Saturday, November 04, 2006

Up In Arms Over Saddam's WMD

A controversy is swirling this morning about documents posting by the U.S. Government on a website. The site in question posts documents that are scanned in and made available from papers seized from the former government of Saddam Hussein. Much information has been discovered over the years in these documents, but here's the latest. Evidently some of the papers, which have since been pulled from the site, show how to make a nuclear bomb.

But wait....I thought Saddam Hussein didn't know how to make a nuclear bomb! We know this because the mainstream media and Democrats have told us for going on 4 years that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction. Uh-oh...looks like in complaining about these documents being posted on the web, the Left may have just admitted to something they didn't want to admit to.

Other documents posted indicated how to make different kinds of nerve gas, something else Saddam wasn't supposed to have. You're going to hear a lot of criticism in the coming days about how this was irresponsible to post and how somebody might be able to make bombs and nerve agents from these instructions. That's true...the papers shouldn't have been posted online.

But in doing so, now we have iron-clad proof that not only did Saddam Hussein know how to make Weapons of Mass Destruction, but he was working on it. If anyone needs proof, they can just look online. How handy...Democrats can actually use their own computers to debunk their lies!

[Nealz Nuze, Friday, 3 November 2006]
Helpful Tips from Sally Homemaker

Reheating refrigerated bread: To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper your weeds away: Start putting in your plants,work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go.... cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic but they will not get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass: Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of glass...the fibers catch ones you can't see!

from email
Who Is Nancy Pelosi?

Who is Nancy Pelosi, you might ask? She is the congresswoman representing San Franfreako, California. And, she will be the Speaker of the House, if the Democrats win a majority of the seats in the House.

The reason the Democrats do not want you to know about her is that she represents the extreme left wing of the party. I feel that most of the things she favors will not be well received by most voters. She says that Republicans have derailed the economy, even though 95.6% of people who want to work, have jobs - unemployment is down to 4.4%. That is due to President Bush's tax cuts that stimulated the economy following the 9/11 attacks and the worst natural disaster in our history - Katrina. Nancy Pelosi wants to raise taxes and eliminate the tax cuts. She wants to raise the minimum wage, voted against the ban on partial-birth abortion, and voted for the largest tax increase in our history. She voted against the Homeland Security Act , National Security Act, Patriot Act. She is against the right to say "one nation under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, the death penalty, and against parents being notified before an abortion is performed on their daughter. She voted to slash funding our intelligence agencies. She advocates programs that would increase the federal budget.

They say Nancy Pelosi was an anti-Vietnam war socialist hippy in the 60's. Apparently she hasn't changed much. Now, she is an irrational, socialist, anti-war, cut and run, Bush-bashing grandma. That is why you haven't seen her on TV in these last days leading to the election. The Democrats do not want you to know her.

If the Democrats win control of the House and Senate, we will have a House and Senate that will work against the President, and he will be a lame duck in this war against the extreme radical Islamics whose goal it is to kill us all and establish Islamic states and sharia Islamic law all over the globe. If Democrats win control, Nancy Pelosi will be their leader in the House of Representatives.

Scary, isn't it?
Keith Caldwell

Just food for thought - from email

Friday, November 03, 2006

Kerry's Apology

As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to any troop.

I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended

It is clear the Republican Party would rather talk about anything but their failed security policy. I don’t want my verbal slip to be a diversion from the real issues. I will continue to fight for a change of course to provide real security for our country, and a winning strategy for our troops.

Not much of an apology in my opinion. Once again, I question how anyone could "misinterpret" his statement. I thought it was pretty clear. He said what he said. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back in again, no matter whether you meant to squeeze it out or not. It appears to me that Senator Kerry's handlers have decided to blame the Republicans for their reactions to Kerry's words. Wrong tact.

Whether Kerry diverted from his prepared statement and attempted to make a joke, or just stated what he really though, doesn't really matter. Kerry shouldn't try to blame someone else for responding to what he say. Kerry is a public political figure and every word he utters are subject to scrutiny.

Once again, Mr. Kerry, I suggest that you apologize and take the lumps for your words. I've often said that the American public forgives (and then forgets) almost anything if you admit the mistake, explain (briefly) what you really meant to say, apologize for it, and then move on. Don't try to rationalize what you said. Don't whine that someone is reacting to what you said. If reporters continue to ask questions, briefly acknowledge your mistake, repeat the apology then move on - again.

It's when you continue to whine about what others are saying that you imprint the incident on the American mind. We'll forget it once we've heard the explanation and the apology. Unless you keep it alive.
Double Standard?

"[Lott] can apologize all he wants. It doesn't remove the sentiment thatescaped his mouth that day at that party. And I find it something that isunacceptable. I don't know what the remedy is to it but I do know what Sen.Lott said. I know that it was completely inappropriate. I don't know if anyapology is adequate." --Nancy Pelosi, 2002, on Trent Lott

Pelosi wanted Lott held accountable for his words after an apology. Will she hold Kerry to the same standard?

