boortz, I found a great website. It's a fairly new site, but it is so comprehensive it's a must see for the FairTaxer, or those who want more information. Go visit Fair Tax Groups and see what I'm talking about. It will be on the sidebar before long.

For Us Old-Timers

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem toget food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too.

Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches.

What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

Food For Thought

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

-------------------------------------------------

From email.

This is the philosophy I choose to live by. I've had my bad days where it seemed like nothing was going right or my way, but for the most part, I choose to be happy and optimistic. Life is about choices. You make the choice to be optimistic or negative.

I try to treat people rightly, and for the most part, I've been treated rightly. The few times I've been treated badly, I've still come out ahead. I choose to take such time as learning experiences. I might not understand the lesson at the time, but I try to learn from it. If the only thing I take from it is that I can no longer trust a person, or that I need to take responsibility for my actions, then that's what I get. And those who have treated me badly have not fared as well as I have.

People have had the idea that I'm a Pollyanna. Not true. I do prefer to see things from my own perspective, and therefore, see everything in the best possible light, but I also know what the reality is. Why see everything from the negative? If you expect bad things to happen, they will. If you expect good to happen, it usually will.

I prefer to see the good in people and take the optimistic view of life. I also know that people can do bad things, and not everything that happens is good, but why look for it. There is too much that can be seen as negative. Why look for it?

DID YOU KNOW?

James Madison, the fourth president, known as "The Father of Our Constitution" made the following statement:

"We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."

Part 5

God still sits on the throne.

Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

The prayer:

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Received in email. This is one I was asked to pass on. If you feel called to do so, feel free to copy and paste to your blog or email.

Blogging for St. Jude

I had an email from Jeffrey Blanco, AKA Louisiana Conservative, who had this to say:

A group of bloggers known as the South Park Republicans are doing a series of posts to help raise money for cancer research. This week's post can be found at...http://andrightlyso.com/2006/03/04/fight-on/.

I'm not a big fan of South Park, but for cancer research, I can overlook this. I have And Rightly So! on my blogroll. If Raven writes at South Park Republicans, then I will give it a look and space to tell you to go look at least at And Rightly So!

My Uncle Paul was a doctor at St. Jude's for many years (his field was children's leukemia), so I have a connection to St. Jude's. And cancer, especially in children, is a cause near to my heart.
So. Go visit, and most of all, donate.

Warning for All Dog Owners!

If you don't have a dog, please pass this on to your friends who do. Warning to all dog owners: Watch your dog! The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the city. They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs - KEEP THEM INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!

Here is a picture of the suspect:

It's An Animal's Life

Everybody needs to feel secure

from email

What Was...

Laverne DeFazio's favorite drink in the TV series Laverne and Shirley ?

Black and White



















Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.

Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

Depending on the channel you tuned,
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June.

It felt so good. It felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.

I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys,

Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane.

Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,

Donna Reed on Thursday night! --
Life looked better in black and white.

I wanna go back to black and white.
Everything always turned out right.

Simple people, simple lives...
Good guys always won the fights.

Now nothing is the way it seems,
In living color on the TV screen.

Too many murders, too many fights,
I wanna go back to black and white.

In God they trusted, alone in bed, they slept,
A promise made was a promise kept.

They never cussed or broke their vows.
They'd never make the network now.

But if I could, I'd rather

be In a TV town in '53.

It felt so good. It felt so right.

Life looked better in black and white.

I'd trade all the channels on the satellite,

If I could just turn back the clock tonight

To when everybody knew wrong from right.

Life was better in black and white!

---------------

from email

NBA OR NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits and
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

NFL or NBA. Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

Neither, it's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

from email. Can't say whether this is true or not, but unfortunately, I can believe it.

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

This explains a lot about our government. It's amazing that our economy is doing as well as it it.

In Honor of Stupid People. . . Part 2

Actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's just a suggestion.)

More to follow...

The Banister of life

As You Slide Down The Bannister of Life, Remember.........

1. Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. (image placeholder)

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

-------------------------------------------------------

from email - Thanks, Joyce!

