Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard. The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?

The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."

The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."

The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."

The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"

"You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives - the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards - there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for"

The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, may I borrow that deck of cards?"

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting thir lives on the line fighting for us!

Prayer for the Military. Please keep the wheel rolling.

It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on....

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

Who Said What??

"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line." - President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998

"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." - President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998

"Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face." - Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998

"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten time since 1983." - Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18,1998

"[WE] urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs." - Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Daschle (D-SD), John Kerry( D - MA), and others Oct. 9,1998

"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." - Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998

"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies." - Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999

"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies." - Letter to President Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,) and others, December 5, 2001

"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them." - Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002

"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." - Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002

"The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons..." - Sen. Robert Byrd (D, WV), Oct. 3, 2002

"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force-- if necessary-- to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security." - Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9,2002

"There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years. We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction."- Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002

"He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do" - Rep. Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons." - Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

"We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction." - Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL), Dec. 8, 2002

"Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation ... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real" - Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 20 03

This is History

...That has been left out of our textbooks.

Some of you/us are not old enough to remember that nearly every family in America was grossly affected by WWII. Most of you probably do not remember the rationing of meat, shoes, gasoline, and sugar. No tires for our automobiles, and a speed limit of 35 miles an hour on the road. Not to mention no new automobiles.

I found this to be an EXCELLENT writing. Well thought out and presented. It has Historical Significance.

Sixty-three years ago, Nazi Germany had overrun almost all of Europe and hammered England to the verge of bankruptcy and defeat, and had sunk more than four hundred British ships in their convoys between England and America for food and war materials. At that time the U.S. was in an isolationist, pacifist mood, and most Americans wanted nothing to do with the European or the Asian war.

Then along came Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and in outrage Congress unanimously declared war on Japan, and the following day on Germany, which had not yet attacked us. It was a dicey thing.

We had few allies. France was not an ally, as the Vichy government of France quickly aligned itself with its German occupiers. Germany was certainly not an ally, as Hitler was intent on setting up a Thousand Year Reich in Europe. Japan was not an ally, as it was well on its way to owning and controlling all of Asia.

Together, Japan and Germany had long-range plans of invading Canada and Mexico, as launching pads to get into the United States over our northern and southern borders, after they finished gaining control of Asia and Europe. America's only allies then were England, Ireland, Scotland, Canada, Australia, and Russia. That was about it. All of Europe, from Norway to Italy, except Russia in the East, was already under the Nazi heel.

America was certainly not prepared for war. America had drastically downgraded most of its military forces after WWI and throughout the depression, so that at the outbreak of WWII, army units were training with broomsticks because they didn't have guns, and cars with "tank" painted on the doors because they didn't have real tanks. A huge chunk of our navy had just been sunk or damaged at Pearl Harbor.

Britain had already gone bankrupt, saved only by the donation of $600 million in gold bullion in the Bank of England, that was actually the property of Belgium, given by Belgium to England to carry on the war when Belgium was overrun by Hitler (a little known fact).

Actually, Belgium surrendered on one day, because it was unable to oppose the German invasion, and the Germans bombed Brussels into rubble the next day just to prove they could. Britain had already been holding out for two years in the face of staggering losses and the near decimation of its air force in the Battle of Britain, and was saved from being overrun by Germany only because Hitler made the mistake of thinking the Brits were a relatively minor threat that could be dealt with later, and first turning his attention to Russia, at a time when England was on the verge of collapse, in the late summer of 1940.

Ironically, Russia saved America's butt by putting up a desperate fight for two years, until the US got geared up to begin hammering away at Germany .

Russia lost something like 24 million people in the sieges of Stalingrad and Moscow alone... 90% of them from cold and starvation, mostly civilians, but also more than a 1,000,000 soldiers.

Had Russia surrendered, Hitler would have been able to focus his entire war effort against the Brits, then America. And the Nazis could possibly have won the war.

All of this is to illustrate that turning points in history are often dicey things. And now, we find ourselves at another one of those key moments in history!

There is a very dangerous minority in Islam that either has, or wants and may soon have, the ability to deliver small nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, almost anywhere in the world.

The Jihadis, the militant Muslims, are basically Nazis in Kaffiyahs -- they believe that Islam, a radically conservative form of Wahhabi Islam, should own and control the Middle East first, then Europe, then the world. And that all who do not bow to their will of thinking should be killed, enslaved, or subjugated. They want to finish the Holocaust, destroy Israel, and purge the world of Jews. This is their mantra.

There is also a civil war raging in the Middle East -- for the most part not a hot war, but a war of ideas. Islam is having its Inquisition and its Reformation, but it is not known yet which will win -- the Inquisitors, or the Reformationists.

If the Inquisition wins, then the Wahhabis, the Jihadis, will control the Middle East, the OPEC oil, and the US, European, and Asian economies.

The techno-industrial economies will be at the mercy of OPEC -- not an OPEC dominated by the educated, rational Saudis of today, but an OPEC dominated by the Jihadis. You want gas in your car? You want heating oil next winter? You want the dollar to be worth anything? You better hope the Jihad, the Muslim Inquisition, loses, and the Islamic Reformation wins.

If the Reformation movement wins, that is, the moderate Muslims who believe that Islam can respect and tolerate other religions, and live in peace with the rest of the world, and move out of the 10th century into the 21st, then the troubles in the Middle East will eventually fade away, and a moderate and prosperous Middle East will emerge. (The rational mind of today says this).

We have to help the Reformation win, and to do that we have to fight the Inquisition, i.e. the Wahhabi movement, the Jihad, Al Qaeda and the Islamic terrorist movements.

