Three Good Arguments

That Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

God is like ...

ALLSTATE .... You're in good hands with Him.

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

The Kiss...

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

She is pregnant.

When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

And people say animals are dumb.

Nothing Better Than Friendship

from email - first of a series

For The Ladies

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her step mother to exchange her dress, but she refused. "Absolutely not - I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother about the dress issue who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!"

Something To Offend Everyone!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s....t."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

If you were offended by any of these, register your objections with www.boortz.com. That's where I got 'em

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf country club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked"

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, go ahead and make them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Alzheimer's Eye Test - Answer

THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's.

The reasoning behind is that the brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends. It will drive them crazy! And keep them occupied for several minutes.

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Press Release - Reform Tax Policy Now

America First Party
1630 A 30th Street #111
Boulder, Colorado 80301

http://www.AmericaFirstParty.org

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

REFORM TAX POLICY NOW Boulder, CO - The America First Party believes the American people deserve a tax system that is fair and does not attempt to control them. The Party seeks the elimination of the income and property taxes, the dissolution of the IRS, and a return to a tax system envisioned by our Nation's founders.

National Chairman Dan Charles stated: "For years the Republican Party promised that once in power, they would fundamentally reform the way Americans were taxed. They have controlled Congress since 1994. They have held the Presidency since 2000. Yet nothing has changed. Their temporary and miniscule tax cuts to date have merely fiddled about the edges. The GOP continues the enslavement of the American people to the Federal Leviathan."

National Press Secretary Romelle Winters added, "President Bush and the GOP Congressional Leadership established a 'Blue Ribbon' panel on tax reform and simplification. Its report, like the current bloated tax code, was complex, conflicting, convoluted, and bewildering. Republicans lay taxes just like Democrats--to advance their own form of social engineering. Our government spends too much and burdens our people and their children with the bill. The American people should decide their own tax rate, not career politicians who trade tax loopholes and spending pork for campaign contributions."

Mr. Charles continued, "It is time to rip the income tax and the IRS up by the roots and toss them on the bonfire of history. It is no one's business how much you earn, least of all the government's. It is no one's business how you spend your money, least of all the government's. By returning to a tax system based on tariffs, excise and sales taxes, and user fees, the American people would be able to decide how much they are taxed by their spending habits."

Mr. Charles concluded, "Some claim that the GOP is better on this issue than Democrats. But that is like saying the slave master who beats you nearly to death three days a week is better than the slave master who beats you five days a week. It may be true, but we deserve better."

In 2002, the America First Party endorsed the FairTax, which eliminates all income taxes and puts in their place a revenue neutral uniform national retail sales tax, as a good first step toward fiscal and moral responsibility. To learn more about the Party's position on taxes, follow this link to the tax plank of our platform:

http://www.americafirstparty.org/docs/platform.shtml#taxreform

---The America First Party was founded in April 2002 and is focused on electing principled citizen statesmen who will preserve and protect our people and our sovereignty, promote economic growth and independence, encourage the traditional values of faith, family, and responsibility, ensure equality before the law in protecting those rights granted by the Creator, and clean up our corrupted political system. In 2004, the AFP elected two-thirds of its candidates to public office.

Contacts: Dan Charles,
National Chairman
1-866-SOS-USA1, ext 4

Romelle Winters,
Press Secretary
1-866-SOS-USA1, ext 2

When women enter middle age,

it gives men a pause.

God is like...

DELTA .... He's ready when you are.

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and He asked: "My child, what is your greatest wish for today?"

I responded:

"Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much."

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end.

TO: GOD:
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

The Fair Tax

The FairTax was created by first asking the American people what they wanted out of a tax system, and then having a team of respected economists design a tax system that met those demands. The FairTax replaces the income tax and all other federal taxes with a national consumption tax. The FairTax is levied only once, at the point of purchase on new goods and services. The simplicity of the FairTax frees Americans from our current overwhelming tax code and unshackles the U.S. economy.