This is Cool!

Got this link from my cousin Buddy.

Here's a fun game to play. The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. If you can go longer than 22 seconds you are phenomenal.

Reportedly, the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes. Give it a try!

My (ahem) first try was 21.6. My best (and fourth) try was 48.7 seconds.

New Kind of Breast Cancer

from email - confirmed by Snopes.com

Please forward to all of the women in your lives -- Mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, etc. In November, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. A lady developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing.

Because her mammogram had been clear, the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds, it continued to get worse, so her doctor sent her for another mammogram. This time it showed a mass.

A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then a mastectomy was performed; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health.

She had one year of living each day to its fullest! Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After a few days of needing morphine, she died. She left this message to be delivered to women everywhere.

Women, PLEASE be alert to anything that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible.

Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of the breast, on the nipple and aureole. It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that. Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me. It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak.

They seemed a little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous. Now, I suspect not many women out there know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureole can be breast cancer. Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureole.

One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate delays in detection and care.

What are the symptoms?

1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn. (As I stated, mine did not itch or burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)

2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureole area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple).

3. Usually only one nipple is effected. How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), your doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.

This message should be taken seriously and passed on to as many of your relatives and friends as possible; it could save someone's life.

My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and taking Tamaxofin. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning, perhaps it would not have spread.

TO ALL READERS: This is sad as women are not aware of Paget's disease of the nipple. If, by passing this around on the e-mail, we can make others aware of it and its potential danger, we are helping women everywhere.

Please, if you can, take a moment to forward this message to as many people as possible, especially to your family and friends. It only takes a moment, yet the results could save a life.

-------------------------------------------

From Snopes.com: Paget's disease of the nipple is indeed a real form of breast cancer, and the description offered in this message is fairly accurate. (This malady should not be confused with Paget's disease of the bone, which has a confusingly similar name but is a completely different disease.) Paget's disease of the nipple is far from a common illness, however. It's the first sign of breast cancer in about only 0.5% to 4.3% of all cases, it accounts for less than 1% of all breast cancers, and it's extremely rare in women under 30.

And more information from OncoLink.

How Much Do You Know About the

Winter Games?

ANSWERS

1. Katarina Witt.

2. 500-meter speed skating. She finished 18/100ths of a second behind Bonnie Blair of the U.S.

3. Tights. They are required to wear trousers.

4. Bjorn Daehlie. The Nordic skier won 12 medals from 1992 to 1998 - eight of them gold.

5. Thirty-four. Ten gold, 13 silver and 11 bronze. It was the U.S.' best-ever showing at the Winter Games.

6. Fourteenth.

7. They swept the medals in halfpipe, giving the U.S. its first Winter Games medal sweep since men's figure skating in 1956.

8. Small-bore, .22 caliber rifles are used.

9. Jim Shea Jr. and Tristan Gale.

10. Switzerland defeated Canada 9-3 for the gold in men's curling; Canada defeated Denmark 7-5 for the women's gold.

Bonus: Finland.

Link to US Olympic Team site

Final US Medal Count

Gold

Apolo Anton Ohno - Short Track – Men’s 1500m
Julia Mancuso – Women’s Giant Slalom
Ted Ligety - Alpine Skiing – Men’s Combined
Chad Hedrick – Speed skating 5000m
Shani Davis – Speed Skating – 1000m
Joey Cheek – Speed Skating – 500m
Shaun White – Snowboarding – Halfpipe
Hannah Teter – Snowboarding – Halfpipe
Seth Wescott – Snowboarding – Snowboard Cross

Silver

Chad Hedrick –Speed skating - Men’s 10000m
Sasha Cohen – Figure Skating – Women’s Individual
Shauna Rohbock and Valerie Fleming –Women’s’ Bobsled
Shani Davis – Speed skating – Men’s 1500m
Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto – Ice Dancing
Joey Cheek – Speed Skating – 1000m
Lindsey Jocobellis – Snowboarding – Snowboard Cross
Danny Kass – Snowboarding – Halfpipe
Gretchen Bleiler – Snowboarding - Halfpipe