We have to do it somewhere. And we can't do it everywhere at once. We have created a focal point for the battle at a time and place of our choosing... in Iraq. Not in New York, not in London, or Paris or Berlin, but in Iraq, where we are doing two important things:

(1) We deposed Saddam Hussein. Whether Saddam Hussein was directly involved in 9/11 or not, it is undisputed that Saddam has been actively supporting the terrorist movement for decades. Saddam is a terrorist. Saddam is, or was, a weapon of mass destruction, who is responsible for the deaths of probably more than a million Iraqis and two million Iranians.

(2) We created a battle, a confrontation, a flash point, with Islamic terrorism in Iraq. We have focused the battle. We are killing bad people, and the ones we get there we won't have to get here. We also have a good shot at creating a democratic, peaceful Iraq, which will be a catalyst for democratic change in the rest of the
Middle East, and an outpost for a stabilizing American military presence in the Middle East for as long as it is needed.

World War II, the war with the German and Japanese Nazis, really began with a "whimper" in 1928. It did not begin with Pearl Harbor. It began with the Japanese invasion of China. It was a war for fourteen years before America joined it. It officially ended in 1945 -- a 17 year war -- and was followed by another decade of US occupation in Germany and Japan to get those countries reconstructed and running on their own again .. a 27 year war.

World War II cost the United States an amount equal to approximately a full year's GDP -- adjusted for inflation, equal to about $12 trillion dollars.

WWII cost America more than 400,000 killed in action, and nearly 100,000 still missing in action.

The Iraq war has, so far, cost the US about $160 billion, which is roughly what 9/11 cost New York . It has also cost about 2,200 American lives, which is roughly 2/3 of the 3,000 lives that the Jihad snuffed on 9/11. But the cost of not fighting and winning WWII would have been unimaginably greater -- a world dominated by German and Japanese Nazism.

This is not 60 minutes TV shows, and 2 hour movies in which everything comes out okay. The real world is not like that. It is messy, uncertain, and sometimes bloody and ugly. Always has been, and probably always will be.

The bottom line is that we will have to deal with Islamic terrorism until we defeat it, whenever that is. It will not go away if we ignore it.

If the US can create a reasonably democratic and stable Iraq , then we have an " England " in the Middle East, a platform, from which we can work to help modernize and moderate the Middle East. The history of the world is the clash between the forces of relative civility and civilization, and the barbarians clamoring at the gates. The Iraq war is merely another battle in this ancient and never ending war. And now, for the first time ever, the barbarians are about to have nuclear weapons. Unless somebody prevents them.

We have four options:

1. We can defeat the Jihad now, before it gets nuclear weapons.
2. We can fight the Jihad later, after it gets nuclear weapons (which may be as early as next year, if Iran's progress on nuclear weapons is what Iran claims it is)
3. We can surrender to the Jihad and accept its dominance in the Middle East, now, in Europe in the next few years or decades, and ultimately in America.
4. Or, we can stand down now, and pick up the fight later when the Jihad is more widespread and better armed, perhaps after the Jihad has dominated France and Germany and maybe most of the rest of Europe . It will, of course, be more dangerous, more expensive, and much bloodier.

If you oppose this war, I hope you like and accept the idea that your children, or grandchildren, may live in an Islamic America under the Mullahs and the Sharia (Islamic law), an America that resembles Iran today.

The history of the world is the history of civilizational clashes, cultural clashes. All wars are about ideas, ideas about what society and civilization should be like, and the most determined always win. Those who are willing to be the most ruthless always win. The pacifists always lose, because the anti-pacifists kill them.

Remember, perspective is every thing, and America's schools teach too little history for perspective to be clear, especially in the young American mind.

The Cold war lasted from about 1947 at least until the Berlin Wall came down in 1989. Forty-two years. Europe spent the first half of the 19th century fighting Napoleon, and from 1870 to 1945 fighting Germany.

World War II began in 1928, lasted 17 years, plus a ten year occupation, and the US still has troops in Germany and Japan.

World War II resulted in the death of more than 50 million people, maybe more than 100 million people, depending on which estimates you accept.

The US has taken more than 2,000 killed in action in Iraq.

The US took more than 4,000 killed in action on ONE morning of June 6, 1944, the first day of the Normandy Invasion to rid Europe of Nazi Imperialism.

In WWII the US averaged 2,000 KIA a week -- for four years.Most of the individual battles of WWII cost more Americans than the entire Iraq war has done so far.

But the stakes are at least as high ... A world dominated by representative governments with civil rights, human rights, and personal freedoms .. or a world dominated by a radical Islamic Wahhabi movement, by the Jihad, under the Mullahs and the Sharia (Islamic law).

Tokyo Rose

She had the best music on her station and most people just laughed.

The ship I was on was sunk no less than five times but each time Davey Jones threw her back up.

Tokyo Rose During World War II -- the Japanese developed a way to demoralize the American forces.

Psychological warfare experts developed a message they felt would work. They gave the script to their famous broadcaster "Tokyo Rose" and every day she would broadcast the same message packaged in different ways, hoping it would have a negative impact on American GI's morale.

What was that demoralizing message? It had three main points:

1. Your President is lying to you.
2. This war is illegal.
3. You cannot win the war.

Does this sound familiar?

Is it because

Tokyo Hillary,
Tokyo Harry,
Tokyo John,
Tokyo Teddy,
Tokyo Nancy,

have picked up the same message and are broadcasting it on

Tokyo CNN,
Tokyo ABC,
Tokyo CBS,
Tokyo NBC,
to our troops?

The only difference is that they claim to support our troops before they demoralize them.

Come to think of it, Tokyo Rose told the troops she was on their side, too.