The FairTax:

*Abolishes the IRS
*Closes all tax loopholes and brings fairness to taxation
*Maintains our current Social Security and Medicare benefits
*Brings transparency and accountability to tax policy
*Allows American products to compete fairly
*Reimburses the tax on purchases of basic necessities
*Enables retirees to keep their entire pension
*Enables workers to keep their entire paycheck

http://www.fairtax.org/

It's An Animal's Life

Wow....I really enjoyed that party last night...really, I did...yeah, I did.....

from email

For The Ladies

TO BE 6 AGAIN

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be six again." she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb butt!!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

If all of the women left the country

there would be a stagnation.

Billy Bob's pregnant sister...

was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are just fine."

"After all this time," she says, "do they have names?"

"Yes ma'am," the doctor says. "Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's ...Well, not the brightest bulb in the family pack."

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?"

"The girl is Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew"

Alzheimer's Eye Test

Count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

How many?

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

— Robin Williams.

Taps

Day is done, gone the sun,

From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;

All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

Fading light, dims the sight,

And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.

From afar, drawing nigh, falls the night.

Thanks and praise, for our days,

'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, neath the sky;

As we go, this we know, God is nigh.

Sun has set, shadows come,

Time has fled, Scouts must go to their beds

Always true to the promise that they made.

While the light fades from sight,

And the stars gleaming rays softly send,

To thy hands we our souls, Lord, commend.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD , INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

You're a Grand Old Flag
by George M. Cohan

You're a grand old flag,You're a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.

Ev'ry heart beats true'neath the Red, White and Blue,

Where there's never a boast or brag.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

Keep your eye on the grand old flag.

You're a grand old flag,You're a high flying flag

And forever in peace may you wave.

You're the emblem of The land I love.

The home of the free and the brave.

Ev'ry heart beats true'neath the Red, White and Blue,

Where there's never a boast or brag.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

Keep your eye on the grand old flag.

America
by Rev. Samuel F. Smith

My country, 'tis of Thee,
Sweet Land of Liberty
Of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountain side
Let Freedom ring.

Our fathers' God to Thee,
Author of Liberty,
To thee we sing,
Long may our land be bright
With Freedom's holy light,
Protect us by thy might
Great God, our King.

Thy safeguard, Liberty,

The school shall ever be,

Our Nation's pride!

No tyrant hand shall smite,

While with encircling might

All here are taught the Right

With Truth allied.

Grand birthright of our sires,

Our altars and our fires

Keep we still pure!

Our starry flag unfurled,

The hope of all the world,

In peace and light impearled,

God hold secure!

This Land is Your Land
words and music by Woody Guthrie©1956
(renewed 1984), 1958
(renewed 1986) and 1970
TRO-Ludlow Music, Inc. (BMI)

Chorus:

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me

As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

The sun comes shining as I was strolling

The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling

The fog was lifting a voice come chanting

This land was made for you and me

Chorus

As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there

And that sign said - no tress passin'

But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!

Now that side was made for you and me!

Chorus

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple

Near the relief office - I see my people

And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'

If this land's still made for you and me.

Chorus (2x)

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy
by George M. Cohan

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

A Yankee Doodle, do or die

A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam

Born on the Fourth of July

I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

She's my Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee Doodle came to London

Just to ride the ponies

I am the Yankee Doodle Boy

God Bless The U.S.A.
by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,next to you
and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,next to you
and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt
I love this land,God bless the USA.

God Bless America

Words and music by Irving Berlin©

Copyright 1938, 1939 by Irving Berlin©

Copyright Renewed 1965, 1966 by Irving Berlin©

Copyright Assigned to the Trustees of the God Bless America Fund International Copyright Secured.

All Rights Reserved.

Used by Permission

"While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,

Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free,

Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,

As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer. "

God Bless America,

Land that I love.

Stand beside her, and guide her

Thru the night with a light from above.

From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans, white with foam

God bless America, My home sweet home.

America the Beautiful
Words by Katharine Lee Bates,

Melody by Samuel Ward

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!

America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!

America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice, for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

Yankee Doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony;

Stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni.