Just food for thought.
Kerry Flap

What he said: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

What was scripted: According to aides, the language was originally written to say that "if you're intellectually lazy, you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq - just ask President Bush."

Six days before the election, Kerry said he wanted to avoid becoming a distraction in the battle for control of Congress. He added he sincerely regretted that his words were “misinterpreted to imply anything negative about those in uniform.”

Kerry stirred controversy when he told a group of California students that individuals who don’t study hard and do their homework likely would “get stuck in Iraq.” Aides said the senator had mistakenly dropped one word from his prepared remarks, which originally was written to say “you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq.” In that context, they said, it was clear Kerry was referring to Bush, not to the troops.

Above are two comments taken directly from news reports. I'd like to add my two cents worth. Let's look at the second first.

It looks as if Kerry left written text and was speaking "off the cuff" when he dropped one word. I don't think so. At best, it was more than one word and changing the tense.

you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq


you get stuck in Iraq

Eleven words down to five; getting to get. Two entirely different meanings. The scripted version obviously refers to President Bush (who by the way, had higher grades at Harvard than Mr. Kerry did), and the second just as obviously refers to the troops themselves.

My advice, Mr. Kerry? Don't deviate from your script. You'll end up saying either what you really mean, or saying something other than what you do mean. In either case, you end up with egg on your face, insulting thousands (perhaps millions) of people, and maybe not being invited to participate in the next Presidential Race.

Now, addressing the first quoted text: How can not getting a good education or you'll "get stuck in Iraq" in Iraq be misinterpreted? "You" might be a generalization, but can only be interepreted as those who are in Iraq. Apparently because they didn't study and get a good education. If someone doesn't have an education (perhaps a Harvard education, Mr. Kerry?) there is no other alternative than entering the military. Sorry, I can't see the misinterpretation. The words speak for themselves.

Perhaps Kerry did make a mistake, who among us hasn't? But Mr. Kerry, don't try to spin the issue into something it's not. The issue at hand is the statement that came out of your mouth. My interpretation is that it is you who are trying to turn your faux pas into the Republicans trying to distract attention away from the war. Say you're sorry, that your foot got in front of your eyeteeth and you couldn't see what you were saying. Don't compound the stupidity by trying to turn it around. That tactic only works with stupid people.

Neither the voters nor the military is as stupid as you seem to think we are, Mr. Kerry. Except, perhaps, for the voters of Massachusettes. I simply can't explain the two senators from the great state of Massachusettes.
FairTax Supporters Under Attack!

In congressional races across the country, FairTax co-sponsors and candidates who have pledged to co-sponsor the FairTax if elected are under attack by the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) spin machine.

The DCCC is deceiving voters about the FairTax on television ads, claiming the FairTax will raise their taxes and raise prices on food, medicine and gas.

We know the liberals' claims are completely false!The DCCC ads fail to tell voters that the FairTax completely replaces the federal income tax code, eliminates the IRS, and untaxes the poor.

Liberals love to control our lives through the tax code. They will stop at nothing to gain control of the House. If New York City liberal Charlie Rangel becomes the next chairman of the House Ways & Means Committee, we may have little chance for passing the FairTax.

What can you do?

Now is the time for action. Write a letter to the editor of your local newspapers. Call your local talk radio shows. Educate your friends, family and neighbors about the FairTax. Volunteer to help your candidate this weekend with grassroots efforts. Tell the liberals enough is enough, and set the record straight about the FairTax.

This election may determine the future of the FairTax. We have come too far to let the DCCC deceive voters and distort the facts.

I am asking you to get involved in your congressional races today, this weekend, and right up to the time the polls close on Election Day.

Together we can protect the FairTax.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stroke Identification

My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.

Please read:

Stroke Identification: During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital. At 6:00 pm, Ingrid passed away. She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this.

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

Recognizing a Stroke

Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, S-T-R .

Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symp tom s of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK to speak a simple sentence (Coherently) (example: It is sunny out today)

R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately !! and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this and then sends the information to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
Nordakota Yoke

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.

When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?" Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.
Uncle Paul


"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."

Brief Pause.

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone."I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?. Is this 486-5731?"

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Breast Cancer Awareness Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today!

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

Again, please tell 10 friends to tell 10 more friends today!
Halloween Trivia and Creepy Snippets

If you see a spider on Halloween,
it is the spirit of a loved on watching over you.

Worldwide, bats are vital natural enemies of night-flying insects.

The common little brown bat of North America has the longest life span for a mammal it's size, with a life span averaging 32 years.

Answer to: What is the most popular Halloween candy?

Chocolate candy bars top the list as the most popular candy for trick-or-treaters, with Snickers #1.

source -
Halloween Trivia

What were gargoyles created for?