-----

It's not only the negative message itself, but the theme is repeated again and again. This is based on the concept that if you hear a lie often enough, you begin to believe it.

Did you watch M*A*S*H? there was a recurring character who was heard only over the PA system. She was the Korean equivalent of Tokyo Rose; I can't remember the name of the character. I remember one episode where she told the 4077th that their wives and girlfriends were unfaithful. That they were playing around with the Toms, Dicks, and Harrys who had stayed behind. Col. Blake began thinking about a Harry who worked at their country club back in Bloomington, Illinois. He thought it through and realized Lorraine would never fool around with this guy. But, for just a moment he bought into the propaganda.

I'm not endorsing the war in Iraq, nor am I saying we shouldn't be there. What I am saying is that we each have to think about the motives behind what is being said, and who is saying it. Think for ourselves and make a decision based on fact and logic and not pure emotion.

All we seem to hear from the media is negative. Think about it: there must be something that the US and coalition forces are doing right. But we never hear it. I have heard on ::gasp:: other than mainstream media that more people in Iraq have electricity than have ever had electricity before; that more children are going to school than have gone before and more. Maybe all of this is false. I don't know, I'm not there.

I will defend the right of anyone to say that President Bush is wrong. It's a right guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States. I will say that the people listening to the politicians and pundits have the responsibility to think about

what is being said
why it's being said
who is saying it
what could that person gain by saying it

One other thing I remember from M*A*S*H. Hawkeye's childhood friend was in Korea as a soldier, but was using the experience to write a book. He was shot and died of his injuries. Hawkeye is devastated by the death of his friend (who wouldn't be?) and Henry Blake tells him something that he learned in Officer Training School. There are two rules of war: Young men die, and doctors can't change rule number 1.

I hate the fact that young people, men and women, are dying in another country. I wish it could be different. But wishing won't make that happen. I do believe that if we pull out now, without making a real difference in Iraq, whatever that difference is, then we have failed and those young people will have died in vain.

And that is the real tragedy. That there was no good that came from those deaths. No matter what side of the political fence you are on, you have to look at what's being said and weigh the facts and think without emotion. Is that easy? I hope not. I want it to be hard. I want the people making those decisions to do so knowing that they hold lives in their hands. I want them to have sleepless nights. And I want them to think about their own sons and daughters, their grandsons and granddaughters. If they can make a decision knowing that their own child could die as a result of their action, then they will be more careful with the lives of your child. Please don't think that it's easier if you don't have kids. It shouldn't be any easier to make those decisions. If it is, you should be doing something else in life.

I don't have any answers. I don't have access to all the facts. I just know I want those who make the decisions to do so carefully and deliberately. And that those who disagree do so with intelligence and the respect they want given to them.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

The seventh in the Harry Potter series will be released July 21, 2007. If you enjoyed the six previous Harry Potter books, this is your chance to pre-order your copy. I haven't read the books, but I enjoy the movies very much. One day, I'll probably get around to reading the books.

Click on the Amazon link on the sidebar.

Polls

I was reading headlines a few minutes ago and came across one that said “Poll: Most Think Country on Wrong Track” and that got me thinking about polls.

The purpose of a poll, no matter the topic, is to get an idea of what the public is thinking about that topic. So polling companies contact a number of people that they think is a representative group. But, I have a problem with the whole concept of polls.

Polls (sometimes also known as surveys) are geared toward specific demographics which include ages, gender, socio-economic segments of society, politics, religion, sporting preferences, marital status, education levels, and a myriad of other factors. I’m not sure what the population of the United States is today, but I think we can agree that it would be next to impossible to talk to every citizen. Some people refuse to participate, others don’t meet the criteria of the polls, and some people will respond they way they think they should respond, not how they really think.

What I’m getting at is that polls can be slanted to a specific result, by design or ignorance. I recall in the 2004 election it was being reported that Senator John Kerry was leading in exit polls by a wide margin. As I was leaving the building where I voted, there was a young man asking people to talk to him. I don’t remember the exact words he used, but he was requesting Democrats to come over to him. He didn't want to talk to any other party affiliation. Turns out, he was doing an exit poll, asking people how they voted. But, by asking for only Democratic voters to respond to his exit polls, the results were being slanted in Senator Kerry’s favor. I’m sure some percentage of the voters he talked to voted for President Bush, but most would have voted for the Senator. And we all know how that election turned out.

Since polls can’t possibly get a true response from every citizen, it can only poll so many people. And depending on the poll, that number can vary from a few hundred to thousands to hundreds of thousands. So, a poll that says “Most Think Country on Wrong Track” can only speak to the people they contacted. In this case, if the poll was done in, say, Seattle or San Francisco, very liberal cities, most of the people polled would probably say that the country is on the wrong track. Had the poll been done in say, a smaller city in Middle America (one of the “red” states), for example, the results might have been very different. I’m not disagreeing with the results of the poll, I just don’t know the questions asked, where the poll was conducted, or who was polled.

So, remember when reading any poll that the results only represent the opinions of the people they actually polled. You may not know the demographics of the people polled, or even the honesty of the people doing the poll.

Words Women Use...

I wasn't sure we women should let men have the advantage of knowing what we really mean, but then, I remembered, unless boobs, beer or sports are involved, they won't pay attention anyway!

FINE ~ This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES ~ This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING ~ If you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING, this means something and you should be on your toes. NOTHING is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last FIVE MINUTES and endwith the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) ~ This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and will end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) ~ This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you in about FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH ~ This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.

SOFT SIGH ~ Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY ~ This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO ~ This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS ~ A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say "you're welcome."