Chorus:

Yankee Doodle keep it up, Yankee Doodle dandy,

Mind the music and the step and with the girls be handy.

Father and I went down to camp along with Captain Gooding

And there we saw the men and boys, as thick as hasty pudding.

(Chorus)

There was Colonel Washington, upon a strapping stallion,

A-giving orders to his men, I guess there was a million.

(Chorus)

And there I saw a cannon barrel as big as mother's basin,

And every time they touched it off they scampered like the nation.

(Chorus)

Prayer for Our Troops

Dear Heavenly Father, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need.

Mexican Standoff

I don’t know how everybody else feels about it, but to me I think Hispanic people in this country, legally or illegally, made a huge public relations mistake with their recent demonstrations.

I don’t blame anybody in the world for wanting to come to the United States of America, as it is a truly wonderful place. But when the first thing you do when you set foot on American soil is illegal it is flat out wrong and I don’t care how many lala land left heads come out of the woodwork and start trying to give me sensitivity lessons.

I don’t need sensitivity lessons, in fact I don’t have anything against Mexicans, I just have something against criminals and anybody who comes into this country illegally is a criminal and if you don’t believe it try coming into America from a foreign country without a passport and see how far you get.

What disturbs me about the demonstrations is that it’s tantamount to saying, “I am going to come into your country even if it means breaking your laws and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

It’s an “in your face” action and speaking just for me I don’t like it one little bit and if there were a half dozen pairs of gonads in Washington bigger than English peas it wouldn’t be happening.

Where are you, you bunch of lilly livered, pantywaist, forked tongued, sorry excuses for defenders of The Constitution? Have you been drinking the water out of the Potomac again?

And even if you pass a bill on immigration it will probably be so pork laden and watered down that it won’t mean anything anyway. Besides, what good is another law going to do when you won’t enforce the ones on the books now?

And what ever happened to the polls guys? I thought you folks were the quintessential finger wetters. Well you sure ain’t paying any attention to the polls this time because somewhere around eighty percent of Americans want something done about this mess, and mess it is and getting bigger everyday.

This is no longer a problem, it is a dilemma and headed for being a tragedy. Do you honestly think that what happened in France with the Muslims can’t happen here when the businesses who hire these people finally run out of jobs and a few million disillusioned Hispanics take to the streets?

If you, Mr. President, Congressmen and Senators, knuckle under on this and refuse to do something meaningful it means that you care nothing for the kind of country your children and grandchildren will inherit.

But I guess that doesn’t matter as long as you get re-elected.Shame on you. Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels
April 3, 2006

http://www.multimedia-interactive.com/cdb/view_topic.php?id=1125&forum_id=13

God is like...

SCOTCH TAPE .... You can't see him, but you know He's there.

Angels Walk Among Us

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the air.
"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
"She struggled to get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
"On where the back seat once had been,"
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
"She did not hear them cry, "
"And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "
Then firemen came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back, "
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
"And was traveling alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
"In beseeching supplication, "
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
"Their jeans are blue to match.""
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car, "
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
"And gave them each a cone, "
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
"I've searched the area high and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene, "
"I guess, and that is very bad."
"The mother hugged the twins and said, "
"While wiping at a tear, "
"He could not flee the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."
"The cop just looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came "
"And left a kiss for you."" "
He told us not to worry
"And that you would be all right, "
And then he put us in this car with
"The pretty, flashing light. "
"We wanted him to stay with us, "
"Because we miss him so, "
"But Mommy, he just hugged us tight "
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
"And told us not to fuss, "
"And he said to tell you, Mommy, "
"He's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
"That what they spoke was true, "
"For she recalled their dad's last words, "
" I will watch over you."
The firemen's notes could not explain
"The twisted, mangled car, "
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
"But on the cop's report was scribed, "
"In print so very fine, "
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

Circle of Friends

We should consider all of our friends a blessing.

Let your friends know you are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.

It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.

But the treasure inside for you to see,

Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.

What do humans understand?