Answer to: A unibrow, hair palms, tattoos, and a long middle finger are popular signs of what?

Signs of a warewolf are a unibrow, hair palms, tattoos, and a long middle finger.
Halloween Trivia

A unibrow, hair palms, tattoos, and a long middle finger are popular signs of what?

Answer to: What is a vampire?

Vampires are mythical beings who defy death by sucking the blood of humans.

To this day, there are vampire clubs and societies with people claiming to be real vampires.

There really are so-called vampire bats, but they're not from Transylvania. They live in Central and South America and feed on the blood of cattle, horses and birds.
Halloween Trivia

What is the most popular Halloween candy?

Answer to: What were gargoyles created for?

Many people still believe that gargoyles were created by medieval architects and stone carvers to ward off evil spirits.

Monday, October 30, 2006

The Religion of Peace

The Pope says that jihad violence is against God's nature, and officials fear that in response, Muslims enraged by this insult will commit... jihad violence.

Muslims murder 3,000 innocents in New York and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 202 tourists in Bali and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 333 schoolchildren and their teachers in Beslan and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 292 innocents, mainly Kenyans and Tanzanians at two US Embassies and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 241 US and 58 French peacekeepers in Beirut and expect no criticism. Muslims fire 4,000 Katyusha rockets into Northern Israel killing over 50 innocent civilians and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 52 in London and 191 in Madrid and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 200 in Mumbai and expect no criticism.

Muslims behead Western hostages in Iraq, Buddhist monks in Thailand and Christian schoolgirls in Indonesia and expect no criticism.

Muslims murder 500,000 in Darfur and expect no criticism.

Muslims regard Jews as 'sons of pigs and monkeys', and vow to nuke Israel and expect no criticism.

Muslims force women to wear hideous sacks, stone to death women for getting raped and for leaving the home unescorted, engage in honor killings of sisters and daughters for unapproved dating, and expect no criticism.

Muslims danced in the streets and handed out sweets to their kids to celebrate the 9/11 atrocity, and still expected no criticism.

Since 9/11 Muslims have killed over 26,000 and wounded over 50,000 in terrorist attacks worldwide since 9/11 and expect no criticism.

Since 9/11 Muslims have committed terrorist attacks in Afghanistan, Algeria, Bangladesh, Belgium, Chad, Chechnya, Dagestan, Denmark, East Timor, Egypt, England, Eritrea, Ethiopia, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Ingushetia, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Jordan, Jordan-Iraq, Kabardino-Balkans, Kenya, Kosovo, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Lebanon, Mauritania, Morocco, Netherlands, Nigeria, Pakistan, Gaza-Palestinian Authority, Philippines, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Somalia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Syria, Tajikistan, Thailand, Tunisia, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, United Arab Republic, United States, Uzbekistan and Yemen, and still expect no criticism

Muslims have carried out over 5,800 fatal terrorist atrocities since 9/11, and countless thousands since Islamic conquest began in 623 AD and expect no criticism.

But if a Pope dares to tell the truth about Islam or Danes publish cartoons about Mohammed, then let the outpourings of Islamic hate and outrage begin.

And, by some twisted reach of logic, these radical Muslims and their followers demand the Pope issue an apology.

from email

Now, before any criticizes me for publishing this, I don't believe for a minute that all Muslims are radical or believe in jihad. However, I do believe that all RADICAL Muslims do. And those are the ones the above email discusses.

The shame lies in the fact that the mainstream, if you will, Muslims do not condemn their fellow (RADICAL) Muslims for these atrocities. I know condemnation has occurred, but not to the extend it should have.

For peace to come to Iraq, the Mid-east in general, Somalia, and all other Muslim (and non-Muslim nations) torn apart by violence, it will require the uprising of "mainstream" Muslims against the Radicals. Yes, this will be Muslim against Muslim, but it's the only way that peace will finally prevail. "Mainstream" Muslims must take back their religion so that it will finally, really and truly, be the Religion of Peace it's portrayed to be.

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.

"Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too.

"You'll need other women. Women always do."

"What a funny piece of advice!" the young woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!"

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about.

As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:


Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT.........Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Mothers-in-law, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.

You are bound to love this one.
And, if you are not a Senior,
you'd wish that you were one.
Speakers on!
I love the piano on this one. Enjoy.

Halloween Trivia

What is a vampire?

Answer to: Why are black cats a Halloween mascott?

Black cats were once believed to be witch's familiars who protected their powers.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Sunday Words of Wisdom

I am too blessed to be stressed!
His Father Wouldn't Let Go

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in South Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him.

From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.
New Admittance to Heaven Policy

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

"Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!

"The nerve of that guy!

"Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.

"But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.

"In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him.

"Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!

"The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald Trump.

"Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."

Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!

"Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away.

"As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets Trump enter.

A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."

Clinton says, "OK, picture this I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"