THANKS A LOT ~ This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

What Really Matters

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America title.

4. Name ten people who have won either the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia " (Charles Schultz)

CHIHUAHUA PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

4. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never be yours.

6. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

7. If I saw it first, it's mine.

8. If you are playing with something else and put it down, it's mine.

9. If I am chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

10. If it used to be yours, get over it.

11. If it's broken, it's yours.

As a person owned by two Chihuahua's, I can attest that the above is true.

Some Telephone History

After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year,Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientist dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read:

"English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, Texas newspapers reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 5000 mters in West Texas, scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have therefore concluded that 5000 years ago Texas inhabitants were already using wireless technology."

A man owned a small ranch in Texas. The Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes $10 per week, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night."

"That's the guy I want to talk to -- the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the rancher.

The defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

The jury foreman replied: "Yes, we did look, but your client didn't."

New Telephone Greeting

Wouldn't it be pretty amazing, if this caught on, all over the country...?

"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES

Press "1" if you speak English.

Press '2' to disconnect until you can.

Suggestion

Let me make a suggestion. When you've lost a loved one, and are making arrangements, have a notepad with you and make notes.

I went to the funeral home yesterday to pay for the services for my husband. I found out they do not take credit cards, only cash or checks. Who carries cash in the thousands? And I had forgotten my checkbook. I was a bit embarrassed when the funeral director said, "I told you only cash or check." I'm sure he did, but my mind wasn't functioning as well on Friday as it was today. Not that I'm functioning at 100% yet, but definitely better than within 24 hours of my husband's death.

So, I'll be going back today with a check.

Interesting Thought

A letter to the editor of a newspaper from a reader in Riddle, Oregon. led to the following thoughts:

I have to work for a living and I receive a paycheck for that work. In order to receive that paycheck I have to pass a random urine test. I have no problem with that.

From my paycheck, the government takes taxes and uses the money as they see fit. I have no problem with that. Some of that money goes to welfare recipients. In general, I have no problem with that, but I do have a question.

Why do I have to pass a random urine test to get my paycheck when welfare recipients don't have the same requirement?

Here's one argument: many welfare recipients are single mothers who use their welfare money to take care of their children.

I certainly don't want to take money from children, but, if Mom can't pass a urine test, should she even have custody of those kids? I'm not advocating that she lose her kids, but maybe she can get treatment before losing custody? Is it in the best interest of those kids to be with a mother on drugs? Who can't feed, house and clothe her kids without assistance from welfare programs?

Another argument: many people on welfare can't get jobs.

Why not? Most local governments offer job training assistance. If education is a problem, take the training necessary to get a job that will welfare. Oh, the child situation again. hmmm...can't Mom make a deal with a friend or relative to take care of her kids until she gets a job? Then, Mom can repay the friend or relative by helping her to get job training.

Jobs aren't available? Not everyone wants to clean houses or flip burgers, I know I don't, but it brings in a paycheck.

There are certain jobs that Americans won't do? Well, in a western state recently, I believe it was a packinghouse advertised for workers after losing most of their staff to immigration arrests. Hundreds of Americans showed up, some carrying different types of documentation showing they were American citizens. And guess what? They spoke English!

Can't live on minimum wage? Well, it's going up to $7.25 an hour soon, thanks to the Democratic Congress. Minimum wage is entry level. When the employee shows they are willing to work (showing up, showing up on time, doing the least they have to do - just make an effort), they will get a raise. Those who show more than just an effort will go further, but that's another post.

Cut back on the cell phones, the iPods, the name-brand shoes, and clothes and maybe you can get by. Ladies, you might have to do without the two inch nails and manicures and hair coloring and fancy (and maybe not-so-fancy) do's for awhile. When you're making a living and paying bills, you can do that again once the bills are paid and food is in the cupboards.

I'm not saying all, but a lot of people on welfare are also on drugs. Why do you think the most drug ridden areas of town tend to be in the "low-rent" areas? I see it everyday in my job and in the newspaper. Drug dealers and users come in all socio-economic flavors, but I'm not discussing anything but welfare recipients right now.

And no, I'm not saying that if drug testing were instituted to get a welfare check, anyone who tested positive should be arrested on the spot. But, maybe they could get counseling and treatment. And if after failing a specified number of tests in a certain period of time their checks stopped, well, maybe it would be a wake-up call for them.

In the meantime, isn't it worth a thought? Many of us have to pass a urine test in order to collect a paycheck. Shouldn't it be also required of those who get a welfare check?

Funeral Arrangements

My brother and I went to the funeral home Friday to make arrangements for my husband's remains.

I had decided that there would be no viewing. Because of his health, he really didn't have many friends here in Bradenton, and his family is scattered across east Florida, South Carolina, and Indiana. He will be cremated. That is what his family does and what my family does too. And, to be honest, I had to make arrangements that were as economical as possible. He had no insurance because of his health, and we have minimal savings. I had always intended to look into those insurance plans you see offered on TV and in mailings. You know the ones, no medical exam, a certain amount per month per age group, etc. I just hadn't gotten around to it. I thought there would be plently of time for that. Sure.

I've been asked about a service. I've decided that there will not be a memorial service; rather, we'll have a party in celebration of his life. I can't bring myself to do it right now, but in a few months when we've all had a chance to learn what our new "normal" is. His family has been kind enough to say that whatever I decide is fine with them.

As Scarlett said, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." Well, I won't go crazy, but I will think about it tomorrow, or at least another day.

Passing

My Other Half passed away Thursday evening after a short illness. Christmas evening he began to complain of shortness of breath and a heaviness in the chest. I recognized that the symptoms could be heart problems, but he didn't want to go to the ER and the symptoms eased off shortly after. I'd ask periodically over the next few days how he was doing and he would say he was better. He kept saying he didn't want to go to the ER.