The Dixie Chicks and Patrotism

I’ve sort of stayed away from the Dixie Chicks flap over the last couple of years. One reason is that I believe in the 1st Amendment. The Chicks have the right to believe in what they believe and they have the right to express that belief. My ancestors, nine generations back, and the current 10th and 11th generations, fought in wars since the Revolution to guarantee that right. I expect future generations of my family will do the same.

I finally came across this quote and had to say something:

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," (Natalie) Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

I decided that “patriotism” needed to be defined. Dictionary.com defines it as:

Love of and devotion to one's country.

and

love of country and willingness to sacrifice for it [syn: nationalism]

There is nothing anywhere that says Ms. Maines has to be patriotic. But, Ms. Maines’ lack of understanding why people feel patriotic is part of the problem.

Ms. Maines and others like her apparently confuse “patriotism” with “cultism”. If you are conservative and “patriotic” you accept what the government says without question. Well, in America there are a lot of people who are protesting government actions everyday. And, they are allowed to do so. It comes under the 1st Amendment – Freedom of Speech. Everyone is allowed to express their patriotism in whatever way they choose - until they break a law. We are still a land of laws and if we didn't have laws there would be no America.

Going back to the question, why should you be patriotic? Because you care about your country. Being patriotic means believing you live in the best country in the world, that your countrymen are the most generous, most caring, and most willing to give of themselves to their country. Being patriotic does not mean blindly accepting what your leaders say, but believing that your country is the best in the world despite what your leaders have done or said. It’s love of country and what it stands for, or what you believe it could stand for.

I believe that America is the greatest country in the world. One of the reasons it is the best is because we have the right to say what we think, no matter how ill-advised, stupid, or idiotic it is. However, and this is one of the things I think some people don’t understand: there is no Constitutional guarantee or personal right to not to suffer repercussions for what we say. Too many people think that they can say whatever they want and they can't suffer repercussions for it (Hollywood celebrities come to mind). Ms. Maines and the Chicks alienated their fan base when they made their remarks. Their fans have the same right Ms. Maines has to say what they think. In the case of the fans, they chose to not attend concerts, and not purchase CD’s. Concert dates have been changed and even cancelled because they cannot fill the arenas. If as musicians they are willing to accept that their fan base has left them, because of their spoken opinions, then they must understand they have to accept the consequences.

Ms. Maines may not understand the need for patriotism, but it’s part and parcel of being a citizen - of any country. Again, I want you to understand that I am not calling Ms. Maines or anyone else unpatriotic or un-American because they do not believe as I do. If they don’t understand the need for patriotism, I don't think they can feel the same elation and pride I do when I see the Flag being flown, or hear the National Anthem, God Bless America, or America the Beautiful. I feel badly that they live such apparent negative lives that they can’t see the good in their country and in their fellow countrymen.

I feel sorry for them.

It's An Animal's Life

How long do we have to wait for dinner?

from email

Who Will Do The Dishes?

(adult content warning)

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until , one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet herparents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says.

And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a Huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on thestairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.

So he re aches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the dishes!"

For The Ladies

Sounds like the perfect meal to me!

All of the "For The Ladies" series was shamelessly stolen from Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta. If you haven't been to GOC Central, you are missing a treat.

Support The FairTax

You'll never have to fill out another 1040 again

www.fairtax.org

Comment Deleted

I just deleted a comment from the post in reference to the Fair Tax. Obviously from someone who is not a supporter of the tax. But, that is not the reason I deleted it.

The reason I deleted it was because it was a post in itself. Yes, it made claims that I don't agree with, such as "H.R. 25 would advance conservative ideals and principles." As I understand HR 25, it can be supported by anyone, liberals and conservatives alike.

He also ties in line item veto to the FairTax. Funny, I don't remember seeing anything about the line item veto in the bill, nor do I remember hearing Neal Boortz, Congressman John Linder, or Herman Cain, all vocal proponents of the FairTax mentioning it. I don't remember seeing it in either version of the FairTax book, either. In fact, this is the first time I have heard line item veto tied to the FairTax by anyone, proponent or opponent.