Bronze

Rusty Smith, Apolo Anton Ohno, Alex Izykowski and JP Kepka – Short Track 5000m Relay
US Men’s Curling Team
Rosey Fletcher – Women’s Parallel Giant Slalom
Chad Hedrick – Speed skating 1500m
Women’s US Ice Hockey Team
Apolo Anton Ohno – Speed Skating – Short Track 1000m
Toby Dawson – Freestyle Skiing - Moguls

Congratulations to the US Teams and to all Olympians. There are only so many medals that can be won, but every athlete who competed showed that personal and political differences can be put aside for a couple of weeks. It would be nice if our governments could figure out a way of doing the same.

In my opinion, Joey Cheek of the US deserves a Gold Medal for being the most generous Olympian. He donated, I believe it was $40,000 in bonus money received for winning medals to charity. Other Olympians followed his leadand also donated bonus money. I'll have more information on how much, who and what charity(ies) as I find the inforamtion.

And finally, we bid a fond farewell to Turino and look forward to Beijing in 2008, Vancouver in 2010, and London in 2012.

DID YOU KNOW?

There are Bible verses etched in stone all over the Federal Buildings and Monuments in Washington, D.C.

Part 4

It's An Animal's Life

What part of quiet didn't you understand????

from email - first of weekly series

My Points

Just wanted to let you guys in on a little secret. My Points is a program that by visiting sponsor pages you earn points. Five points for reading the email and visitng the sponsor page. You can earn many more points by accepting the offer.

I've been a member for several years and used my earned points to purchase gift cards that I've either given as gifts or used myself. The cards can be purchased from major merchants and restaurants such as Home Depot, Office Depot, Gap, Barnes and Noble, Macy's, Old Navy, Applebee's, Starbucks, Kmart, Red Lobster, Hallmark Flowers, and the list goes on. You can even donate points to the American Red Cross.

As a member, you can earn points by reading and responding to emails, or by doing the MyPoints and shopping at the retailers and merchants they have partnered with. You're going to shop, so why not get points for it? I think it's a great deal.

I had decided I wanted to join NetFlix, so I waited until I got an email from MyPoints with NetFlix as the sponsor. Clicked on the link, signed up, and earned 500 points. I bought our cell phones through MyPoints also (and got a better deal than I would have through a certain nationally known retired persons association that is known for it's member benefits). You don't even have to wait for the email, you can go to MyPoints, find the merchant you're interested in and get the points right there.

I needed a gift for my nephew for Christmas a year or so ago, and didn't know what to get him, so I ordered a gift card for Applebee's. One thing, you do have to order well in advance because it does take awhile to get the cards, but if you're not in a huge hurry, this is great. I never spent a penny on the cards. MyPoints paid for them. I promise you, if I didn't like the program, I would not be a member, and I wouldn't be saying anything nice about MyPoints. So I spend a few minutes giving you my opinion and I get points. What could be better?

Spend a minute or two (or less) looking at an email, get points and use the points to buy stuff. How great is that?

Happy Shopping!

In Honor of Stupid People . . . Part 1

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

More to follow...

New Credit Card Scam

At least new to me. Apparently, someone from "Visa" or "Mastercard" will call and tell you that they are investigating an unusal pattern in spending and ask if you charged $497.99 for an item. Beware, the amount or item may change.

The people calling will give you information such as your address. At some point, they will ask if you have your card available and ask for the security numbers on the back of the card. They may ask for other numbers as well, but

DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR THREE DIGIT SECURITY NUMBER!

Can I make it any plainer?

The scammers need that 3 digit code in order to charge items to your card. Again, do not give these numbers out to anyone! If you do get a call, instead of giving the number out, tell the caller you will call Visa or Mastercard or whatever card they are calling about directly. Call the number on your statement or on the back of the card. If it is a legitimate call, the caller will agree that this is a wise move. If they ofer a number to call, it is probably a scam and do not call that number.

Now, I received this warning in email, and have not checked out the truthfulness of this report, but it only makes sense to be cautious and to not give out that information.