On Wednesday, his father and stepmother visited and they all went out to lunch. I was at work and couldn't be with them. They were concerned as he had a couple of light-headed spells. Gerri convinced him that he should see a doctor as she had suffered with angina for some time and thought the symptoms were similar to hers. When I got home, he said he wanted to see a doctor. I asked if he wanted to go to the ER, but he said it wasn't necessary. I told him to call the doctor the next day and make an appointment for Friday, my next day off.

When I got home Thursday, he had called the doctor. Our doctor was on vacation and the nurse suggested that the best thing to do would be to go to the ER. I feel that an appointment could have been made with the on-duty doctor for evaluation, but that turned out to be unnecessary.

About 930 pm he said he wanted to go to the ER. I got him there in about 10 minutes and he was taken right in to a treatment room. They ran an EKG and took blood for tests. He was put on oxygen right away and since he was now in pain, he was given morphine. A cardiologist was called.

When the cardiologist got there he assured me that they would do all they could but that this was very serious. While I understood what he was saying, like most wives, I believed that this time would be different and he would be fine. The doctor was concerned that they would not be able to get him to the cath lab, and if they did, that he might code there. And in the event he didn't, because of his various health problems, they might not be able to do the catherization.

We raced through the hospital and I was shown to the waiting room. I called my brother who, angel that he is, came and stayed with me. While waiting, I prayed that God would do His will. Yes, I wanted MOH to survive, but only if it were God's will. Yes, I did a bit a pleading to let him live, I'm human enough for that. But, I have faith that God does what is best for each of us.

I heard a "code blue" called and said to John, my brother, that I didn't like that. I knew it was for MOH. A few minutes later, a nurse came and took us to the family room. She slipped and said "viewing room", corrected herself and said "family room." I knew then, in my heart, the worst had happened.

The doctor came in shortly after and told me that MOH had passed away. I was now a widow. That's still hard for me to really comprehend. He had advanced aterial disease, three arteries were nearly or completely closed. They did all they could, but in the end, his heart was just too weak to help them save him. They took me in to see him. He was peaceful. I talked to him for a few minutes, telling him that I would be alright. And I will be.

I take comfort knowing that he is now in God's presence and in perfect health, whole and complete in body. He is with his mother, brother, sister, beloved grandfather and grandmother. Those of us left behind, me, his father, stepmother, sister, niece, and friends, have to learn to live without his love for us, his humor, his intelligence, and his big, generous heart.

Sweetheart, I will always love you and miss you, but I will be alright.

Saddam to Hang

The appeals court has upheld the death sentence for Saddam Hussein, former dictator of Iraq. He is to be hanged within 30 days. Saddam is currently on trial for more crimes. If hanged before that trial ends, the trial will continue.

I am a proponent of the death penalty, but I never, even in this case, rejoice when someone is sentenced to death. I can't help but feel that sometime, this person deviated from a path where they could have been an asset to society.

If Saddam had never deviated from his original path, perhaps he could have lead Iraq into becoming a world power. With the oil Iraq has, the potential was there. But he chose a different path where he became a tyrant. Elections were held, but the citizens of Iraq had no choice but to vote for him. The women of Iraq, if they caught the eye of one or the other of his sons, knew they could be kidnapped and raped. In a world where women must remain virgins, this was devastating. And there could be no retribution. Fathers and brothers, and even husbands who protested could just disappear. That's if the woman was returned to her family and not murdered.

If a man chose to speak out again Saddam, he could be tortured and killed. The details of the torture can be found in any number of places. I won't describe what happened; it's so gruesome I can't bring myself to even try. When you think about the tortured being killed, you might think about hanging, being beaten to death, shot, stabbed, and maybe other methods of murder. Think about being shredded. Yes, that was an option.

No, I can't rejoice, but I can say that, in my opinion, it's just.

Christmas Card

For My Secular Progressive Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

For My Traditional Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

MARVELOUS INNOCENCE

It was the day AFTER Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene, when he noticed that the baby Jesus figure was missing from the cradle.

He immediately turned and went outside, and saw a little boy with a red wagon walking down the street. And in the wagon, was the figure of the infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that's in your wagon?"

The little boy smiled and replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?" asked the pastor.

The little boy replied, "Well, about a week before Christmas, I prayed and I told Jesus if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride in it!"

I've heard it before, but it's still worth repeating

Sad News from Washington, DC

No Nativity Scene in Washington , DC, this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC, this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable, and the entire capitol for that matter.

Frosty the Snowman

check it out at http://www.funsnap.com/cmas/frosty.swf

Another Beautiful Site for Christmas

Here's the link

Mary Did You Know?

A link to a version by Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd. Beautiful artwork to go with a beautiful song.

Lovely...just lovely.

Hanukkah Vocabulary
Part 1 - Answers

1. Dreidel - a children's game played with a small four-sided top with Hebrew letters marked on the sides, usu. at Hanukkah.

2. Kislev - the third month of the Jewish lunisolar calendar, occurring from late November through early December in the Gregorian calendar.

3. Latke - a pancake, esp. one made of grated potatoes.

4. Menorah - a candelabrum or candlestick with seven or nine branches, used in Jewish worship.

5. Miracle - an event that cannot be explained by the known laws of nature and is therefore attributed to a supernatural or divine power.

6. Temple - a building or place where a deity or deities are worshiped.

7. Candle - a cylindrical stick of wax or waxlike substance enclosing a wick and burned to give light.

Santa's Secret Wish

On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it year after year?"

