Did I Read That Sign Right?

Got this in an email from my father-in-law. Enjoy!

In an office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER...PLEASE US FLOOR BELOW

(ewwwww!!!)

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

(sounds like fun laudromat, too bad my washer and dryer are working!)

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

(huh?)

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

(sounds like steps have already been taken)

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

(I'd better have someone else empty the teapot, then)

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. ! WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

(hey!!!)

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

(hmmmm....)

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

(And when did elephants learn to drive????)

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

(I really hope they know they have children)

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

(wonder what the interest rate is)

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

(I'm having visions of Wizard of Oz)