Be smart and be safe. If you do get a call like this, call the credit card company yourself. If it's legit, they will appreciate your caution. If it's not, they will appreciate your information.

Nigerian Scams

You've heard of the Nigerian email scams. Someone sends you an email telling you that a relative has died in a plane crash along with wife and only child. You have been deemed to be the closest relative and entitled to their estate worth millions. All you have to do is send name, address, phone, Social Security number, passport numbers, and bank information. Once they have verified that you are the heir to the estate, they will send the money to your bank account.

There are other variations on the theme. One is the widow of a high ranking government or banking official. Sometimes she is dying and wants her money (again in the millions) to be distributed to the poor, but she's afraid that her greedy relatives won't carry out her wishes.

Another is a mid or upper level banking or government official has uncovered an account worth millions - sometimes overpayments made an oil or construction company - that is about to be found out by corrupt officials who will seize the money for their own benefit.

There are other variations, but they are all the same. They have found your name through a registry or other vaguely described place. They want to get the money out of their country (usually Nigeria, but Russia, Saudi Arabia and South American countries are being used also) and want you to be their agent on this end. You will be well compensated, of course.

Okay, let's say you send them the information they want. You know what you'll get in return? An empty bank account and a stolen identity. You've given them enough, more than enough, actually, information to make your life a living hell for years to come. Do not ever send them any personal information. Don't even send them your telephone number, much less bank account numbers. Actually, I did think of sending them them the Washington FBI address and telephone numbers, but hadn't gotten around to looking them up.

I've somehow managed to get on a mailing list for these scams. I was getting one or two a week, and then one or two a day, and then several in one day. No, I didn't give them information they didn't already have. They had my email, and that's all they had and all they would get. I don't keep much personal information on my computer, so they couldn't find much.

Anyway, I played with a couple of them. Replied, asked questions. Showed I was as greedy as they and asked for money up front. Of course, all I got back was a hard time because I was so greedy. Well, I didn't really have time to play with them, and I'm not sure I was up to playing their games, so I came up with another idea.

I added each of them to my email directory and as I got another email, I forwarded that email to each of the ones in my contacts list. I figured that if they wanted someone who was stupid and greedy, they might as well talk to one of their own.

Since last Thursday when I started this, I haven't received a single email scam. Of course, most of the ones I sent out were bounced back. Their email accounts were closed even before I sent them out. Their ISP's figured out they were scamming, or they closed down on their own, or, I don't know what. But, I haven't gotten any more.

I don't think they like me any more.

::sigh:: I feel so unloved.

Update: They must love me again! I've gotten a couple more! And Jack's Shack reports that "I have been having a most enjoyable time corresponding with a Mr. Shola Rhodes." Jack! Tell us more! Inquiring minds want to know!

A Real Friend Test

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A Valentine for Osama

Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. And, "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks,"will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Thelma's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden,"she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know,"Thelma says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow him all to Hell."

A girl after my own heart - ed.

From email

Current US Medal Count

Speed Skating

Gold: Chad Hedrick - Speed Skating - 5000m
Gold: Shani Davis - Speed Skating - 1000m
Gold: Joey Cheek - Speed Skating - 500m

Silver: Joey Cheek - Speed Skating - 1000m

Bronze: Apolo Anton Ohno - Speed Skating - Short Track 1000m

Skiing

Gold: Ted Ligety - Alpine Skiing - Men’s Combined
Bronze: Toby Dawson - Freestyle Skiing – Moguls

Snowboarding

Gold: Shaun White - Snowboarding - Halfpipe
Gold: Hannah Teter - Snowboarding – Halfpipe
Gold: Seth Wescott - Snowboarding - Snowboard Cross
Silver: Lindsey Jacobellis - Snowboarding - Snowboard Cross
Silver: Danny Kass - Snowboarding – Halfpipe
Silver: Gretchen Bleiler - Snowboarding – Halfpipe

DID YOU KNOW?

As you sit inside the courtroom, you can see the wall, right above where the Supreme Court judges sit, a display of the Ten Commandments!

Part 3