"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?"

And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told that small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder and wise.

"The truth is that my sack is magic inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl and each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy
Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad,
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.

"Some homes are broken, and the children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives toys aren't enough.

"So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl and boy,
And I pray with them that they'll be given the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not, but gives.

"If only God hears me and answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace, and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.

"It's a very hard task, my smart little brother,
to give toys to some, and to give prayers to others.
But the prayers are the best gifts, the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.
That's part of the answer. The rest, my dear youth,
is that my sack is magic. And that is the truth.

"In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve Day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
Cause inside it are prayers, and hope. Not just toys
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.

"And do you know something? You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.
It's the center of lights, and love. It's your heart
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with the gifts 'neath your tree.
Open that sack called your heart and share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."

The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.
"Thanks for your secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," Said Santa, "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help? Will you use what you know?"
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand and whispered, "I will."

Received in email

Name That Christmas Carol - Answers

1. Listen to the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds - Hark the Herald Angels Sing

2. Embellish the interior passageways - Deck the Halls

3. Twelve o’clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival - It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

4. The Christmas preceding all others - The First Noel

5. Small municipality in Judi south of Jerusalem - O Little Town of Bethleham

6. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite in distinguished males -
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

7. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness - Silent Night

8. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals - Frosty the Snowman

9. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic resonant cups - Jingle Bells

10. In awe of the eventide of characterized by religiosity - Oh Holy Night

A Christmas Poem

If you see a fat man...
Who's jolly and cute
Wearing a beard
And a red flannel suit
And if he is chuckling
And laughing away
While flying around
In a miniature sleigh
With eight tiny reindeer
To pull him along
Then, friend, let's face it...
Your eggnog's too strong!

~author unknown~

Shalom aleichem shalom!

While Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Christ, our Jewish friends and neighbors celebrate Hanukkah, which begins this year on December 25th. I didn't want to simply ignore Hanukkah, but since it's not "my" holiday, I forget how important it is to much of the world. So, to my Jewish friends and readers, I wish you a Happy Hannukkah.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - The letters pour in from children around the world, telling two magical far-off figures their holiday wishes.

These missives aren't sent to Santa Claus. They come from Jewish boys and girls who, for so long, had no one to write each December. They're for an ageless Kansas City couple known simply by Yiddish derivatives for grandmother and grandfather, Bubbie and Zadie.

The story was created in 1981 by Danny Bloom, then a thirtysomething public relations professional at an Alaskan community college who wanted to pen a holiday narrative for Jewish children.

"I remember as a Jewish kid myself growing up in Massachusetts every winter reading the newspaper and seeing the TV shows about Santa Claus. Jewish kids couldn't participate," he said.

The story told of a diminutive grandma and grandpa, bundled up for the cold, who are able to fly through the skies on the first night of Hanukkah. Bubbie and Zadie once lived in Alaska but later moved to Kansas City to run a tailor shop. They visit children everywhere, bringing them stories and songs instead of gifts.

In 1985, his story was published as "Bubbie and Zadie Come to My House." It wasn't a huge sell but publicity surrounding its release kept children's letters coming by the thousands. Bloom answered them all with handwritten notes.

The popularity of Bubbie and Zadie has risen and fallen through the years, as Bloom moved to Japan and now, to Chiayi City, Taiwan, where he is a freelance writer.

He is 56, single, and rents a fifth-floor studio apartment. He rides a bicycle and motor scooter because he has no car and sends e-mails from an Internet cafe because he doesn't have a computer.

With his book out of print, many of Bloom's young writers have found it at a library, come across it on the Internet, or have parents who as children read the Bubbie and Zadie story themselves.

Using an address posted online, most children send letters the traditional way, though Bubbie and Zadie have also received e-mail.

Some of the letters amount to Jewish children's wish lists, but most are exactly what Bloom hoped for - messages of innocence and simplicity.

"Your Hanukkah story in the book is so beautiful and I enjoyed having Grammy read it to me," wrote a 7-year-old Kansas City girl.

"I was so happy to get your letter in the mail because here in Idaho there are not many Jewish people," said an 11-year-old girl from Boise. An 8-year-old boy from Teaneck, N.J, wrote: "My older sister says you might be fake! Are you?"

When responding, Bloom says, he tries to put himself in his own grandmother's frame of mind, not preaching about religion, just being a friendly older presence who treats children as his equals. He signs all his notes "Bubbie and Zadie."

Bloom calls the Bubbie and Zadie project his hobby. But with no synagogue to be found and Judaism virtually nonexistent in Taiwan, it may serve a larger purpose, too.

"This program connects me back to my own culture," he said. "These letters fill up my life with something I don't have."

Bloom's program is now in its 25th year, and he hopes that it might someday inspire a cartoon or film.

"It's my big dream that writing to Bubbie and Zadie would become a part of American Jewish culture," he said.

Above story By MATT SEDENSKY

find out more about Bubbie and Zadie at: http://bubbieandzadiefiles.blogspot.com

Letters to Bubbie and Zadie can be sent to Bubbie and Zadie's Tailor Shoppe, Offshore Global Maildrop, Post Office Box 1000, Chiayi City, 600-99, Taiwan.

Recipe for Holiday Fruit Cake

You'll need the following:

A cup of water
a cup of sugar
four large brown eggs
two cups of mixed dried fruit
a teaspoon of salt
a cup of brown sugar
lemon juic
nuts
A bottle of whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality
Take a large bowl
Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay.
Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer.
Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of alt.
Or something.
Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Spoon.
Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

The Dentist Visit

A guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

"Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!"

"That's probably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time."