And before the author of that "comment", or anyone else, accuses me of ignoring his 1st Amendment rights, I will remind them that this is MY blog. I make the decision of what is posted here and what is not. I choose to post and to link to articles and sites that support the FairTax. That is my right. Nor do I have to link to, or provide links to other sites. If you want to find it, do a Google search.

It is my belief that the author of the "comment" does not understand the FairTax at all.

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

Boudreaux

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day and he done run outa night crawler baits. He be bout ready to leave when he seen a snake wif a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like dem frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.

Dat snake, he be a cotton mouf water moccasin, so he had to be real careful or he'd git bit. He snuk up behin' dat snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrap hisself roun' Boudreaux's arm try'n to git hisself free.

But Boudreaux, he had a real good grip on de snake's haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.

Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bibs and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snake's mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs kinda roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat, Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'.

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin' tappin' on his barefoot toe.

He slowly look down and dare wuz dat water moccasin wif two more frogs........

T-Shirt Wisdom

Time flies when you’re having rum

Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog, but you're never friendless if you have a dog.

--Douglas Mallock

Perhaps We Need a Tea Party Again

Lyrics and music by: Jeff Parnell

One night in Boston Harbor, the tea flew overboard.
They said, "We don't owe King George a thing, we answer to our Lord."
They built this land of freedom, but things have changed since then.
Perhaps we need a tea party again.

They passed the 16th amendment, and the income tax was law.
But it punishes achievement, and that's just one of many flaws.
Then along came withholding, we don't know what we pay in.
Perhaps we need a tea party again.

There's a better way to pay the bills, and the Fair Tax is its name.
We can fully fund this government, and end these silly games.
We can save Social Security, and Medicare it's true.
And the Congress needs to hear all this from You.
Career politicians love the power of tax and spend.
And it's time that all of us take a stand and reign them in.
This country is worth saving, and I'm telling you my friends,
"Perhaps we need a tea party again."

There's a better way to pay the bills, and the Fair Tax is its name.
We can fully fund this government, and end these silly games.
We can save Social Security, and Medicare it's true.
But the Congress needs to hear all this from You.
One night in Boston Harbor, the tea flew overboard.
They said, "We don't owe King George a thing, we answer to our Lord."
We built this land of freedom, but much has changed since then.
Perhaps we need a tea party again.

http://www.fairtaxscorecard.com/TeaParty/

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

"God," I said, "this is terrible! Why don't you do something?"

God was silent for a moment, and then spoke softly, "I have done something. I created you."

God is like...

ALKA-SELTZER .... Try him, you'll like Him

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,

Which God gave me to hold.

He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,A

nd all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,

Both my joys and sorrows I stored,

But though the gold became heavier each day,

The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,

I wanted to find out why,

And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,

Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,"

I wonder where my sorrows could be!"

He smiled a gentle smile and said,"

My child, they're all here with me.."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,

Why the gold and the black with the hole?

"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,

The black is for you to let go."

When I got my new dog...

I asked for strength that I might rear her perfectly;

I was given weakness that I might feed her more treats.

I asked for an obedient dog that I might feel proud;

I was given stubbornness that I might feel humble;

I asked for compliance that I might feel masterful;

I was given a clown that I might laugh.

I asked for a companion that I might not feel lonely;

I was given a best friend that I would feel loved.

I got nothing I asked for,

But everything that I needed.

-- Author Unknown

It's An Animal's Life

Done With Housework

from email

Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.

~Benjamin Franklin

For The Ladies

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Want to get the federal government out of your paycheck?

Support The FairTax.

www.fairtax.org

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing

T-Shirt Wisdom

What happens with the girlfriends STAYS with the girlfriends

FairTax Rally - Gainesville GA (Part 2)

Overflow crowd gathers to hear about Fair Tax system
By Jeff Hart

http://www.accessnorthga.com/news/hall/newfullstory.asp?ID=104628

GAINESVILLE - Rick Frommer of Murrayville said it didn't take him long to realize he was paying too much in taxes.

"The first time I got a paycheck when I was 14 or 15 years old and I saw all this money taken out of it I knew I didn't like it," he said.