"Why chrome?" the man asked.

"Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Hanukkah Vocabulary
Part 1

In an effort to enrich our lives by learning something of another religion (if, of course you are not Jewish), I've provided a vocabulary quiz for you, my loyal reader. I am not being PC by including Hanukkah during the Christian holidays, but rather embracing a very small part of the Jewish religion - it's language. And remember, the eight days of Hanukkah are important days in the Jewish religion. That they generally co-incide with the Christian holiday of Christmas is a reminder of the ancestry and history we share.

I'm not going to give you the word and ask you to define it; rather, I'll give you the definition and ask you to supply the word. I'll bet that most of you know alot of the words and may not even know it!

1. A children's game played with a small four-sided top with Hebrew letters marked on the sides, usu. at Hanukkah.

2. The third month of the Jewish lunisolar calendar, occurring from late November through early December in the Gregorian calendar.

3. A pancake, esp. one made of grated potatoes.

4. A candelabrum or candlestick with seven or nine branches, used in Jewish worship.

5. An event that cannot be explained by the known laws of nature and is therefore attributed to a supernatural or divine power.

6. A building or place where a deity or deities are worshiped.

7. A cylindrical stick of wax or waxlike substance enclosing a wick and burned to give light.

Santa Claus Around the World

In the United States and Canada, his name is Santa Claus. He flies through the sky in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer.

In England his name is Father Christmas. He looks much like Santa Claus, but he has a longer coat and a longer beard.

In Wales (a principality in the United Kingdom), Santa is called Sion Corn - this translates as "Chimney John" relating to the story that Santa comes down the chimney of each house to bring his gifts to the children within.

In France, he's known as Pere Noel. He is also called Pere Noel in Canada.

In Brazil and Peru, he's called Papai Noel.

In Germany, children get presents from Christkind, the Christ Child on the 24th of December. Also, in Germany Knecht Ruprecht and his helpers come on the 6th of December. Krampus brings coal or a wooden stick to the children that have not been good, Knecht Ruprecht brings mostly cookies, nuts and a small toy to the good children. Belsnickel - German version of Santa who carries a switch to beat the bad children. In Germany, Father Christmas can also be called der Weihnachtsmann.

In Poland, Santa is "Gwiazdor" ("star man") -- for the North Star. He visits children on Christmas Eve, bringing presents. The Christmas Eve meal begins once the first star is seen. "Swiety Mikolaj" (Saint Nicholas) was a cardinal in the Catholic Church, he visits children on December 6th and he brings presents, mostly sweets, which he leaves in children clean (it is very important) shoes.

In Costa Rica, Colombia, and parts of Mexico, the gift bringer is El Nino Jesus, "the infant Jesus."

In Puerto Rico, children receive gifts from the Three Kings on January 6th. Each child puts grass under their bed for the camels and in the morning the grass is replaced with gifts.

Jultomten or Tomten Sweden. Jultomten visits in the evening before Christmas day, pulling a big bag of julklappar (Christmas presents) in the deep snow.

På norsk (in Norwegian) "Julenissen" arrives on the evening of the 24th.

In the Netherlands, he is called Kerstman. He flies through the sky with his reindeers and puts gifts under the Christmas tree on the 25th of December. De Kerstman lives in Finland. His counterpart "Sinterklaas" is another saint, who is celebrated on the 5th of December.

Sinterklaas comes back every year from his home in Spain by steamboat, together with him are a whole group of "zwarte pieten" who help him while he's riding on the roofs - distributing gifts through the chimney.

In Finland, he is called Joulupukki and his home is in Lapland in the north part of Finland called Korvatunturl. Also in Finland, the Swedish-speaking Finns (finlandssvenskar) call him Julgubben.

In Spain the children the night of January 5th put their shoes under the Christmas tree and have presents from the Three Kings (Los Reyes Magos: Melchor, Gaspar and Baltasar). Santa Claus is called Papa Noel and there are children who have presents both days on December 25th (from Papa Noel) and on January 6th (from the Three Kings).

In Russia, he is called Grandfather Frost or Ded Moroz. Also, there is Babooska the person who was searching for Christ the night he was born. She spoke to the Three Wise Men or Three Kings on their way to find him, they offered their company to her. But she replied I am too old, so the Three Men went on without her and she set search the following day but the "King" had gone from his birth place and when Babooska heard the news she decided to give her presents for Christ to the childern in her country Russia every year on the 13th of Dec to make them happy.

He is also called Kriss Kringle - origin unknown.

He is also called St. Nick origin Turkey.

Karácsony Apó, is Santa in Hungarian.

In Italy, he is called Babbo Natale. Also, they recieve their presents on January 6th from the gift bringer an old lady called Befana.

Black Peter, St Nick's helper which originates from Morocco or Liberia.

In China, he is called Shengdan Laoren.

In Denmark they call him, Julemand.

In Hong Kong they call him Sing dan lo ian in Cantonese.

In Slovenia they call him Bozicek.

In Latvia Santa Claus is called Ziemmassve'tku veci'tis.

In the country Uruguay he is called Papá Noel.

In Lithuania Santa Claus is called Kaledu Senis.

In Portugal Santa Claus is known as Pai Natal. He brings presents on Christmas Eve. However, the portuguese tradition says the presents in that night are brought by the Newborn Jesus "Menino Jesus".

In Estonia he is called Jouluvana.

In Ireland he is called Santa Claus and children abbreviate this to just Santy.

Many children in the Hindu religion receive gifts from their god Ganesha during the Holiday Season.

In Austria, children get presents from Christkindl, the Christ Child on the 24th of December.

In Greece, Santa Claus is called "Aghios Vassilis" and he comes on the night of 31st December leaving the presents under the tree for the children to find them on New Year's Day.

In Hawaii, Santa Claus is known as Kanakaloka.

In Armenian, Santa Clause is Gaghant Baba and he brings presents to all the good girls and boys.

The name for Santa in Yugoslavia is Deda Mraz.

In Croatia, he is called Bozicnjak.

In Bulgaria they call him Diado Coleda.

In El Salvador, for some families Santa Claus brings gifts on Christmas Eve to those children who are well behaved. People get together with the family, children go to bed and find a gift on December 25th.

In Urdu he is called Baba Christmass.

In Romania, Santa Claus is Mos Craciun and he comes on the night of the 24th of December bringing presents. Also, the night of the 5th of December is Mos Nicolae (St. Nicholas) puts candies in the good children boots or a stick in the bad ones.

Send the ACLU a Christmas Card

It has been suggested that with the ACLU trying to make all of us drop "Merry Christmas" that we send them a Christmas card and really frustrate them.

Hope you have one religious Christmas card and a stamp so it could be mailed to:

ACLU
125 Brood Street 18th floor
NY, NY 10004

Christmas Has Been Cancelled!!!

And it's all YOUR fault!

You told Santa you've been GOOD this year.

And he died laughing!!

Name That Christmas Carol!

1. Listen to the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds.

2. Embellish the interior passageways.

3. Twelve o’clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival.

4. The Christmas preceding all others.

5. Small municipality in Judi south of Jerusalem.

6. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite in distinguished males.

7. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness.

8. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals.

9. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic resonant cups.

10. In awe of the eventide of characterized by religiosity.

answers next week

The Month Before Christmas!

Twas the month before Christmas,
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See, the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing
About Shepherds, and Wise Men, and Angels and things.

"It might hurt people's feelings,"the teachers would say.
"December 25th is just a holiday."
Yet the shoppers were readywith cash, checks and credit,
Pushing folks to the floor just to get it!

CDs by Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod,
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down,
At Lowe's, the word "Christmas" was nowhere to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples, at Penney's and Sears'
you won't hear the word Christmas;
It won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate,
There arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus,
In all public matter.

And we spoke not a word,
As they took away our faith,
Forbidden to speak
Of salvation and Grace!

The true Gift of Christmas
Was exchanged and discarded.
The reason for the season,
Stopped before it started.

As you celebrate "Winter Break" Under your "Dream" or "Wish" tree,
Sipping your Starbucks, Please listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, Choose what you'll say ...
SHOUT "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"- NOT "Happy Holiday" !

GOOD LORD, HERE WE GO AGAIN

"A Christmas-themed event to raise money at a public elementary school in Warwick, N.Y., has been altered to accommodate a parent's complaints that the program would illegally spotlight a 'religious" figure' - Santa Claus. 'Breakfast With Santa' has since been changed to 'Winter Wonderland Breakfast,' and -- in an effort to be inclusive of all beliefs -- the bearded one will now be joined at the Dec. 9 event by Frosty the Snowman.

"Organizers made the changes after one parent charged that she and others in the community were offended that the Parent Teacher Association at the Sanfordville Elementary School was sponsoring a program geared toward one religion. . . . That parent, who did not wish to have her name used, wrote a letter to the school board asserting that Santa represents Christmas -- a Christian holiday -- and by law, a public school is not allowed to promote religion."

- CNS News, 11/30/06

People, we have got to get rid of this PC mindset that so many of us have developled in the last twenty years or so.

Christmas itself, is indeed a religious holiday. I do not dispute that. However, I have never read in the Bible an account of Santa being present at the birth of Christ. He doesn't carry a Bible or espouse belief in Christ. So, how is he a religious figure? Maybe because he rewards children for being nice, not naughty? As Christians, we want our children to behave nicely, at home or in public. But isn't this true of all parents, Christian or not? Believers or not? They are reflections of us, especially outside our immediate influence when we are not present to give guidance or correction as needed.

Santa represents the secular side of Christmas, not the religious side. Santa is celebrated by those who who do not believe in Christ, or those, like the vast majority of us, who want to enjoy both sides of Christmas. And yes, Christians can enjoy the secular side of Christmas every bit as much as the religious side.

I believe in the reasons that Christ was born. I love going to Christmas programs at church and singing the hymns that are associated with the birth of Christ. I love being reminded of "the reason for the season". I also enjoy the secular side. I like the decorations, the gift giving (and receiving), and the food! I love the songs and the joyous celebration of the season. I love that people seem to be just a little nicer to each other.

Yes, the two sides intermix. They are separate sides of the coin, two threads woven into the cloth. It's hard to conceive of the holiday without one or the other. But, to make Santa Claus a "religious" figure, is just ridiculous. Christ has been removed from the schools. Now Santa? Unbelieveable!

Isn't there someone somewhere who can tell this parent that they are being, yes, I'll say it, stupid? The parent who objected to Santa has the right to their opinion, that goes without saying. But there is nothing in the Constitution that says the parent is protected from being offended.

Am I offended that the program was changed? Am I offended that Frosty has been invited to appear with Santa? No, I'm not. I am offended that Santa has been declared a religious figure. I'm offended that the school caved to one parent. I'm offended that the parent would not allow herself to be identified. If she feels so strongly about this, she should own it. She's not proud of the fact that she has changed an icon like Santa from a secular figure to a religious figure?

One more thought. It wasn't until about 1935 that the notion of separation of church and state came into being. I don't remember the details of how this all started in that courtroom, but maybe we ought to revisit this issue. Especially now that Santa has been made into a religious figure.