Frommer was part of an overflow crowd at Longstreet Cafe Wednesday night that came to hear Herman Cain and others talk about the Fair Tax proposal, which has been proposed to legislators by FairTax.org.

According to its website and literature, FairTax.org is a non-profit, non-partisan, grassroots organization dedicated to replacing the current tax system. The plan states that it wants to:

- Abolish the IRS - Close all tax loopholes and brings fairness to taxation;

- Maintain our current Social Security and Medicare benefits;

- Bring transparency and accountability to tax policy;

- Allow American products to compete fairly;

- Reimburse the tax on purchases of basic necessities;

- Enable retirees to keep their entire pension, and;

- Enable workers to keep their entire paycheck.

Hall County Fair Tax Co-cordinator Stephanie Usrey, who was one of the organizers of Wenesday's meeting, said they plan to hold more meetings in the coming months.

"We plan to hold monthly meetings and get the word out," she said. "This will not be the only one. We are trying to get enough people to sign the petition to get the legislators to put the idea on the floor of the House (of Representatives).

"Usrey said they need 21 members of the House and 10 Senators to be able to get it out of committee.

"That's our goal. We're just one of many groups that are forming all over the country. Hopefully they'll hear us and put an end to this unfair system," Usrey said. "We're not saying we shouldn't pay any taxes. We just think it should be a more fair system. (The current) system wasn't what the Founding Fathers had in mind."

As for Frommer, he said it couldn't come fast enough. He had nearly a third of his five-digit paycheck is taken by taxes.

"I would like to see it in my lifetime. If we can get enough people to support it, maybe it will happen. I don't (think) it's right that the government should be able to take that much."

FairTax Rally - Gainesville GA (Part 1)

By HARRIS BLACKWOOD
The Times

http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/news/stories/20060615/localnews/103250.shtml

Herman Cain was part salesman and part evangelist as he spoke Wednesday in support of a national sales tax.

Cain, who finished second in the 2004 Georgia GOP race for the U.S. Senate, was the featured speaker at a "fair tax" rally held at Longstreet Cafe in Gainesville.

"Fair tax" is the term supporters use to describe a proposed national 23 percent tax on goods and services that would replace the current income tax system.

"We're now a movement," Cain said of growing national support of the concept.

The fair tax has become popular fodder for conservative talk show hosts and their message appears to resonate with many. A crowd of some 200 packed the popular cafeteria-style eatery.

Many sported shirts and buttons with the letters "IRS" with a red slash through them.

Cain's mention of turning April 15, the traditional tax filing deadline, into "just another day" drew loud applause from the crowd.

Cain said later he continues to be amazed at the idea's growth.

"I think it's because people are sick and tired of being sick and tired of the same old mess," said Cain, a successful business executive whose conservative ideology has drawn widespread acclaim.

"The average person has gotten sick of the insanity of this tax code and our elected officials doing nothing about it," Cain said.

The fair tax was first introduced in Congress by Rep. John Linder of Georgia.

Linder, a conservative Republican, and Atlanta-based syndicated talk show host Neal Boortz wrote "The Fair Tax Book," which explains the concept in detail. The book has been a best seller in both hardback and paperback.

Georgia's seven Republican Congressmen, including Gainesville's Nathan Deal, have signed on as supporters of the fair tax, as have both U.S. Senators Saxby Chambliss and Johnny Isakson.

Cain said despite the widespread support in Georgia, the tax is a long way from passage.

"It's still an uphill battle, because you're going to have people fighting it from the other side," he said. "There are some people who do not want this country to be the best that it can be."

Cain said he was astonished at the size of the Gainesville crowd.

"They expected 25 people and we ended up with almost 300," he said.

"That's what I mean by a movement. You get crowds of people who have already been converted who want to be reinspired."

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

God is like...

SEARS .... He has everything

Do You Believe in God?

NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest number of responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the percentage was the same as this:

86% to keep the words, IN God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance
14% against.

That is a pretty 'commanding' public response.

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a mess about having "In God We Trust" on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why is the world catering to this 14%?

AMEN!